Sound familiar?

[melmarlem 0]

So, I'm sure all of you can relate to having something like this happen to you... I'm currently in my senior year of nursing school. I've chosen to be a cardiac nurse, and so my instructor was kind enough to send me to the cardiac cath lab for the day to observe as a student nurse. I was so excited to go! I love everything to do with the heart and was thrilled to get to see anigoplasties and what not.

Well, I'm 5'5" and 260lbs, obviously not in the best shape. To make a long story short, everyone in the heart cath lab was in remarkable shape. Including the RN's, the surgeon, the techs, etc. I felt sooo out of place, but didn't let it get to me until.....the male RN had the NERVE to make fun of obese people in my presence, and in the presence of the obese patient being worked on. My fellow student nurse is from Kenya, and the RN asked him while laughing "I bet they don't have an obesity problem in Kenya?". He kept on, making jokes about how fat people should just eat turkey sandwiches instead of cheeseburgers. It was all I could do to keep from running out in tears. The surgeon was no better, he rolled his eyes in disgust as another obese person was wheeled into the room. I just thought it was really ironic that a man that operates on hearts could be so heartless himself! So much for caring and empathetic nurses!!:smile2:

Thankfully I am being "banded" soon. I will never forget their faces, and in due time I will run into them again...next time much healthier. I plan on reminding them of how they made me feel....

[wootsie73 0]

So, I'm sure all of you can relate to having something like this happen to you... I'm currently in my senior year of nursing school. I've chosen to be a cardiac nurse, and so my instructor was kind enough to send me to the cardiac cath lab for the day to observe as a student nurse. I was so excited to go! I love everything to do with the heart and was thrilled to get to see anigoplasties and what not.

Well, I'm 5'5" and 260lbs, obviously not in the best shape. To make a long story short, everyone in the heart cath lab was in remarkable shape. Including the RN's, the surgeon, the techs, etc. I felt sooo out of place, but didn't let it get to me until.....the male RN had the NERVE to make fun of obese people in my presence, and in the presence of the obese patient being worked on. My fellow student nurse is from Kenya, and the RN asked him while laughing "I bet they don't have an obesity problem in Kenya?". He kept on, making jokes about how fat people should just eat turkey sandwiches instead of cheeseburgers. It was all I could do to keep from running out in tears. The surgeon was no better, he rolled his eyes in disgust as another obese person was wheeled into the room. I just thought it was really ironic that a man that operates on hearts could be so heartless himself! So much for caring and empathetic nurses!!:smile2:

Thankfully I am being "banded" soon. I will never forget their faces, and in due time I will run into them again...next time much healthier. I plan on reminding them of how they made me feel....

Boy can I relate to what you went through. I'm an RN myself and have always worked in cardiac. I haven't had very much said from my fellow nurses, at least not that I could hear, but I've heard it from some of the docs. I haven't heard nearly as much about myself as the patients. We once had a patient who weighed over 600 lbs who had a fistula that needed repairing, and the doc literally said he was disgusted to have to even try to find it, right in front of the patient. He was extremely rude to her and eventually just tore his gloves off and left the room, looking like a total a@$. Anyway, try not to let them intimidate you at this point. I was intimidated by doctors when I was in nursing school many moons ago, and I never really got over it. I'm disabled now, but I let some docs intimidate me for years. They are not worth it, and they are not God, as they tend to think they are. As far as the other nurses, try not to give them the satisfaction of knowing they bothered you. They are just rude and inconsiderate. They think they are better than you, because you are a student, but remind them when you become an RN that they were students at 1 time to.

The best thing I can tell you about this is to never forget it. Every time you have an obese patient or co-worker, remember how you felt and never treat them the way you were treated. Of course, that will have to include student nurses to. You know how scary all of it is now, and try to remember that with the ones you will help teach.

Joan

[greytz 4]

What goes around comes around believe me it does. I my younger and much thinner days, I had a car accident and fracture my spine and compressed several discs. Needless to say it was very painful. I went to a doctor who was just like what you described only regarding my back and exercising. I tried to explain how much pain I was in an he dismissed me by saying I weighed to much and I need to get some exercise in a very rude way and when I was checking out, I heard him tell his male assistant "Can you believe that chick? What does she expect me to do with her fat self?". I found out a few months later that the weekend after he saw me, he was in a skiing accident and fractured his spine and compressed his discs much the way I had only worse. I inquired to the nurse about him when I went to see another doctor in the practice and she said he was in horrible pain and would not be able to work for several months and she just didn't know how he was going to be able to make it. I felt bad for him and said a little prayer but all the while I couldn't help but feel there was a message in there somewhere. I hope he learned it.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Perhaps they didn't see you as being all that fat? You know we are usually our own worst enemies...

OR you could come here to San Antonio. I had my cardiac cath lab rotation when I weighed about 380 and I can tell you the guys there (docs and RN's and techs) were all the nicest people anywhere. They let me go in and watch, the showed me how they program things, a doc let me observe VERY close up and took time to tell me each thing he was doing...and never a glance, raised eyebrow, etc. I know people can be nasty, but maybe they were at ease with you because they didn't think you were "fat". Just a different perspective.

[rcruz 0]

Perhaps they didn't see you as being all that fat? You know we are usually our own worst enemies...

OR you could come here to San Antonio. I had my cardiac cath lab rotation when I weighed about 380 and I can tell you the guys there (docs and RN's and techs) were all the nicest people anywhere. They let me go in and watch, the showed me how they program things, a doc let me observe VERY close up and took time to tell me each thing he was doing...and never a glance, raised eyebrow, etc. I know people can be nasty, but maybe they were at ease with you because they didn't think you were "fat". Just a different perspective.

Regardless if they thought she was "fat" or not holding a position like that is very important not to discriminate in no shape or form. Your not always goign to work on PERFECT people, we come in all shpaes and sizes remember?!?!?! Ugh makes me so mad!

[RestlessMonkey 7]

My point is...that was one person. She said "So much for caring and empathetic nurses"...I resent being painted with the same brush as he. And did she stand up for obese people? Did she say "I don't think you should talk that way?"

I am sure that what she heard was hurtful, and maybe the guy did mean to be hateful to her. I don't know her. I don't know him. But as the saying goes (and I'm paraphrasing cuz I don't remember it exactly) All it takes for evil to thrive is for good men to stand and do nothing.

If you don't like it when someone picks on someone else, speak up.

Sorry she was hurt, and nothing good came of it.

[melmarlem 0]

I agree with you, RestlessMonkey. I definitely can be my own worst enemy. When I look in the mirror, I see someone who is "huge" and I assume everyone else sees me the same way.

I definitely did not intend to offend you or other nurses by painting all nurses with the same brush as he. When I said, "So much for caring and empathetic nurses", I only meant to point out that he is lacking in characteristics that most other nurses exhibit. In fact, he is the only nurse that I have come across that has acted the way he did.

"If you don't like it when someone picks on someone else, speak up!", that can be easier said than done in a positioin like I was. I was a guest nursing student in the cath lab, meaning I had been invited. I didn't think that it was the appropriate time to speak up, as doing so could have jeapordized future students being invited to the cath lab. Also, I am a 20 something year old female nursing student and the RN was a 40 something year old male and the surgeon was a 50 something year old male. Kind of intimidating for a female nursing student to stand up to two older males, one being a nurse with 20+ years in nursing, and the other a well-known physician. I guess at the time I was trying not to give them the satisfaction of knowing that they had bothered me, as "wootsie73" had suggested.

I applaud people who could've had the courage to stand up to them.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I was a 53 year old obese RN guest in my cath lab....I just graduated with my BSN so I understand. But you can speak up without being offensive and being a guest doesn't mean you should tolerate rudeness. THAT is something they try to teach us, too! Have you been through "management" yet?

I AM sorry that you were offended, but maybe next time you can say "WHOA dude you need an attitude adjustment" or whatever. Further I can think that if a bunch of their cardiac patients ARE obese (and it is way more common for "fat" people to have heart trouble, as we all know) then maybe they get frustrated being unable to "fix" it. Medicine is about healing, fixing, making well (for the most part) and when you have nothing to offer the obese patient except "quit eating the wrong foods" I can see how it would wear on you. They need a change of venue, an attitude adjustment, it sounds to me, much in the same way that working with cancer patients or in hospice can take a toll. Not excusing them, you understand. We are professionals and must act that way...but you don't get off the hook just because you are a "guest". WHile it isn't your place necessarily to raise the rude RN, if something bothers you enough that you feel the need to post it on a board like this, then it must have been onerous and saying something WAS called for.

In my experience nursing is a field with a good chunk of overweight people anyway. I've found mostly professionalism and acceptance, but maybe I give off a "don't stick your foot in your mouth around me" vibe! :frown:

The VERY few times I have encountered unprofessional behavior, a comment or two usually gets everyone back on track.

I'm proud of my profession, and sad when someone acts like the RN you described, and sad when someone like you won't speak up; if not for yourself, then the patient. You are a patient advocate too. Hopefully next time you'll feel empowered enough to say something. To me, it's part of your job.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

What an a**. I have a co-worker who has made comments about this lady who works in another department who is overweight. It ticks me off. She is a supervisor and really shouldn't be talking that way about people. It really makes me wonder what she says about me behind my back ya know? I don't know who she thinks she is to sit there and judge people about their weight. People like that we have to write off as being ignorant and move on. It's not worth our time. They are always going to be ignorant.

[NurseMelly 0]

I'm sorry to hear that this happened but I'm gonna let you in on a little secret...Nurses are people just like everybody else. There are going to be nice ones, mean ones, ugly ones, pretty ones, smart ones, dumb ones, etc. You get my drift. Just being a nurse doesn't suddenly make you this awesome giving angel of mercy. I kind of hate when people think that nurses should be without fault (you didn't say this, another poster hinted at that mentality).

Next time, I would say something. You will have to stand up for yourself as a nurse. Trust me. Doctors and even other nurses will try you in front of other people and you have to speak up for yourself, or they think it's ok to treat you poorly. I think good nurses have to have a little bit of a thick skin to handle the stress that comes with the job. Good luck to you in nursing school and beyond graduation!

[Jachut 487]

You know, whilst on a level I absolutely agree with you on how offensive and wrong this sort of thing is, it really amazes me how people cant see and underswtand why this happens.

Its called abjectification - as human's we tend to abjectify things like bodily products - we react in dusgust to blood, vomit, etc - disease, the other (other races, disabled or retarded peple, homosexuality, femininity) and we most certainly do it with obesity. Its a deep part of our psyche to react this way.

If we didnt have it OURSELVES as obese people, we wouldnt have motivation to loose weight. None of us truly look at our obese bodies and feel no disgust, even if its not on a conscious level. None of us dont feel in some space deep inside as if we're not the abject, the thing that induces disgust. Looking at yourself in despair thinking "I've got to do something about this" is absolutely accepting the fact that you know how others will view you, you know exactly what the obesity signals to other people and that's why you want to change. Health reasons are there, yes, and not everyone wants to get to be model thin either but ALL of us want to change enough to not be "abject" anymore.

People get a lot more flowery about this, I've got some seriously weird essays on this stuff from doing a literature major as part of a teachign degree. However, these theories were supported by people such as Freud and Lacan, they're well known and accepted. Its an entirely human and deep seated reaction to abjectify obesity in this manner, same as we would all do if we were presented with a rotting corpse.

That's no excuse, people have to learn to deal with corpses in some jobs, disease in others, bodily fluids too. And we can CERTAINLY learn to deal with obesity in an considerate and empathetic manner. But that deep rooted response is quite deeply entrenched on our psychological make up. Its not only ignorant people that feel it and its not only thin people that feel it.

Obesity isnt a simple case of fatness as we would like it to be - it IS a disease that deforms our bodies and challenges our mental construction of humanity and we respond to it as such.

Thankfully human beings are *usually* evolved enough to be aware of the way our own minds work and retrain them to work in a more morally and socially acceptable way, unlike your colleagues!

Edited July 7, 2009 by Jachut

[maryrose 2]

I work in radiology, and often times the radiologists would make comments about the patient needing to lose weight and no wonder their back hurt when they needed a STAT MRI. They were just pissy because they had to come back in at night to read a film and do an injection.

My doctor used to say hurtful things all the time. I often felt like saying, jee, wouldn't it be nice if ALL your patients were thin and healthy, that way you could stay home and have NO patients!!!! That same doctor did not want me to get the band initially. I see the nurse practitioner now and like to gloat when I walk past her now. She did say I looked look and "make sure you exercise and not put that weight back on". Unreal. :biggrin:

[rcruz 0]

I kind of hate when people think that nurses should be without fault (you didn't say this, another poster hinted at that mentality).

If your referring to me let me explain myself I don't think nurses should be looked at without fault I know they aren't perfect and are only human just like anyone other I understand that I was just thinking out loud along the lines of "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" and with the position they hold well I feel they should be able to hold back with their comments.