Husband doesn't understand why I will be in pain!!

[talkalot1981 5]

OK, I was trying to explain to my husband why I will be in pain the first couple of days after surgery. He doesn't get it. I doesn't know why the band will hurt. He has watched the surgery with me online and still doesn't know why. I told him the port has to be stitched to my muscle, so he know why that might hurt but doesn't understand the rest. I don't know how to explain to him why. It is kind of upsetting me because I am affraid he might act as if it isn't a big deal. You know what I mean...Neither one of us has ever had any real surgeries, so that might be a reason. He has taken 10 days leave from work to be with me and the kids, so I am guessing he actually does care... LOL Can anyone tell me how to explain it to him... Thanks so Much, Jennifer

[Jane_S 0]

My husband didn't get it either!

He used to be a professional athlete, so I told him:

'Remember when you had to do hundreds of situps in training, and how your abs felt the next day?'

He got that part. Nodded his head.

'Ok, add someone sucker punching you in the belly as well as the situps - that's how I feel'.

His eyes grew wide. Terror. Horror. Then understanding.

He was so good afterwards. Even now, two weeks after, he won't let me do anything that requires heavy lifting. Good husband.

Men are all about the analogy. :thumbup:

[talkalot1981 5]

He doesn't really understand what causes the pain...

[kkarryall 0]

This is what causes the pain:

**Your body will be cut open.

**Your abdomen is pumped full of gas...which eventually has to make its way out of your body. Gas can be painful! This is the left shoulder pain that everyone talks about.

**You will have stitches.

**A foreign object (the band) is placed around your stomach which causes swelling on the stomach...you must allow time for the stomach to heal (which is why you are only allowed liquids after surgery).

**Your Dr. will give you pain medication; therefore you can expect some pain after surgery. Personally I only took two doses of pain meds and was feeling back to normal after about 4 days. Went back to work in a week.

Hope this helps him understand...

[talkalot1981 5]

Thanks so much. He's thinking the gas that they pump in will just come out as farts. I will explain all this all over again and see if it makes more sense to him. He is very hard headed and likes to think he KNOWS everything. Thanks again, Jennifer

[Jachut 487]

The band is STITCHED to your stomach, not just put around it.... the stomach is kind of pulled over in a flap and its stitched so it makes a little channel, that's going to hurt.

Personally, I didnt find pain levels really bad, I didnt actually need anything other than a bit of paracetamol, but its definitely there. I was especially lucky with the gas, that really didnt bother me at all.

[heartfire 4]

AND the gas can't come out in farts or burps as it is in the abdomen, NOT the stomach! If it was in the stomach, it could either come up the esophagus, hence out the mouth, or thru the intestines/bowels to then come out the other end.

The gas in your abdomen has no easy way to escape and must be worked out of your system, hence the walking. Helps move it around and get it distributed and broken up, so to speak. Gas-X, despite being touted as the only way to go, won't tough the surgery gas. It will help with gastro-intestinal gas tho, so do keep some on hand.

As far as getting him to understand, I have no easy answers for you. The above example given is really good. He's in the military so make it physical in nature as far as explaining things.

Best wishes to you!

[itschoice 0]

There is also a nerve in your stomach that when irritated causes pain in your left shoulder. It can be irritated by the band being put on, the gas pumped in to your body cavity, eating/drinking too much, or gas in your stomach that makes you burp. Now tell him to imagine getting a tooth filled with no Novocain. Some teeth you can get work done on with little discomfort while others just one little tap on that nerve can send you through the roof.

Also ask him if he has ever had an air bubble in his back. It feels like you have a knife in your back. Sometimes your shoulder can hurt like that and it makes it difficult to move or lift your arm.

Now on a positive note it does go away. I was worried that it was going to always hurt after i got the band. Now it only hurts once in a while, when I drink too much too fast (I think I made my stomach too heavy), or when I have a burp stuck and i lay down to go to sleep (I have to sit up and burp it out and it goes away). Also now it only bothers when it does hurt and it does not feel like a knife is stuck in me.

[RJW 0]

One of the people put it very clearly. you go thru the same things for major surgery because, this is major surgery.

I am 57 and never been in the hosptial in my life and i hate needles worse than a cat hates Water and my threashold for paint is minus 100(that equals big boob) lol.

I was scheduled to stay the night but did so well after surgery they let me go home that day and treated me as an outpatient. I was in some real pain for the first two days but it got better after that. It all depends on the medication they give you aftwards. The port incision is the worst and takes the longest to heal. I am 6 weeks out and it is still tender when I hit it or have something hard against it.One thing you cant do without a lot of pain and discomfort is your normal duties so if he is there to help for 10 days great.

Even though your pain should be better in 2-3 days your discomfort will not be and you will need help with your diet and he will have to be a house huband for those 10 days. You only have one thing to do and that is walk and move around as much as you can, without lifting or exerting your self by using tummy muscles.

I think he understands or he would not take 10 days off to help. Good luck and call on any of us for help or advice. The day of your surgery is the first day of a new life for you, so enjoy it.:thumbup:

[Headhunter 6]

Most everyone is gonna feel SOME pain, for all the reasons that been given thus far. But, there are some who feel very little or no pain. It's like a little cold for a day or two.

That was probably the ONLY positive thing about my band experience, the fact that i didn't have any pain at all. I stayed in the Hospital over night, left the next morning and I was fine. I had the surgery on a tuesday Afternoon, and by friday I was at a Trade show in Las Vegas.

So, it's kind of like the Band experience in general.....it's gonna be different for EVERYONE, but you would be wise to anticipate SOME pain. May sure the Doc prescribes some of the GOOD stuff for you to have on hand...:thumbup:

HH

[Donnainva 0]

This should be all you have to say

This is what causes the pain:

**Your body will be cut open.

[Dana36 0]

Go to this site: Adjustable gastric banding, LapBand, Lap Band, Lap-Band, Swedish Band,Weight Loss Surgery, WLS, laparoscopic bariatric surgery, keyhole surgery, band aid surgery, affordable, minimally invasive treatment of severe obesity in Bangkok, Thailand That will show your husband how the band is stitched to your stomach. It is not simply put around your stomach, but your stomach sewn around the band to hold it in place.

[jms462001 9]

It's possible he just can't stand the thought of the woman he loves being in pain so he is trying to minimize it as much as possible. He will be there to help and hopefully your pain will be minimal!

[talkalot1981 5]

Thank everyone for your responses. They are great. I called my hubby last night and told him as soon as he gets home from his fishing trip he has to read what everyone has wrote.

jms462001: I think you may be right because eveytime I talk about the surgery and being scared he had this blank look on his face and then instantly hugs me.... Men, don't even have to say anything and we know what they are thinking..(well sometimes)..LOL Jennifer