Who knows about your surgery?

[bearbandit 0]

Everyone knows. This just makes the awkard situations easier to deal with, like having to leave at the dinner table at a restaurant, or when I need to stop eating and wait for a few mins before continuing. That way the already know why and I dont have to lie or make up something. Be proud of your band, and dont be embarassed. Besides I have always lived by the philosophy that 'who cares what people think' Your not hurting anyone and you got a lapband for the simple fact you need help to get your weight back to a healthy level...Good luck on your journey and always be proud of having your band...

[eyezchu22 6]

I have started telling the people I trust about it. I have come to terms with my decision and am not embarassed about it, Because this band will help me get healthier and be able to do more stuff with my daughter... Or so I thought... I told my sister yesterday and she said the dreaded phrase " Your taking the easy way out" I was SO hurt that of all people SHE would be the one to say this. Especially because she has been privy to my struggles since my Tweens!!!

But to answer your question tell the people you think should know and just be aware that some people wont understand or agree with your decision.

[pickles123 0]

I am not telling anyone but my husband. Not even my daughter until it is over. Maybe not even then if I am not feeling too bad. I am not embarassed nor do I care what anyone thinks of me.

I am a private person I want to keep it private. I have lost a great deal of weight before and I am just doing it again. I don't think anyone will know the difference and if they do and ask I will tell them that I am eating less and exercising. Which I am.

I don't even like vanity plates on a persons car because it tells me to much about them.

I am glad all of you are having the surgery and I think we are going to do great whether people know or not.

Keep up the good work.

[Unforgettable 0]

To me, this surgery is just like any other surgery - a personal and private decision. I wouldn't necessarily go telling the world that I had a hysterectomy, or bunion removed or whatever. But I am also a very private person as well, so it goes with my personality. I've told my immediate family and a handful of friends. When I'm losing weight and really feeling good about everything, will I tell more people? Probably. I didn't want to tell people before surgery because I didn't want to hear all the reasons why I shouldn't do it. Now after surgery I find myself telling people easier because they can't try to change a decision I've already made lol It's just not worth the headache for me

I've decided that if people were to ask me if I've had surgery, I'm not going to come up with an elaborate lie about gallbladder surgery, blah blah, but I'm not going to announce my personal medial details to the world either. I don't want to outright lie about it. I've had one or two people ask what I've been doing and I've said Portion Control, eating healthier choices, exercising, and magic :crying:

[onikenbai 33]

Pretty much everybody in my office knows... the other office maybe only one or two people. I had to tell the health & safety person so that I don't get put on a rotation of field work out in the sun for 12hrs a day when I'm doing my pre-op diet. I might as well come clean now and stave off the rumours that I'm dying of cancer and that's why I'm losing weight. The rumour mill must have anwers and, in the absence thereof, will make up whatever sounds good.

I've told my friends who I see on a regular basis. I figure for the people who I don't see very often I will get to have the fun of watching them fumble over their words trying to find out what happened. I am sick and twisted and will enjoy it emmensely.

[DB1119 0]

My husband and I are doing this together. He is telling everyone about his planned surgery. I, on the other hand, have told my immediate family & my best friend - that's it. I am not embarresed, I am just very private. I also do not want to feel pressure & feel like I have to constantly focus on my diet & amount of weight loss. I want this to become a natural way of living for me - I need to take the focus away from constantly thinking about food, dieting & OMG am I losing fast enough. I hope that make sense. Good luck to all of you.

[daqui26 4]

it really upsets me when people say why are you ashamed of your band. not telling someone you have it or want it should not always be looked at as shame. to me its privacy. my family knows but my in-laws do not, no shame there. they dont care for me and i dont care for them. they will talk about me no matter how i look, the same goes for co-workers. 3 of my closest co-workers know, the others do not need to know. we dont talk about anything outside of work so why should my personal business be an ice-breaker.

some people can be influenced by what others say and if you are that type of person keep it to yourself. i was a few years ago when i first thought about WLS, a friend told me i was not big enough for it. and i said you might be right and stopped researching. once you make up your mind stick to it. this is for you not them.

you choose who you want to tell based on your own feelings. i'd tell a stranger before i told my in-laws or co-workers. now ain't that a shame.

Edited July 28, 2009 by daqui26

[lose2regainme 0]

Do whats comfortable for you. You may find afterwards, when you start getting nice comments, it's easier to tell. But there's nothing wrong with "keeping it in the family", if thats what you are comfortable with. I am finding I would gladly shout it from the top of the highest skyscraper! I have surprised my self with how many people I have lifted my shirt for and shown them my stitches, and now healing scars. I haven't had one unsupportive thing said to me. Family, friends, other parents in Boy Scouts, neighbors, etc. And to think, it used to irritate me when people would put their hands on my belly during my pregnancies to feel the baby kick without asking first. Now I'm walking around in public being an exhibitionist!!!:smile2:

[frauhowe 1]

I'm torn on this decision as well. I'm only at the beginning of my journey, my 6-month monitored insurance diet starts in September, but so far the only people that know is my husband who is very supportive of me, and my mother who thinks I'm going to fail because she doesn't think I have the right attitude. She thinks that I think it's a cheat and that I'll still overeat and stretch my stomach out and gain it all back. So I shouldn't have told her anything, she always bursts my bubble.

Because I have social anxiety disorder, it's hard for me to get close to people so I only have a couple of friends. One I know would be supportive but the other I'm afraid to ever tell her about it. I've been gradually learning that this "friend" is not a very good one, she had gastric bypass a year ago, and it was always clear to me that she had self esteem issues because of the way she criticized everything about everyone - for example when we got together if she saw an overweight person she'd make comments (and I'd be thinking...."hello you're over 500 pounds who are you to judge!"). I once tossed a "hey I should do it" comment out there, kiddingly at the time. Ever since then she's made comments of how she disagrees with anyone who doesn't really "need" the surgery having it done. Apparently the doctors' requirements of +40 bmi are not good according to her standards. She says it should only be reserved for people who are many hundred pounds overweight. I know what she really means by this is that she wants me to be bigger than she is. Who is she to say what other people should or shouldn't do regarding their own health? Anyway I'm afraid of telling her I've become serious about my decision to do it because I know she'll think I'm only doing it because I'm jealous.

How did I start off on a rant about that? I gotta get new friends. Anyway back to the topic at hand. I don't know how I'm going to handle my work situation. I originally wanted to get banded BECAUSE of the more gradual weight loss, it would be easier to explain away the loss to just diet and exercise, but I think I've changed my mind and am leaning more toward standard bypass now. I don't know how I'm going to handle the questions, but the first person that accuses me of taking the easy way out (which I know will be my uncle because he's an obnoxious ass to everyone) will get a slap upside the head LOL! A live support group setting will be of especially great importance to me, I live with a bunch of naysayers.

[abbypoo 0]

I feel very similar to you. I am a bit embarrassed that I need this surgery in the first place, so I am hesitant to discuss it with others. The only people I've told are my boyfriend and my mother, and I doubt that I will be telling anyone else. At least not until it's blatantly obvious, anyway.

[juliansmom2003 3]

I have such a big mouth, I've pretty much told everyone. Moreso because I'm really excited, I just can't contain myself. Of course, everyone has their opinion on whether or not they want to share, and they should do what is most comfortable to them :-)

[germangirl 0]

I told 2 close friends before my surgery on July 7, 2009. I told my husband the day before that I was getting a procedure done to help my weight. I didn't tell him or anyone else because I didn't want them to talk me out of it. It has taken a year to get to my surgery. I'm now three weeks post-op and doing wonderful. I've lost 18lbs so far. Now my whole family knows and are supportive. I'm not at all embarassed and look at it this way -- many people get plastic surgery, breast implants, etc. I got banded for my health. Good luck with your surgery tomorrow.

[gitrdone 0]

I'm not ashamed. I agree with restlessmonkey, I was ashamed when I was fat but not because of other people more at myself. I don't really care what other people think of me. I care what I think of me. Also if talking about it can help someone else all the better. I don't just walk up and tell people but if they ask how I've lost so much weight I tell them a lot of hard work and the help of lap band.

I hope I reach this point Kimaly. Right now I've told my husband, son, brother, and sil. I've become agoraphobic over the last couple years and hope as the weight goes off I'll be more inclined to interact with others.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I hope I reach this point Kimaly. Right now I've told my husband, son, brother, and sil. I've become agoraphobic over the last couple years and hope as the weight goes off I'll be more inclined to interact with others.

I just wanted to tell you...that if by "agoraphobic" you mean you don't like going out because you're heavy and fear you'll be ostracized, or are physically uncomfortable being heavy and "out" etc, then weight loss will most likely help!

BUT there are many agoraphobics who are not overweight. If you truly mean "agoraphobia" where you have a panic attack at the thought of having to leave your home, losing weight alone won't do it for you, and I'd hate for you to be disappointed when it didn't. What will help that is a good behavioral therapist, and they should be able to help you get up enough "courage" to get to them if necessary.

Don't mean to parse points with you! Just would hate for you to think the lap band can "help" true agoraphobia. Unfortunately, it won't.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Who knows about your surgery?

Everyone..