HELP!!! I'm struggling and feel like a failure.

[karenv 0]

Why, why, why can't I stop putting junk in my mouth when I'm not hungry. I can do well for a few days and then I find the junk food around the house and I'll just eat. I've eatin even when I don't want it. Can anyone relate to this? My DH can eat whatever and whenever he wants and doesn't gain a pound. I feel like a basket case at times. I was banded 6/3/09 and have lost 35 lbs since the 2 week pre-op liqued diet. I got my second fill today for a total of 3.5cc. I know it was suppose to be liquids all day, but I was helping out at our church tag sale and was starving by 10 am. With no liquid food in sight, I had a small lemon poppy seed muffin. I felt it get "stuck" and needed my enzyme tablets. Not fun. The rest of the day was followed by junk food and I have not had a "meal" all day. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!. I feel so out of control with myself. Any suggestions to get back on track with my eating and thinking habits? I just want to cry and I feel so alone with this struggle. :cool2: Please help.

[Headhunter 6]

Hi, Karen;

First of all, you're doing great. You've lost a bunch of weight thus far, and you are on the right track.

Everyone who has WLS stumbles now and then. It really does happen to us all. But, it's like anything else in life; it's what you do NEXT that counts.

You've only had your band for a few weeks, and you still have some adjustments to make to the new "psychology" of eating that you have to incorporate into your life.

I would very strongly suggest that you search for and contact a Psychotherapist that specializes in bariatric disorders. The emotional "head hunger" is a big problem that the band does not solve, and you might need some help with that. I always recommend to people that in conjunction with their surgery they seek out a therapist and see them for a while, perhaps a LONG while....someone who is GOOD can really, really help you with this problem. Make sure that they are indeed a SPECIALIST in bariatric problems.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Even though you have had the surgery, you are still at the VERY BEGINNING of this process, and you have a ways to go before you are comfortable in your "new home", so to speak. Some people do this faster than others, but you WILL get there.

Remember this: "Failure is only important if it's the LAST time you try".

That means that you will stumble, you will fall, but each time you get back up, you will be one step closer to achieving your goal.

The ads on TV (and many people who have had the surgery) make it seem like an easy, painless process. MOST people who have gone through this will tell you that it is NOT. There are many challenges, and you are having one of those challenges right now. But, you WILL come through it, and you will reach your goal. Just keep that in mind.

And, you can always come here for support. People here have gone through EXACTLY what you are going through at this moment. They know how it feels, and they know how to get past it.

Keep your chin up....you're on your way to a new life! :cool2:

HH

[karenv 0]

Hi HH, thanks for understanding and not making me feel worse. It helps to hear from people who know for themselves what you are going through. Many peole can tell you what you should and should not do but unless they've lived a life with obesity, they just don't understand. Thank you again; I think I do need to talk to a therapist.

[whatupw 0]

I was banded May 14th and have lost 37 pounds. I find lately that I am picking nonstop. Head hunger - its a term I just recently heard even though I have been overweight my entire life. The phrase speaks volumes. I think I want to find a therapist to help me with this as I don't think I'm doing very well handling it by myself. You'll get it and I'll get it, its just a matter of when. I hope its soon.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

As is so often the case, I agree with my friend Headhunter. In fact, I just went back to my therapist that I had gone to for a year on my own BEFORE I even got the band (she's "behavioral" and really great) but I was having some issues with eating when I wasn't hungry and she really helped me figure it all out.

Because...you could've taken a shake or whatever to the church thing but didn't (I recognized that because that's a big one for me...like I make it so I almost HAVE to eat something that will not help me lose! :cool2: )

Anyway, until you get your therapist, you maybe would like to try this: it helped me a lot. (this isn't from my therapist, just one thing I came up with to trick myself into walking the straight and narrow!)

I allow myself ANYTHING I want to eat, but only for 3 meals a day. So for example if I want cake and ice cream, I have it. But it's my meal. You totally cut out Snacks and yes you may eat some wild stuff for a few meals but trust me, you don't do it for long. Within a few days you'll be just eating 3 meals a day and then of course the next step is to make one meal "healthy". Do that for a couple days then make 2 meals "healthy" and so on. You see the trend. It kind of helps you sneak up on "doing the right thing". NO GUILT EITHER! NO feeling bad during any phase. Keep thinking "It's just food". Funny how it can help. :smile:

[betrthnever 107]

Hi Karenv, you said you took an enzyme pill when you got stuck - ? Never heard of this

[softbubbles 0]

Hi I really know how you feel, I feel I'm A BIG FAILURE, I get so depressed with my slow slow weight loss that I seem to eat everything I'm not supposed to eat, I was banded back in Feb 2006 and have only 2.5CC in my band and so far have only lost 20kg around 44lbs this is so depressing, I don't know what to do. I also take thyroid medication due to having my thyroid removed so I don't know whether this is part of my problem. I think we both need to stop calling ourselves a FAILURE this isnt helping us mentally at all.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Hi Karenv, you said you took an enzyme pill when you got stuck - ? Never heard of this

Papaya Enzyme (got mine at my grocery store) helps digest Protein. It's a godsend. Mine is formulated with other enzymes that aid in digesting vegetables (cellulase) and fats (lipase) (although we don't really ever DIGEST fat) and it helps immensely when you are stuck. Acts quickly, too

[karenv 0]

Hi whatupw, thanks for sharing your similar struggle with me. Sometimes I think I must be crazy doing what I do. I do need professional help.

[karenv 0]

Hi Karenv, you said you took an enzyme pill when you got stuck - ? Never heard of this

Hi betrthnever, I took 2 chewable papaya enzyme tablets. They didn't taste too bad going down but I felt sick for a couple hours. It was a suggestion in the bariatric folder that was given to me by my dr.

[karenv 0]

Hi I really know how you feel, I feel I'm A BIG FAILURE, I get so depressed with my slow slow weight loss that I seem to eat everything I'm not supposed to eat, I was banded back in Feb 2006 and have only 2.5CC in my band and so far have only lost 20kg around 44lbs this is so depressing, I don't know what to do. I also take thyroid medication due to having my thyroid removed so I don't know whether this is part of my problem. I think we both need to stop calling ourselves a FAILURE this isnt helping us mentally at all.

Hi softbubbles,

Your right we need to stop calling ourselves a failure but I think ( I know ) I put so much pressure on myself to get things right that when I mess up, I beat myself up terribly. I've known I do this but that is all I know how to do. I'm open to any suggestions on how to change my thinking. Let me know if you get any good tips.

Karen

[krtork 0]

Karenv~ I agree with trying to find a therapist that you can work with, it will be a big help. You need to stop the negative self-talk - which we are all so good at and look at what you have done so far as a step in the right direction. You need to get back on track and that is sometimes easier said than done! We all know how you feel.

You have some great suggestions here already! One thing that I have done at my house is have a dedicated shelf in the fridge and cupboard that have all of "my" foods on them. Nobody else can touch. This has helped me alot. When I look in the fridge for something to put in my mouth (old habits die hard), I have my shelf to rummage through. I only have good choices on that shelf. The same thing goes with the cupboard.

My other suggestion would be to plan. It is so important to plan, especially in the early stages of your band. I have 3-4 standard "meals" that I can go to. They are easy and I can mix and match them during the week. It also helps me to know what I am having that day so I don't feel the need to go to the cupboard/fridge looking for something/anything to eat.

I hope these suggestions will help! We all struggle at some point in the process, so don't give up! Looking for help here is a great start!

[jsinss 0]

Hey. I know what you're feeling, too. My band was in Feb09. I've lost 40 pounds, but for the past month, i've stayed at the same 206. So I get depressed and eat my way through the night. No matter the cost. I tell myself tomorrow will be better, but it's the same... I'm frustrated. Mostly with myself.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Karen, you're not a failure....you're still working at being able to plan. The tag sale situation....I will say that it was poor planning on your part. Invest in a small cooler. Keep some ready-to-drink Protein shakes on hand. Got to go out and don't know for certain what will be available to you? Stick an RTD in with a couple of bottles of Water. A healthy snack, such as low fat cheese.

That junk food in the house? I know it's for your husband BUT he's gonna need to be supportive of you an not leave all those temptations there for you. My 20 year old granddaugher lives with me and she's 5'7" and weight 105 .... snack away, LOL. But I make her keep her Snacks in her room rather than in my kitchen where I have to look at them when I am at my weakest (when I'm hungry). Believe me, I've done what you did and, yeah, I regretted it but you have to put it behind you. If you eat something "bad", don't let it ruin your whole day. Jump back on the wagon and do right for the rest of the day. And, we're all here for you with ideas and SUPPORT.

[karenv 0]

Thanks to you all for your insight, support and encouragements. I attended a support group this past tuesday night(first one in my area for the group that did the banding) and the woman who led the group was the psychologist that did my evaluation prior to approval. God is good. Along with the others in attendance, I was given a lot of "food for thought". She was very good. She's going to be helping in the mental part and not so much in the nutritional part. I will pass on any good pieces of info as I get it. Thank you all again.

Karen