Should i have lied??????

[Cleo's Mom 257]

the only reason i worry about telling her how great she looks at this point...is she is the definition of "unmotivated"...u literally have to make her do everything in life...i'm afraid if i make a big deal of what she has lost ....she'll feel its enuff and stop...she is still at an unhealthy weight...its kind of a lose...lose situation...she does not eat healthy at all nor exercise...i don't want her to go to town with food ....thinking she is finished...

I suspect your friend knows exactly how much weight she has lost and what she looks like. She is just looking for someone to give her a small amount of support. No one suggested that you tell her how great she looks or make a big deal about her weight loss. Just a "keep up the good work" would suffice. As far as "you literally have to make her do everything in life" - it is her job, not yours, to make herself do what she has to do in life, including how she is going to be successful (or fail) with her WLS.

[Nanook 2]

How often do you see your friend? Maybe where she's lost it you don't see it. If she is your friend you should be supportive of her. If she had RNY 3 months ago I'd think at her size she would have lost 60 lbs by now. Everyone shows their loss differently.

[coloradobanding 5]

You can be encouraging and not feel like you're lying, it's all in the delivery.

Something along the lines like "Great job, keep up the good work" or countless other things.

I totally agree with being able to see weight loss on people (or not sometimes as with this case). I lost 35lbs before anyone noticed, and I only have a total of 100lbs to lose (I say only like it's 2lbs right?..lol).

I could tell in my pants, in my face, in everything I did, but no one else could, or if they did, they didn't say anything.

ALWAYS be supportive of friends/family when they're conquering demons. Even though their successes may not be physically obvious, the more important emotional ones need nurturing.

[mominkansas 2]

I don't yet but I am sure I will be soon at the rate that you are losing!

[Iris_L 0]

the only reason i worry about telling her how great she looks at this point...is she is the definition of "unmotivated"...u literally have to make her do everything in life...i'm afraid if i make a big deal of what she has lost ....she'll feel its enuff and stop...she is still at an unhealthy weight...its kind of a lose...lose situation...she does not eat healthy at all nor exercise...i don't want her to go to town with food ....thinking she is finished...

Unnecessary drama. Let your friend do what she does and be honest, if that is truly your friend. Whether she looks like she lost the weight or not shouldn't matter, but I know honesty matters in a friendship. If she says she lost the weight trust that.

[cookiebaby 0]

Okay, stab in the dark. Maybe if she lost the weight super quickly, it takes a while for her body to adjust. Does that make any sense at all? Things need to tighten up a bit?

I agree - just tell her congratulations, that's great, blah blah blah. You can also say "you look different" because you really thought she was different - even though it wasn't exactly the different she was looking for.