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Can I do this? This is question that I have been asking myself over and over. All my life since I was a little girl I have been FAT. I have used food to comfort me when I was upset, as a social activity with friends, and as a form of celebration. I have tried and failed at so many other diet plans that is is not even funny. Sure each time I would make my mind up that this time was going to be different. I'd start out doing great sticking to the food plan and exercising daily and then it would happen! I'd think to myself I sure would like a blizzard or some other food that I knew was forbidden. Eventually, I would break down and go get whatever it was that I desired and afterward I'd think to my self "Oh well you have blown it now you may as well wait and start over on Monday. So now, here I am considering having lapband surgery. Who am I to think that this time will be any different? It's not that I don't want to do it, it's just that I have failed so many times before that I don't know if I can do it. I want to be healthy and thin so bad that I can taste it, but how can someone that wants something so bad keep failing? What am I doing wrong? How in the world am I suppose to stick to a 2 week liquid diet when I can't even stick to Weight Watchers? So I guess this is my question to everyone out there: How did you know that you were ready for this? How did you keep yourself motivatied to stick with the plan? Thanks for listening to me rant and rave! Any info or encouragement will be appreciated.:)

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I had to want it bad enough. I had been researching the band for quite some time and attended numerous seminars. Then, in May came a defining moment when I was so embarassed at a family function that I said enough is enough. It isn't easy and you MUST be prepared to stick to the plan as instructed. You have to want it bad and find things to motivate yourself enough to follow through. Read some of the threads on this site and you will get an idea of how hard it is and what we have all done to help ease the journey. Good Luck!

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Aways keep in mind who you are doing this for and why!! You are going to make positive changes for yourself and it will effect all those around you, but you have to be happy with yourself before you can be a positive influence on others in your life. You CAN do this, and it's OK to be a little selfish to get it done!! Good Luck and always think positive, you are worth it!!!

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Your story sounds like mine. I've always been heavy. I'm certainly not an expert yet, but so far I'm glad I made the decision to get the band. My personal mantra/goal is that this is not my ten millionth diet it is me changing my relationship with food. I still want to be able to eat normally, just smaller portions, I don't want "bad" foods or off limits to rule my life.

Good luck with your decision!

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"Oh well you have blown it now you may as well wait and start over on Monday."

I've said that sooo many times it was funny to read it on yours. I am pre-op right now and have the same fears as you do. thank-you for your posting. I've made up my mind to just do it. i'm having faith it will be different then all the others because my stomach will be small as heck lol. If i eat things i am not aloud it will hurt! i am a big baby and don't like pain. So with the combination of these things i will succeed! Best of luck to you. listen to your heart! you know what best for you!

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we really don't know if we are ready do we? some of us are not ready and will fail. very few of us, if any, are trying this as one of our first real attempts at weight loss...in fact proving to our insurance that we have made previous attempts to lose weight is a prerequisite for approval. so i guess it is fair to say that most of us are here as a last resort...we've tried everything else and we are desperate.

a majority of us will be successful. maybe it's because we have to jump through so many hoops to get it approved. maybe it's because of the pain and discomfort we experience with the procedure. maybe it's because if this doesn't work, the only other option is bypass....or maybe it's because for once we are not starving while on a diet.

whatever the reason... and maybe it is a combination of all of the above... this is a huge step, and if you are willing to take this enormous step, then trust yourself that you are going to take it all of the way. those that have succeeded with this procedure have done so after many failures, just like you and me. So why not you??

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Thanks so much for all the posts on this thread!! I'm sitting here feeling sort of the same way. I feel positive about the band. I'm just trying to wrap my head around eating a small amount and not being hungry. Does it work???? Honest????

Thanks from The Pool Girl

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In some ways it wont be any different. You will fall into those behaviours again and again, I still do it now sometimes, 4 years down the track. I'm still particularly prone to that I'm going to start a diet on Monday so I'll live it up this weekend mentality.

But this isnt ABOUT becoming a perfect person, its abut managing your problems and peculiar mentalities and issues around food with the support of something that gives you good Portion Control, so that when you slip up, you dont do the sort of damage you once did. Its about finding that SOME of those problem foods just wont be possible for you anymore and marvelling at how when you know they cause you pain, you stop wanting them.

Its about trying hard every day and succeeding more of the time than you fail.

But its also about getting real with yourself, stopping the excuses and putting in the hard yards. No time for exercise? Get up earlier, do it at midnight if you have to. Dont like exercise? Tough luck, do it anyway. Want that cookie at 9pm? Do something else, use all the same tactics.

You wont succeed at this every day of the journey, but you need to appreciate all the little successes and realise that each one is valid, that if you dont exercise, it doesnt mean there was no point in having eaten well all day or that if you eat badly that day then why bother exercising. If you can just get past the slip ups and continue on with what you're doing well, you will have success.

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Thanks so much for all of your comments! Yes I think that you are on to something here. That is my major problem, pushing past the "failure" in order to reach the goal. I seem to view each little setback as a major mess-up instead of forgetting it and moving on.

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The simple answer is

YES YOU CAN!!!
You can do whatever you believe you can do. Begin by believing that you can do this 1 meal at a time. Stop looking a the BIG picture and start taking small steps toward a bigger goal. Believe that you will drink your first meal on the first day and after Breakfast busy yourself with other things, at lunch drink your 2nd meal and so on and so forth. This is not easy but one meal at atime you will begin to feel accomplished... Believe in yourself that you can and you will change how you think, feel and eat food. We all have those same fears, doubts and emotions and that's why we have been banded or are thinking of being banded. We all have a poor relationship with food. Consider that you are working on your relationship with food.

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I haven't been banded yet, and it's for the same reason....afraid of failure. I've failed so many times before, if I do this, I cannot let myself fail again. I am waiting my my "ahh-ha moment"! LOL! I feel like I'm on the edge and need the push to turn my life around. Goodluck with your journey!

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
      · 2 replies
      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

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        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

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      Question for anyone, how did you get your mind right before surgery? Like as far as eating better foods and just doing better in general? I'm having a really hard time with this. Any help is appreciated 🙏❤️
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      1. NickelChip

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        That sounds awesome. I'll have to check that out thanks!

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