Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

This is funny!



Recommended Posts

Worth reading for the last couple lines.....

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated

the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and

red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy

lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream

and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And

Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some

sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure

that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the

wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from

size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented

Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side.

And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil

in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and

chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained

more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel food Cake,"

And said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it

"Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose

those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so

Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman

laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming

with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the

starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and

still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent

double cheeseburger. Then said, "You want fries with that?"

And Man replied, "Yes!And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is

good."

And Man went into cardiac arrest. God sighed and created quadruple

bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs.

Thought for the day ......

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today

Than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a

large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely

no recollection of what to do with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      Gearing up for my consult 01/14! Starting to get a little nervous.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Goyafigs

      I had VSG 11.20.24 with Miguel Burch, MD Cedars-Sinai and I am 1 month post-op. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • DaisyChainOz

      🥳 Jan 1 2025 - Day 1 of Pre Op, surgery on the 16th! 😬😅
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      Just been waiting until time for my consult with my bariatric surgeon. It's scheduled for Jan 9th. Turns out I won't actually be seeing him. Apparently it'll be with his P.A.             Not sure what to expect. I thought this is where the surgeon would discuss the best surgery option for me. For years I had my heart set on the sleeve, but I've read so many people have issues with reflux - even if they've never had it before - that they've had to be revised to the bypass. I already deal with GERD & take 40 mg of Omeprazole daily, so I started studying about bypass and honestly, it seems like it might be the better choice for me. How can we discuss surgery options if the surgeon is not there?
      What happened at your first consult? Trying to get an idea of what to expect, or maybe I should say, what NOT to expect.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • rinabobina

      I would like to know what questions you wish you had asked prior to your duodenal switch surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×