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Does anyone feel like life with the band is too hard?



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Hi, Lindsay! I agree with the people who said that this is a normal part of the process for a lot of people. They don't call it Bandster "Hell" for no reason!

Just give it some time and do your best to embrace the changes and make them enjoyable. The food thing doesn't have to be torturesome -- it's all about quality vs quantity. So, plan to eat things you really love that aren't crazy fattening. For me, that involved making a bunch of delicious Soups and freezing them in individual containers to get me through lunch at work during the winter (I have a few recipes on my blog that are really yummy, especially the mexican chicken Soup with cheese).

Don't stress too much about exercise. You don't have to be perfect right now. I mean, it's great if you can get that in, too, but if you can only deal with one big change right now, let that be the food one.

Honestly, I love my band. I don't find it to be a burden and, at 8 months post-op (and 47 lbs down), I find that the changes I've made have been so easy to make when compared with how amazing the related benefits have been.

I hope that helps! Hang in there. It will get better.

Catherine

Edited by Catherine55
Accidentally included original post!

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SueB55: I wish I could say "wait....it will get better" but having the removal is of course your choice.

But I do think if you could wait it out a while, it would level out.

I can remember being 4 weeks out, feeling "not so good" and struggling with what to eat, what not to eat, what to try, experiencing all the trials and errors in figuring out this thing.

But, now that I am 14 months post op-Im so glad I had it done.

Im at goal, and actually beyond that.

I would say it took me about 6 months to get comfortable with the band and all of the things that go along with it.

Good luck on whatever you decide............

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As far as I'm concerned, the only thing I've given up is the offer of a seat belt extender on planes, thighs that chafe in the heat, the nudges of other diners when I walk into a buffet restaurant, an inability to make my body move the way I need it to and the possible prospect of losing years off my life.

So as hard as it can be at times to make this change work, I am not going back and I WILL make this work so that my exterior finally reflects everything that I am inside.

Excellently put. Thank you, I will remember this post as I continue my journey. :tongue_smilie:

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Having the band will always have its challenges. You will always wonder if you did the right thing. I mean, I know I do all the time. I don't totally hate my decision though... I did lose over a hundred pounds. I did gain some back but I'm on my way back down again.

I think the one thing people don't really grasp when looking into getting the band is just how much you really have to put into losing. You still have to eat right, you still have to exercise, and you still have to remain positive to getting to your goal.

Having the band is not a miracle, and the only thing its going to do for you is control how much you intake. Then you can cheat the band, so that doesn't always work if you don't make it.

BEST OF LUCK! You can do it, you just have to put your mind into the game too.

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I understand it is a process and some people grieve. I've said to myself that I do miss food but then I realize I can still go have fun at restaurants with my friends and do almost everything I've done before but with some changes. Once you go through the process and learn some tricks to make it work with your lifestyle, you will come to terms. For me, it was getting off all three of my diabetes medicines. If I miss eating something, I think about how much healthier I am now and how much healthier I will be a month, six months, a year from now.

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Thanks everyone, for your words and advice. It's funny, when I mentioned my best friend in the original post, I did actually mean a person. But once I thought of it as food, it made a lot of sense too.

This is quite the journey. I'm trying to remember to trust it!

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I understand the best friend part.

i was banded on 6/9, one month ago yesterday. normally k and I would get together whether at her home or mine, just hang out. We have only done that once since surgery.

She has always said the surgery was not for her, and i respect that decision, I didn't tell her I was having it until it was approved, and scheduled, but it has just been strange.

I am living with her brother n law, so that is even stranger, as we all used to do things together alot. I was off work for 4 weeks after surgery, now back to work for a week, the time that we used to hang out on Fridays, I am working again, however the few times we have been together, she is the one that brings the surgery up, not me, I don't want to make her feel bad, or anything. The numbers aren't dropping much yet except in inches, not pounds, but I again, don't bring that up.

We have been friends for 15 years, and I did tell her before hand that my biggest fear is losing her friendship, she said that will never happen, but ...

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My boyfriend told me- "It took you months to get here, and you could have backed out a billion times before this- but you didn't- which means you know in your heart you're doing the right thing."!!

Wow, profound for a boyfriend, must be a good one. I know that helps, my wife and I had each other. Things are great if the economy would just turn around.

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Thanks everyone, for your words and advice. It's funny, when I mentioned my best friend in the original post, I did actually mean a person. But once I thought of it as food, it made a lot of sense too.

This is quite the journey. I'm trying to remember to trust it!

Thanks for clearing that up, I felt kinda dumb:redface: after it was pointed out to me that you might have meant food. I feel much better now. You sound a little more up beat. Hope it's getting better for you now. and just so you know , My best friend and I had a bit of trouble in the begining. She is also big and wasn't supportive. I think she was a little jealous And felt like if I lost the weight she would be left behind. But all is good now. You have a bright future ahead of you. Enjoy it, Because it gets better every day.:confused:

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Thanks everyone, for your words and advice. It's funny, when I mentioned my best friend in the original post, I did actually mean a person. But once I thought of it as food, it made a lot of sense too.

This is quite the journey. I'm trying to remember to trust it!

I find eating out with people so much more enjoyable, especially the yummy food part. The reason is that I have to take small bites and chew so much that I savor the flavor so much longer. The problem comes with everyone finishing long before me, but most will be patient or just have another drink or dessert while waiting. Some hope to finish my food too!!

It really does get easy and soon it will just be a way of life for you and you won't even think about it. It's all routine for me now and I can't even express how happy I am that I did it. My only regret is that I didn't do it at your age!! Then I wouldn't be suffering today with severe arthritis and spinal disease and I would have fit into sexy jeans when I was at a sexier age!!!!! Good luck to you. You will do great and you will be so happy you did it!!

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The problem comes with everyone finishing long before me, but most will be patient or just have another drink or dessert while waiting. Some hope to finish my food too!!!!

People really notice when I'm the last one done as I was always such a fast eater. I end up taking the rest home with me.

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I will have had my band for a month on the 5th. I've done excellent on my eating and pretty good on my working out up until last Saturday and Sunday. I tried to get back on track yesterday. I did okay, but didn't exercise.

I'm beginning to feel like life with the band is too hard. Finding the right things to eat, getting enough to eat, making time to exercise. It's making me very upset.

I get my first fill next week, and honestly I'm really scared about how I'm going to handle it.

My Mom recently asked me if I thought my band cost me too much. I asked her what she meant and she said "it seems you've lost your relationship with your best friend (which is likely true), and you're having to totally change what your eating and how you're living your life".

Up until now I was really loving my band and feeling really positive, but now I'm feeling really frustrated. Not to mention that last Thursday I supposedly gained 1.8 pounds back from the 9 I had lost - if that's even accurate.

Has anyone had a similar experience to this or can help me?

You are giving up your relationship with your best friend. But as someone else said, "She's a back-stabbing beotch." Nevertheless it's quite normal to grieve the loss of that friend, even if it was an abusive relationship. Use this time of adjusting to the band to work on your other issues--the ones that helped get you into that relationship in the first place, or that helped keep you there and are calling you back. That's what I'm doing in my blog: IF YOUR STOMACH OFFENDS YOU, TIE IT OFF

Keep posting and reading others posts. Start your own blog. You are not alone.

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    • BabySpoons

      Sometimes reading the posts here make me wonder if some people just weren't mentally ready for WLS and needed more time with the bariatric team psychiatrist. Complaining about the limited drink/food choices early on... blah..blah...blah. The living to eat mentality really needs to go and be replaced with eating to live. JS
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      1. Bypass2Freedom

        We have to remember that everyone moves at their own pace. For some it may be harder to adjust, people may have other factors at play that feed into the unhealthy relationship with food e.g. eating disorders, trauma. I'd hope those who you are referring to address this outside of this forum, with a professional.


        This is a place to feel safe to vent, seek advice, hopefully without judgement.


        Compassion goes a long way :)

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        Seems it would be more compassionate not to perform a WLS on someone until they are mentally ready for it. Unless of course they are on death's door...

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