Did you tell people???

[hopeandhealing 0]

I am having surgery in a few weeks. I have made the decision to only tell my daughters and my husband. From other things I have gone through in my life, I have found out the hard way that they are truly the only ones who have my best interest at heart. I am "thin skinned" and hate meanness from others. Therefore, I am seeing not telling others as an act of self love.

However I too have a family event in August and will still be on liquids only and have been struggling with what to say. My daughter said just tell them you had hernia surgery and although it was relatively minor surgery and you are doing well, your dr. wants you on a liquid diet for a few weeks until you heal completely. And then change the subject. I hope it works.

Above all, be kind to You. Dyanna:grouphug:

[tamkin65 0]

I told all of my family, friends, and coworkers. I don't make it a secret at all. I eat lunch with several coworkers though and felt the need to tell them. They do get a kick out of my lunches. Some of them have told me they didn't know you could buy bowls as small as I use. Everyone has been very supportive to my face. However....they sometimes drive me crazy because every time they see me they ask how much I've lost.

[futurbander2007 24]

I made the decision not to tell people. I told my mom and my sister but that's it. I had my surgery a year and half ago and I have had terrific success. It has actually helped me to not tell people. I had slow weight loss at first and i didn't need to hear that I was going to fail at another thing. I had the support that I needed and I didn't feel that it was anyones business what I did to lose weight. I personally didn't need the support or negative remarks from people who wouldn't understand it. I am happy about my decision, even today I don't broadcast that I had surgery. I know everyone is different in how they feel about their journey, some need all the support from everyone around them and some, such as myself, didn't need or want it. Good luck and best wishes to all of you!!

[pvchickie 0]

you might ask yourself these things in my opinion

A) Why wouldn't I want to tell? am I ashamed of having the surgery?

Are the opinions of negative/unsupportive people really important to me?

C) Do I ever want the stigma of weight loss surgery to be less......do I want to help educate others about obesity and ways to help it?

For me it was a matter of........I will not be ashamed of having surgery.......I did this surgery to get better......yes, it's maybe not the way some folks would havee done it but, it is the way I chose.

Now, the topic rarely comes up anymore (i was banded back in 07) but when I first had surgery I told people and got nothing, nothing but support and encouragement. Now, maybe some talked behind my back and said "i'd of never done that" but, I never heard one negative comment.

For those that do think weight loss surgery is the easy way out............they saw me.......they saw me struggle and fight for this just as anyone does who tries to lose weight. I thought it good first hand education for folks.

How do we expect people to ever understand if we keep it hidde. in in a closet........like we should be ashamed for having surgery

anyway, just my 2 cents

[Enchanted 2]

I only told the few people closest to me. I'm a private person, didn't want to answer lots of questions, be the topic of gossip, and . . . really, what if I'd done this and it didn't work? I didn't want everyone to know.

But...since it has worked, I've let others know. Some people think it's a cheat - they just don't know. No one has been critical.

My thought was....once told, I cannot untell anyone.

[WaistBand 0]

you might ask yourself these things in my opinion

A) Why wouldn't I want to tell? am I ashamed of having the surgery?

Are the opinions of negative/unsupportive people really important to me?

C) Do I ever want the stigma of weight loss surgery to be less......do I want to help educate others about obesity and ways to help it?

For me it was a matter of........I will not be ashamed of having surgery.......I did this surgery to get better......yes, it's maybe not the way some folks would havee done it but, it is the way I chose.

Now, the topic rarely comes up anymore (i was banded back in 07) but when I first had surgery I told people and got nothing, nothing but support and encouragement. Now, maybe some talked behind my back and said "i'd of never done that" but, I never heard one negative comment.

For those that do think weight loss surgery is the easy way out............they saw me.......they saw me struggle and fight for this just as anyone does who tries to lose weight. I thought it good first hand education for folks.

How do we expect people to ever understand if we keep it hidde. in in a closet........like we should be ashamed for having surgery

anyway, just my 2 cents

I have NO feelings regarding stigma of WLS--my decision to keep my surgery private has nothing to do with the misconceptions others have about the surgery. It has nothing to do with shame. It has to do with being kind to myself. And in order to do that, I feel the need for a little insulation from the criticisms of those who have used weight as a weapon against me. I simply do not wish to give them substitute ammunition.

I am all for education, but it's not my responsibility to make WLS okay in the minds of all others. My responsibility is to be the best person I can be. This means I will offer the information to those who ask, or who might benefit from it. I'm a former nurse; patient education is really important to me. But those intent on derailing my progress? Whose opinions will not change? They don't fall into that demographic. They don't need the info.

I'm taking care of MYSELF now--the naysayers really aren't on my radar.

[greytz 4]

I am not ashamed of being banded at all. It is not about that for me. I am proud of doing something to get healthy for myself and my family. My decision not to tell the whole world was because I don't feel it is necessary to open myself up to unnecessary criticism. Who you tell is a very private matter and only you can decide that. Some of us have nothing but supportive people in our lives and others of us have people in our lives that are not as supportive. I believe it is a very personal decision. I like this forum and appreciate everyone's opinion about things and I like sharing information. Sometimes if I get down, this forum helps keep me on track. Seminars and surgeons are for educating people.