Overweight friends and the lap band

[bashful1269 5]

I have a question for everyone out there...

I have a friend that is very overweight and really wants to have the lap band done, problem is she just got laid off and doesn't have the money or the insurance to do it, how do I help her?

So far, I have explained to her that she could lose weight by starting to give up soda, since she drinks about six a day, which translates into around 900 calories per day or two pounds a week weight loss.

Right now many of our social functions are centered around food, what kinds of activities have you replaced the eating with? Any suggestions????????

Your suggestions would be greatly appreciated,

Thanks,

Stacy

[rodriguezequal 3]

You can only help your friend if she wants help. Try going for walks together...Try walking at the mall or just Target first (that way it doesn't seem so much like work :smile2:). Pick up a hobby together, like a book club, or crocheting. She does need to lay off the soda though. If you feel you have to have food at a function make it a healthy food...veggies and ranch dip or lowfat cheese on crackers (but keep the amounts available low). I hope this helps...even if just a little :thumbup:

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Get her to become your exercise buddy!!! YOu guys can support each other. As far food being the social activity replace unhealthy foods with fruits and veggies. Tis the season for some awesome grilled veggies and fresh fruits. Then when she gets back on her feet help her out with her journey.

[anne43 1]

My bf is in the same boat - she has been my biggest champion when it came to my decision to do this - she supported me and went to all my appts with me - we even drove through a horrific snow storm to get to one - and she had to go to the bathroom so bad and we were stuck on the freeway - all we could do was laugh and it just made her situation worse - we went through a lot - anyway - she even went through the 2 week liquid diet with me - all though she drew the line at doing the whole colon cleanse thing - lol - but as I lost weight - and she didnt - it has put a space in our friendship. We are still bf - and she still supports me, but I think she is envious because I could do the surgery (my insurance paid for it ) and hers won't. I have kept my surgery very private and only she and my husband know about it - no one else does - and it has been 2 years- she shared with me the other day it is frustrating for her - because her family (kids and hubby) are constantly holding me up to her and saying look how good I have done with my diet and why can't she do it - I guess I am a real hero to them - and she can't say a word because I have asked her not to tell anyone. I did remind her that this isn't an easy way out - in fact it is one of the hardest things I have ever done - but it made losing weight doable. I try not to talk about it too much - support her when I can - I know she has gained quite a bit this past year - and doens't seem to even try and do anything about it -although she says she wants to - it is sooo unfair that insurance companies can discriminate against overweight people...I guess all we can do is support and sympathize - as we know what it is like.... it does break my heart that I can't do more for her. Anne

[rodriguezequal 3]

Insuarance isn't the only way...my insuarance wasn't accepted at the place I had my surgery. I felt like I was doomed there was no way I culd get all that money up front. My husband doesn't make enough! So I got carecredit and make payments on it like a credit card....there are ways to get things done

[Minxz 0]

Make yourself available to do active and healthy activities together but don't make your friendship about you coaching her to lose weight. Sure she wants to but it will discourage her as you lose better due to the band and she may start to resent your success. Not because she is a bad person but because its less painful to focus the negative emotion on you than herself. If she REALLY wants to lose weight she will ask you for suggestions and do research on her own as well.

Edited June 30, 2009 by Minxz