Did you tell people???

[tuckygirl 0]

I am just starting out in my journey but have planned to not share that I am having Lap-band surgery. I am only telling my family and a few close friends. Several people I work with have made negative comments about weight loss surgery and how it is cheating. I just don't feel like I need to share my story with them. Did you tell co-workers and friends?

[greytz 4]

I only told my family and a couple of very close friends I knew I would need for support. Negative people to me are a hinderance to your journey and it is none of their business.

[Juniper 0]

I have only told my family. And all the doctors and nurses, of course. :ohmy:

I've lost weight before, only to gain it all back, plus some, so I decided to keep my band to myself, I guess on the off chance it didn't work for me. Plus, I really don't want to have it be a topic of conversation at work, and have people "watching" to see how much I lose how quickly.

I've had the feelings myself that the band was the "easy way out", and I've had to deal with those feelings, so I don't feel like taking on anyone else's issues to work through about it, either. It's my time to focus on me, and I get enough support from my family, my doctors, and of course all the great folks here going through the same experiences with me. :confused:

[WaistBand 0]

My husband and kids know I'm having it done; I may tell my sisters, too, when the subject comes up. But no, I'm not going out of my way to share.

[Bunz1969 4]

I am just starting my journey as well, banding scheduled for 7/21. I made the mistake of telling a couple of people who I thought would be supportive and at least say "well, good for you!". Instead I got - "Oh wow." Oh wow?? That's all you've got? LOL So at the advice of my hubby, I am now only sharing with those that ask or are very close to me.

[melmarlem 0]

I haven't had surgery yet. I'm scheduled for August 18th. I have decided to tell all of my family, my closest friends, and all of my co-workers. Originally I had decided to not tell anyone at work. However, I work in a very small doctor's office and decided that instead of having my co-workers discuss my weight behind my back, I told them, so they could discuss it to my face. There are always going to be negative people who think that what we are doing is "cheating". But what a better way to educate them and proove to them what this is really all about...it's about hard work and determination. It most certainly is not taking the easy way out!! :frown: Good luck!

[HappyHour54 0]

I am having surgery on July 20.I have only told 3 people.I don't want to hear advise from my friends,none of which struggle with weight.I have to go to a family function on Aug7.I am nervous about what to say why I am not eating or drinking.Any ideas???

[als74 1]

Personally, I told everyone. I don't care if they think it is cheating or not. Hip replacement, nose jobs, smokers patch, heart bi-pass, stints, high healed shoes- all tools- all "cheating." Anyone who criticizes you for cheating IS a TOOL. Why would they care HOW we got healthy, as long as we get there. What kind of people are they? I would NEVER wish someone to be unhealthy. You know these are the same people who talk about how much we eat and how fat we are behind our backs- so let them talk about how we "cheated" to lose weight on their cigg break. Do none of them take birth control as a tool to not get pregnant? What is a matter, can't they "control" themselved enough to not get pregnant? Meds for depression? Think of all the tools people use to replace things they can't or won't fix themselves. So what if it is "cheating" by their terms. Don't look at that term so negatively. When you are healthy and looking good, you won't care what other people think.

Sorry, I just feel very strongly on this issue. Losing weight is hard work, no matter WHAT you do. Please don't let others opinion of how you did it affect you. Next thing you know they will say exercise is cheating for those who eat more cals then they would burn in a day naturally (lol)!

[als74 1]

I am having surgery on July 20.I have only told 3 people.I don't want to hear advise from my friends,none of which struggle with weight.I have to go to a family function on Aug7.I am nervous about what to say why I am not eating or drinking.Any ideas???

When people don't know I have had the surgery, and ask me things like that, I look them straight in the eye and tell them I am fat and don't need it. It makes them so uncomfortable they leave me alone. It is mean, I know, but it works.

Sorry, I forget not everyone has a big mouth like I do. For those who aren't rude, tell them your aren't hungry or thirsty. Take a bottle of Water with you and sip on it very slowly. They will never know. I once put Protein Water in a pop bottle. No one knew the difference:)

Edited July 12, 2009 by als74

[melmarlem 0]

Oh my gosh, Als74, you just made my day! You are hilarious! hahaha :frown: You couldn't be more right about the band being a "tool" and "cheating". I never looked at the situation quite like that before Thanks for posting.

[tuckygirl 0]

Thanks for all the replies!! So great to know I'm not the only one who has these issues. I have my first appt. with the surgeon next week to start my 6 month's. I am so excited and all of the encouraging things I have read on here really help!

[queenlil09 1]

At first, I only told my family and a few really close friends. Over the years, other people/friends have found out, but I don't make it a point of discussing it. Thankfully, I haven't really had a problem with friends being negative about it. I guess I've found out that I have really good, supportive friends. It's awkward when I see people though who I haven't seen in a long time and they ask about my weight loss. Depending on who it is, I tend to try to avoid the subject because I'd rather not get into a discussion about it with someone I don't know that well. Sometimes if asked I just say, "Oh, a lot of hard work" and then try to change the subject.

I'm getting ready to move to a new city where I don't know a lot of people, so it'll be nice not running into people I used to know and having people around me who didn't know me before my surgery :-).

[tlhamilton 0]

I have told everyone.....not ashamed that I needed help in losing the weight, plus most have been very helpful and encouraging.

[SummerAgain 0]

I have told my husband (obviously), my kids, 2 friends and everyone at work. I also work at a doctors office and I'm a patient there as well so my charts right on the wall for anyone to see.

[ocotillo 0]

Melmarlem "However, I work in a very small doctor's office and decided that instead of having my co-workers discuss my weight behind my back, I told them, so they could discuss it to my face. There are always going to be negative people who think that what we are doing is "cheating". But what a better way to educate them and proove to them what this is really all about...it's about hard work and determination. It most certainly is not taking the easy way out!! :)"

What wise words! Education is the part of the answer, that's for sure. I'm just not ready to tell the folks in the office (besides my boss) because of the scrutiny. I will eventually, just not yet. I'm not quite part of the group (and probably never will be) and there so many other things those people need to discuss, not what I'm putting in my mouth.

Happyhour, als74 has a good response but I was at a wedding yesterday and my friend tried to get me to eat cake and I just told her I'm still on a liquid diet. This friend is from work and she knows I was doing a sort of liquid diet (pre-op). She's wondering but I'm just telling her I'm under a nutritionist supervision and this is what I'm doing to start my weigh loss. I really like als74's answer.....I'm fat, I don't need to eat.

Als74, I like your attitude. I really have to work at not being rude as much as I would like to be. Most people just don't respond positively when you're rude to them.

Queenlil, great job on the weight loss. WoW:thumbup: