please help

[CantB2noty 0]

I was just wondering if ANYONE has considered the fact that the OP, Saber, came her looking for peoples OPINIONS and experiences with either banding or bypass to help her make a decision. Instead she got people arguing the finer points of weight loss surgery, mudslinging and subtle name calling and whatever else you want to throw into the mix. Instead of being adults and agreeing to disagree, it just continued!!! If people have a misconceived notion about one type of surgery or another, speaking down to them,making them feel ignorant, etc etc isnt the way to get them to listen. Neither is calling names. Really, I feel sorry for Saber. She just wanted help, and she found some acting like 2 years not sharing their toys. If this is a place for help and support, so stop being aggressive, talking down, name calling and actually offer support. Funnily enough, I have seen this before in other threads and it was the same ones entangled. I would love to know what support and information Saber was able to take from your arguements.

Now, you can all blast me if you want, thats fine. I came to this site for support, help and information, becuz i know no one that has a band. You do not have to agree with everyone, you can disagree and argue your point with respect and kindness. If you cant do that, then prehaps there is another avenue where you can disspell your own personal negative feelings: such as a PM to the person you are arguing with......

Just my opinion......

[~Michelle~ 0]

Ditto...couldn't have said it better myself!

[NikkiReyes 1]

AMEN Sister!

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

Cantb2noty,

I'm not gonna blast you because I agree whole heartedly with everything you said. It was well worded and I'm sorry for even letting a certain individual push my buttons.

Thanks for your input.

Donna

Edited July 30, 2009 by FailureIsntAnOption

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I would also like to add that I, just like all of you, was trying to help somebody when I was verbally attacked here. It would be interesting to see just how all of you would react in the same situation. I guess I am just not good at being called names, belittled and berated and keeping my mouth shut. Sorry but I am just not made that way.

Edited July 30, 2009 by FailureIsntAnOption

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I would also like to add that I, just like all of you, was trying to help somebody when I was verbally attacked here. It would be interesting to see just how all of you would react in the same situation. I guess I am just not good at being called names, belittled and berated and keeping my mouth shut. Sorry but I am just not made that way. After being dehumanized I am now reluctant to post anything.

Posts on a public message board by people you do not know make you feel dehumanized? Really?

Message boards are what they are. You take what works for you and leave the rest. If you are that sensitive maybe message boards just aren't your thing?

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

Does this mean there is something wrong with expecting common respect and decency from our peers??? I think not! There is something wrong with those who have no boundaries in life and are intolerant of other people's opinions.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Does this mean there is something wrong with expecting common respect and decency from our peers??? I think not! There is something wrong with those who have no boundaries in life and are intolerant of other people's opinions.

I never wrote that. Not sure where you got that from as nobody here wrote that. What I did write was that if you are so sensitive that strangers on a message board can make you feel... how did you explain? Dehumanized, maybe message boards aren't your thing. That's a pretty strong feeling for a message board to cause you to feel.

Edited July 30, 2009 by WASaBubbleButt

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I never wrote that. Not sure where you got that from as nobody here wrote that. What I did write was that if you are that sensitive that strangers on a message board can make you feel THAT bad, maybe message boards aren't your thing.

We'll see, time will tell. Thanks for caring!

I just noticed, we had the same surgeon.

[halfwayinOH 0]

I had my lap band surgery in Nov 2008. I have lost almost 80 lbs so far.

[Nanook 2]

Let me just say something about Headhunter, when he first appeared here at LBT he had just had some real traumatic issues with his lap band and almost lost his stomach and his life due to it. Many of the people here were not very receptive to him because they couldn't believe that something that horrible could happen to a lap band patient and he was just trying to share his story so people knew that yes, this could happen as it happened to him so be aware. He was even accused of being a troll on this board. Hey I was too at one time and I hope they weren't referring to my hair in this horrible east coast humdity!

I believe after reading many of his posts that he's just trying to educate people on WLS in general as he's had a couple like I have. And he's also said many times that he's not trying to force one or another surgery down someone's throat like some people do just to make sure that you look at all the facts and pick the right procedure for "you". I've seen plenty of information put out here about RNY that appears to be more "old wives' tale" than anything but if I had to take the time to correct every one I'd be here forever and I'm just not that young anymore!

After reading this thread I found HH to be pretty darn funny myself, but that's just me.

Personally, my PCP didn't want me to have the lap band and I was his first patient, and probably only one to have it done. I wanted it done anyway as I was afraid to have the gastric bypass for the same and often misguided reasons that everyone else has listed. My bariatric surgeon didn't really care which I had and I have to admit I wasn't as informed when I had mine done in 2007 as I should have been. Came here looking for answers after I had been banded about six months. Learned a lot here! chips and chocolate and Cookies go through the band? Why didn't he tell me that?

My 19 yo daughter had the gastric bypass less than a year after I had my lap band done. This was her choice and I knew how important this was for her "well being" and as we were still covering her with our insurance so after much thought we let her go through with it. Naturally I was more scared for her to have it than I was for myself. She has since then lost 150 lbs and has truly blossomed into a much happier person, she was wonderful to begin with but was miserable with herself and it was going to a dark place for her.

Anyway I got GERD after about a year on the band and was put in the hospital for the chest pains it caused and within two weeks of that they removed my band. I was so frustrated with WLS and myself for being a "failure" that I couldn't even think about revision surgery. But as the band was gone I put even more weight on, (as I was one of the few who gained with the band) and got even more depressed and that's when I met with my surgeon and decided to revise.

My life is totally different with RNY than it was with the lap band as so far I've actually lost my appetite and "head hunger" or cravings whatever you want to call it. I was a sugar eater and had type 2 diabetes. And yes, I put sugar in my tea now and haven't died. And yes I tried cake and had dumping syndrome and am glad I did! And when I do eat I already have a built in restriction plus the malabsorption doesn't hurt either! I am losing weight which I thought would be nearly impossible so I pinch myself still to see if I am dreaming.

Like HH I'm telling you "my" story and am not trying to push any surgery as what works for one will not work for another. Just like the lap band works for some people and not for others, like myself. I had the lap band and since I had problems with and and had it eventually removed I've had plenty of pm's from people asking me about it and telling me their similar stories as they were always afraid to come here in the open to as they might get attacked, which as we all know can happen.

So long story short, and sorry for the long story if some of us appear to have "chips" on our shoulders it could be because of many attacks we've received here over the year or two due to our lap band complications, sorry but true. Good luck to all of us who have had WLS as we all need it, Nancy.:laugh:

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

Let me just say something about Headhunter, when he first appeared here at LBT he had just had some real traumatic issues with his lap band and almost lost his stomach and his life due to it. Many of the people here were not very receptive to him because they couldn't believe that something that horrible could happen to a lap band patient and he was just trying to share his story so people knew that yes, this could happen as it happened to him so be aware. He was even accused of being a troll on this board. Hey I was too at one time and I hope they weren't referring to my hair in this horrible east coast humdity!

I believe after reading many of his posts that he's just trying to educate people on WLS in general as he's had a couple like I have. And he's also said many times that he's not trying to force one or another surgery down someone's throat like some people do just to make sure that you look at all the facts and pick the right procedure for "you". I've seen plenty of information put out here about RNY that appears to be more "old wives' tale" than anything but if I had to take the time to correct every one I'd be here forever and I'm just not that young anymore!

After reading this thread I found HH to be pretty darn funny myself, but that's just me.

Personally, my PCP didn't want me to have the lap band and I was his first patient, and probably only one to have it done. I wanted it done anyway as I was afraid to have the gastric bypass for the same and often misguided reasons that everyone else has listed. My bariatric surgeon didn't really care which I had and I have to admit I wasn't as informed when I had mine done in 2007 as I should have been. Came here looking for answers after I had been banded about six months. Learned a lot here! chips and chocolate and Cookies go through the band? Why didn't he tell me that?

My 19 yo daughter had the gastric bypass less than a year after I had my lap band done. This was her choice and I knew how important this was for her "well being" and as we were still covering her with our insurance so after much thought we let her go through with it. Naturally I was more scared for her to have it than I was for myself. She has since then lost 150 lbs and has truly blossomed into a much happier person, she was wonderful to begin with but was miserable with herself and it was going to a dark place for her.

Anyway I got GERD after about a year on the band and was put in the hospital for the chest pains it caused and within two weeks of that they removed my band. I was so frustrated with WLS and myself for being a "failure" that I couldn't even think about revision surgery. But as the band was gone I put even more weight on, (as I was one of the few who gained with the band) and got even more depressed and that's when I met with my surgeon and decided to revise.

My life is totally different with RNY than it was with the lap band as so far I've actually lost my appetite and "head hunger" or cravings whatever you want to call it. I was a sugar eater and had type 2 diabetes. And yes, I put sugar in my tea now and haven't died. And yes I tried cake and had dumping syndrome and am glad I did! And when I do eat I already have a built in restriction plus the malabsorption doesn't hurt either! I am losing weight which I thought would be nearly impossible so I pinch myself still to see if I am dreaming.

Like HH I'm telling you "my" story and am not trying to push any surgery as what works for one will not work for another. Just like the lap band works for some people and not for others, like myself. I had the lap band and since I had problems with and and had it eventually removed I've had plenty of pm's from people asking me about it and telling me their similar stories as they were always afraid to come here in the open to as they might get attacked, which as we all know can happen.

So long story short, and sorry for the long story if some of us appear to have "chips" on our shoulders it could be because of many attacks we've received here over the year or two due to our lap band complications, sorry but true. Good luck to all of us who have had WLS as we all need it, Nancy.:laugh:

I fully agree about HH. Everything you write about him... on the money!

He rubs people the wrong way but he does so because he's right.

I heart HH.

Now... if he would just read he darn EMAIL! Grrrrrrr

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I disagree with you both. He is still rude, nasty and arrogant. I haven't yet heard anything that warrants his behavior. So I'm gonna just unsubscribe from this debate. Feel free to continue on with all the excuses you like...............but quite frankly, I don't even care anymore.

Goodnight ladies!

Edited July 31, 2009 by FailureIsntAnOption

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

I disagree with you both. He is still rude, nasty and arrogant. I haven't yet heard anything that warrants his behavior. So I'm gonna just unsubscribe from this debate. Feel free to continue on with all the excuses you like...............but quite frankly, I don't even care anymore.

Goodnight ladies!

Sometimes HH's advice is hard to hear. He is really REALLY up front and in your face. Not everyone is ready for that.

It does not take away the fact that he is right.

He doesn't sugar coat things. Neither do I. I am blunt and "this is how it is" kinda attitude. HH is more blunt than me. Amazing, yet true. ;o)

This doesn't make him wrong. It makes his delivery style right there, deal with it or don't.

HH has been where you are. He has progressed beyond that point. (except that he does not respond to his darned EMAIL!) He does care whether you prefer to admit it or not.

[CantB2noty 0]

ggggrrrrrrr.....really? Belittling, degrading intelligence of others, etc etc isnt an in your face attitude.. Its mean and it hurts... And I struggle to think that ANYONE would think that this arguement on this post was close to appropriate...

My original point was taken by a precious few...The underlying point here isnt if HH is an a** or a sweetheart, right or wrong.... Its about arguing on a post where a person was looking for opinions, thoughts and fact to help her make a decision.. I am very sure she got that info from this post, if the poor thing ever signs back onto LBT as this was her first post!!!!!!!