I'm SO conflicted..need advice!

[coloradobanding 5]

Hi all,

It's been awhile since I've been on the boards, mostly due to travel and work, but other reasons as well. I would LOVE to hear ANY and ALL comments; here goes!

I was banded Jan 19th, 2009 and have lost 40 lbs (plus or minus depending on the day) and feel FABULOUS!!! That said, here is one of my dilemmas.

Basically, since surgery I have had restriction. I had 2 fills, which went relatively without incident (some PB'ing and sliming, but nothing crazy). I lost a decent amount of weight (2lbs a week) and everything was fine. THEN, on my 3rd fill I had RESTRICTION OVERLOAD!! Literally, I couldn't eat ANYTHING without feeling like it was getting stuck and throwing it back up. So, the only things I could eat without getting sick were slider foods..BAD BAD BAD. I knew I needed an unfill.

I decided to get a complete unfill because of the major discomfort and a long vacation planned. The second I got unfilled, I felt FANTASTIC!!! I could eat the foods I SHOULD be eating without any fear at all (chicken, turkey, broccoli, etc). My family didn't have to watch with wide wonder when I ate to see if I was going to throw up; life was GREAT!

My unfill was in the middle of May. Since then I have religiously kept up my exercise program and eating generally what I should. I haven't gained a single pound since then, BUT have lost inches and look better! Problem is, my HEAD!! I'm not seeing the pounds on the scale and I am TERRIFIED to "fall off the wagon."

I scheduled a fill for next Friday (7/24) and am going to get 2cc's. I think 3cc's is my "sweet spot" because 3cc is where I had good restriction and didn't throw up constantly and 4cc is where I was miserable.

All this to say I am REALLY struggling with having the freedom to eat and drink what I choose (sometimes not the proper foods either) vs. battling "stuck" episodes and kick starting my weight loss again.

Am I making excuses for being able to eat "normally" and avoid getting "back on the wagon" or is wanting to eat without fear my true motivation? I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that I LOVE how I look and feel right now, but I am only "technically" half way to my goal. I don't want to get so comfortable at the size I am right now and without even knowing it, get on the scale to find I'm 10lbs heavier; that terrifies me. The odd thing is, even though the scale says I haven't lost (or gained) people are finally noticing my weight loss! Literally every day someone says something to the affect of how much I've lost. In fact, a close co-worker told me, and I quote "you're withering away to practically nothing!" I could live happily on that comment for years

I have been losing inches too, I can tell in my clothes, and by people's reaction. But that DARN scale foils my happiness and messes with my head!

I scheduled an appointment with a counselor to help me with this mental struggle. I guess that is the reason I chose the band over the bypass, so that in these situations I could fill or unfill as necessary.

Anyone have any advice or feel similarly? Sorry so long, thanks for your commentS!:wub:

[justmel1957 1]

It really sounds like you are doing pretty well, its just the brain is messing with you! As for me, I know myself and I KNOW that I can get obsessed with the scale, so I rarely weigh myself. I judge by my clothes, and how I feel. I will get on the scale every month or so to check in or whenever I feel I might be falling off the wagon a bit. Just to see where I am.

Its easy for me to say, but if you are doing fine with the amount of fill or unfill you have, I wouldn't mess with it too much. I personally think that if you can do without it, do it. When you need a fill, and the help, make an appointment.

It's all a crazy journey, isn't it?

We are all different, but the way you are describing your situation, it looks like you are doing everything right now and on your way to success. If you are losing inches, and your clothing sizes are going down, then you're on your way. The number game is certainly important, but its not the only way (weigh-lol) to measure success!

[emjay 8]

I am curious why your physician gave you another fill when you were losing 2 lbs a week after your second fill? You mentioned that you had good restriction and you seemed to be losing the amount of weight that is suggested, but I'm not sure why your doc increased your fill level with the great results you were having.

I was scheduled on 06/27 for my fourth fill and met with my surgeon. We went over my progress and my food choices and he was pleased with my weight loss of about 2 lbs/week so he recommended no fill. I was glad because I too was going on vacation and did not have any pb'ing or sliming issues as of yet. When I do what I'm supposed to do - my weight continued to decline.

If I were in your situation, and your concerned about having the same issues as before, I would suggest to the doc to only do a small fill. It may help keep the scale moving in the right direction but avoid all the negative side effects that can happen.

Best of luck to you!

[coloradobanding 5]

I am curious why your physician gave you another fill when you were losing 2 lbs a week after your second fill? You mentioned that you had good restriction and you seemed to be losing the amount of weight that is suggested, but I'm not sure why your doc increased your fill level with the great results you were having.

I was scheduled on 06/27 for my fourth fill and met with my surgeon. We went over my progress and my food choices and he was pleased with my weight loss of about 2 lbs/week so he recommended no fill. I was glad because I too was going on vacation and did not have any pb'ing or sliming issues as of yet. When I do what I'm supposed to do - my weight continued to decline.

If I were in your situation, and your concerned about having the same issues as before, I would suggest to the doc to only do a small fill. It may help keep the scale moving in the right direction but avoid all the negative side effects that can happen.

Best of luck to you!

That's a great question! We reviewed my progress and he thought I was ahead of the curve with my exercise and eating, etc.

Now that I think about it, I just thought that was what I was suppose to do! I hear everyone talk about the "sweet spot" and I wasn't sure if that was mine or not. In some ways it seemed like it was, but I read so many other people describing it and made me wonder if I had really "hit it" or not.

I also realize that I NEED to stop weighing my successes by comparing it to others! That is a HUGE head game with me and one of the reasons I stayed off these boards for awhile.

I found that by NOT reading someone who has lost more than me in a less amount of time, allowed me to focus on my personal success and not judge it by others. I did this because I chose a different method of using the band as a tool that was working for my lifestyle. YES I wasn't losing as fast, but I also wasn't throwing up everytime I took a bite of chicken or when I took a drink of Water too fast.

I thought I had to give up in one area to gain (not literally) in another; which is and has been a struggle.

Thanks for the post and making me think about that; I honestly hadn't before!

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

The only time I seem to notice the scale go down is when I pause a day from exercising. Otherwise, it seems that I am loosing the inches and gaining lean muscle.

Your description of your family watching and wondering while you eat is very familiar to me. I experience the exact same thing. I struggle to eat chicken, turkey and broccoli because they get stuck most of the time.

I wouldn't worry too much about the scale if I were you. Just keep doing what you are suppose to do and the pounds will come off.

Banded 4/17/09

First fill 5/30/09 1.6cc

Second fill 7/10/09 .6cc

[Chiefs50 0]

Keep up the good work,

I'm a newbie being banded on 6/25/09 and my first fill tomorrow and have limited experience. However, isn't this a bit of a journey where you kind of have to experiment or "tweak" the band to find the "sweet spot." Sounds like you have been working hard and have done some experimentation and held your own. Congratulations on your success and continued success and YOU control your mind...