Are you a closet bandster? & Do you regret your decision?

[Refound_Hope 0]

My story is this...

My parents actually were the ones to tell me and suggest the surgery. They have been very supportive through the whole process of me deciding what to do. I have also told my husband who is nervous because he doesnt really know alot about it but is learning. My husbands dad is a doctor and so my husband asked him about it and so he knows that I am thinking about it but he doesnt know that I have a surgery date. I also have a friend who had a gastric bypass and she went to my orientation with me and has been a great support system for me and so she knows. I am not sure if I am going to tell my immediate family or my husbands family about the surgery. I might tell my family because if they didnt know and they found out about it they would be totally devasted because we are all really close. I am definitely not telling my husbands family because they are the type that they came from a medical doctor family and so they have the just eat less and exercise rule attitude. They just say well if you only eat 3 meals a day and exercise 3 hours a day you will loose the weight. Its all about self control and then they look at me like I have none. They are also the type that none of them have ever been fat a day in their life, so heaven forbid they have tolerance for any one else. They are also the type that there opinions are the only ones that matter and everybody else is stupid for not thinking the same way. So anyways enough about the inlaw bitch fest. So I am having my surgery Jan 9th and am so excited to start my new life. I cant wait to make some heads turn.

[Guest Miss Losin Lot']

I have to admit there have been times when I WISHED that I had just kept my mouth shut. All of my friends are wonderful. In fact most of them have had lapband themselves. It's my husbands family that I wish I hadn't told. They always ask me how much I've lost, etc. and it bothers me. Why, I don't know. It just does. I suppose I feel as though they are just waiting for me to screw this up. But I won't.

For me...I tell everyone! I'm very PROUD of losing 80 pounds. I'm proud that I took a final stand for myself as obesity tends to be a condition that causes so many of us to let people say what they want and treat us however they want. I think there is a small part of me that's just waiting for the day that someone makes nasty little remarks like those you've described, to me. Because I WILL rip them a new one. I'm always amazed at how people can make such remarks when it comes to the obese population. They would NEVER say a thing like that regarding a heart patient, liver transplant patient or cancer patient. Not ever. Not even if the transplant patient was getting a new liver due to extensive drinking, not even if the cancer patient had cancer due to smoking, and not even if the heart patient had the problems due to the fatty foods they eat. They also would never remark to a person who takes maternity leave to have a baby....yet when one does that, the workload falls back on those who must pick up the slack. How fair is that to men or the women who decide not to have kids? If I tried hard enough I could find unfairness in just about everything in life..... But because it's a person who's obese....it's open season on their feelings. Amazing isn't it.

I'de have LOVED to of been at your gathering when all the know it all's chimmed in on this subject.

We all have to decide who or if we will tell people. If your surrounded with negative MEAN, UNCARING, and/or UNEDUCATED people then I wouldn't bother telling them until you can stand up proudly and give them facts as well as food for thought regarding their own shortcomings.

Take care of you and I wish you all the best.

Kay

AKA: Miss Losin' Lot's...80 pounds as of today! I'm thrilled.

[Firecallie 2]

My story. I came here, saw the thread, thought about it and decided that i DID NOT WANT anyone knowing about the band, aside from my mother. Well a week passed, two since consultation and i'm on the board more and more and my friend starts making these comments, about weight and people at her work contemplating surgery, and then she's telling me i'm beautiful (she is very sweet) and i come here and make a post "SOMETHING IS WRONG"...more time passes, and more and eventually after asking her boyfriend (my friend) what was the matter she tells me she knows i'm going to have it done. She found out because her boyfriend was doing internet research for his dad and his b/f wife had it done. It is insane how people can still find out. Needless to say my friend said she wished i would reconsider but she would support me either way in my decision and she really has. She even offered to take off of work to take care of me, and come visit me, she went shopping with me while I was on my liquid diet. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, it's so incredible how she can back me up on this even though she doesn't really like it. I say if it is a TRUE FRIEND it might be helpful to tell them, however i didn't tell mine and i just got VERY lucky that she found out, it will make this so much easier.

P.S. I do not intend on telling anyone else.