Stuff I hate about being the big girl.

[cammafacation 0]

Hey everyone!

My name is Cammy, and here is some of the stuff I hate about being the big girl. Maybe you've experience the same things or maybe not. (I really hope not because people can be so mean) I just hate the disrespect sooooo much!!!! And when I talk to people they don't seem to understand. I'm hoping you guys will.

Stuff that happens to me:

-People moo at me or the old "oink, oink."

-I've been called the DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend).

-People laugh and point at me.

-I get told at stores that "we don't have anything for big people like you here! Please leave!" even when I'm just looking a jewlery.

-I get looked at differently

-I feel like I don't get respect from my bosses because they think I'm lazy.

-My family is embarressed by me (and aren't affraid to tell me) Especially if I'm in a bathing suit

-No one sits beside me on the bus/train/any public place

-Perfect Strangers approach me asking what I'm doing about my weight! (HELLO!!! NONE of your business)

-Where I buy cloth, at the cash, there is flyers to lose weight and I tell the cashier all the time that it's so insulting!

-I have friends asking me what diet I am on now as a joke. Not funny!

-I always get told to stop eating cake or stop eating all the time. Actual quote: "If you actually put the fork down and stop eating cake you would lose weight" I hardly ever eat cake or any sweets.

I HATE IT!!!!

I GET MAD AND SAD ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT's INSANE HOW PEOPLE TREAT ME. :smile2:

I JUST WANT THE SAME RESPECT AS ANYONE ELSE!!!

IS THAT REALLY TO MUCH TO ASK???

I'm sorry guys! I hope I didn't freak you out. I'm not a mental case or anything... really!

And don't worry I don't think that all my problems will go away because of my weight, but I do know it will help a lot of them.

I'm really hoping that the lap band helps me.

I wish everyone here lots of luck and happiness!

Sincerely,

Cammy

Edited July 8, 2009 by cammafacation

[Guest freedom2009]

Hi Cammy,

I saw your pic today and what you wrote. You touched my heart so much. So I began reading your other posts, and just found this one. Listen to me, you sound like a wonderful person I would like to know. You are going to do great. You've got this far, you have a surgery date, you CAN do this!!!I am going to be banded 7/21.. I have found this site soooo helpful and encouraging. I have learned what to do and what not to do. I have learned what to expect, and not to get my expectations too high. This will be a slow process, but finally we have found a process that is going to work.... Truly I believe that, or I would not being doing this. I do know that this is a tool, not a miracle cure. It is something we have never had to help us stay away from that second helping, Portion Control, etc. You are a young woman with so much ahead of you. You are right, people can be cruel, and I am sorry you have had people treat you in this way. I am older, I am 60 years old. I have lived my entire life overweight, starting 2nd grade. I can remember in the 6th grade, we were going on a school field trip, we were to dress up. Of course when we went to buy a new dress, nothing fit. We bought the only one dress that did fit and I can remember it was awful. I have alot of painful memories from being overweight, and so much I have missed out on. I do have a wonderful loving husband, and 2 sons. I'm not saying I am over the hill, but what years I do have left, I want to make them count to the fullest. You do not want to be like me and live your entire adult life overweight. You have the opportunity of a lifetime here, to help you get your weight under control at an early age. Keep your faith in God and in yourself. Call upon him for your strength. These next few weeks are going to be hard, but I believe you can and will do it. Four months from now, we are going to say LOOK AT ME... I'm doing it and I feel great. You go girl....... Keep in touch, let me know how you are doing. People, I didn't mean for this to be so long, but Cammie touched my heart.

[cammafacation 0]

Thanks so much Freedoom!

Hopefully everything will work out for both of us very soon. :smile2:

[Cleo's Mom 257]

Hey everyone!

My name is Cammy, and here is some of the stuff I hate about being the big girl. Maybe you've experience the same things or maybe not. (I really hope not because people can be so mean) I just hate the disrespect sooooo much!!!! And when I talk to people they don't seem to understand. I'm hoping you guys will.

Stuff that happens to me:

-People moo at me or the old "oink, oink."

-I've been called the DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend).

-People laugh and point at me.

-I get told at stores that "we don't have anything for big people like you here! Please leave!" even when I'm just looking a jewlery.

-I get looked at differently

-I feel like I don't get respect from my bosses because they think I'm lazy.

-My family is embarressed by me (and aren't affraid to tell me) Especially if I'm in a bathing suit

-No one sits beside me on the bus/train/any public place

-Perfect Strangers approach me asking what I'm doing about my weight! (HELLO!!! NONE of your business)

-Where I buy cloth, at the cash, there is flyers to lose weight and I tell the cashier all the time that it's so insulting!

-I have friends asking me what diet I am on now as a joke. Not funny!

-I always get told to stop eating cake or stop eating all the time. Actual quote: "If you actually put the fork down and stop eating cake you would lose weight" I hardly ever eat cake or any sweets.

I HATE IT!!!!

I GET MAD AND SAD ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IT's INSANE HOW PEOPLE TREAT ME. :smile2:

I JUST WANT THE SAME RESPECT AS ANYONE ELSE!!!

IS THAT REALLY TO MUCH TO ASK???

I'm sorry guys! I hope I didn't freak you out. I'm not a mental case or anything... really!

And don't worry I don't think that all my problems will go away because of my weight, but I do know it will help a lot of them.

I'm really hoping that the lap band helps me.

I wish everyone here lots of luck and happiness!

Sincerely,

Cammy

Cammy;

Regardless of your weight you have the right to be treated with respect. And anyone who would make any type of insulting remark about your weight is NOT your friend. Please don't consider them as such. You need to lose them along with the weight (after banding). Do not socialize with anyone who refers to you as a DUFF.

When shopping in stores do NOT under any circumstances accept being treated rudely about your weight or anything. If you are looking at jewelry and a comment is made about not carrying your size, ask to speak to the manager. While you cannot control what strangers yell at you as you walk down the street, you can speak up for yourself when you are a paying customer.

When perfect strangers approach you and ask what you are doing about your weight ask them what they are doing about their rude behavior and tell them Miss Manners has just come out with a new book that they might want to purchase.

If you are doing your job at work you shouldn't be treated any differently than anyone else. If you sense you are, talk to your boss in private.

I guess the fact that I am 58 and have been through a lot in my life, I don't put up with any crap from anyone. I do not hesitate to confront. You're young yet, so I understand it is harder to be assertive. But try it. You'll get more confident each time.

Good luck to you on your lapband journey. I think you will do well.

[daqui26 4]

well said freedom, i feel as if you were talking to me too

[Bino 44]

Congratulations on getting your surgery date...it is the same date as my cousin and I'm so excited for her.

You'll do great! I'm nine months post-op and it's going slow, but it is going and I feel really good...I can actually bend over and touch my toes :smile2:

[HolliJ 24]

It's crazy for me to see people talk about all these horrible experiences they've had with people in response to their weight. I've never experienced any of those things. No one has ever yelled out at me, I don't notice that anyone treats me differently (or if they do, it's not enough for me to give a shit), and no one really acts like I'm big at all.

And I am. I'm 260lbs. I think the only times people have pointed out my weight was when people I knew were "trying" to hurt my feelings (like in a fight or something). Although it typically came from someone bigger or as big as me, so it was almost laughable. Actually, no matter who it came from, it was almost laughable. I think it's funny how someone tries to insult me on something that is so obvious and cliché. Seriously? Of all the things you can say to hurt my feelings, calling me fat is probably the least likely to bother me.

Maybe I don't notice these things or people don't treat me that way because I give off the impression that I won't stand for it. I may not be confident about my looks, but I'm confident about who I am as a person. And I'm more than willing to respond to someone that is rude to me. I will NOT allow someone to treat me as if I am lower and undeserving of respect because I'm heavy. I will not allow someone to treat me poorly for ANY reason, actually.

Plus, people who try to bring others down by insulting them are not worth my time. I find these people to be pretty damn pathetic and sad. That just tells you that they must not have a lot going for them if they have to get their kicks or feel better about themselves by attempting to hurt others. I'm more likely to laugh in their face. That'll get them really pissed, lmao.