Ok Husbands & Wifes...

[davidsmom08 0]

wow what a great thread to start, I wish there was one like this before my surgery

1. Heating pad is a must must must...keep in mind it's going to be hard for her to bend at the waist to "plug" things in so when it's time to move from the couch to the bed remember to help her move her things with her.

2. Gas X melt strips...I couldn't stomach the thought of swallowing anything other then a FEW sips of Water let alone anything that tasted NASTY. the strips are great because she can tear small pieces at a time and they do in fact melt away.

3. check with the surgeon before hand if they are going to be providing liquid pain meds...mine did liquid lortab. My hubby filled my pains while I was in recovery so all we had to do was go home.

4. lots of pillows - I was able to sleep in my bed with 4 pillows so I was pretty upright...who doesn't want to sleep in there own bed.

5. support getting up and sitting down..we use a lot of our stomach muscles to do this and it's hard to get up and down..I am 8 days post op and I still have a hard time.

6. walk with her...help her get up and try to encourage her to walk every hour or so even if it's just for a couple of minutes...this will help with the gas pains and prevent blood clots from forming.

7. don't dare mention the word sex lol...she will let you know when she is ready :wink: I told my hubby today I think I may need just a couple of more days...it hurts when my belly jiggles.

8. my hubby and son didn't eat in front of me but honestly it really didn't bother me...I had no appetite at all anyway!

Day 1, 2, & 3 I was totally out of it and slept most of the day mainly because I took my pain meds every 5 hrs :tt1: Day 5 I was back to work BUT...even though she may head back to work that doesn't me she can come home and do laundry, cook, and clean...that part is going to take a couple of weeks sooo...just be as supportive as you can during that time...it already appears as though you are anyway!!! Your both going to do great!!! And you know everyone here is available for any questions you may have

[RestlessMonkey 7]

The two biggest things MY husband did for me, both preop and post op:

1. He believed in me, even though I've dieted and gained about a million times (I weighed 150 when we were married in 1985)

2. He did NOT eat around me while I was on liquids only. Period.

My moods didn't swing but I was so darned happy to have the band (FINALLY!) it would've taken flood, fire and grim death to harsh my buzz any.

She's lucky to have you; I'm sure she'll do fine with support like you at home!

[Headhunter 6]

I really like this cute couple!

They're neat.

It's wonderful to see a relationship working like this.

I see a number of threads here where the husband is NOT supportive of the wife. There was one where The husband even refused to drive the wife to the hospital for Surgery!

So, this is just heartwarming to see. And for those of you who don't think I actually HAVE a heart, well, it's there. And it gets tickled a bit when I see sweet stuff like this. This is what a marriage is SUPPOSED to be like. Supportive. Caring. Loving.

And Erick, this WILL pay off for you in other ways, you know. I predict that the minute Agnes hits goal, she'll be off to Victoria's Secret, and you'll be getting the support YOU'RE lookin' for!

HH

[Enote 0]

Wow...what a good responce I am getting. These are all VERY helpful hints and STUFF I would have NEVER of thought about so its good to know.

And thank you all for the kind words...we do work pretty well as a couple and I know for sure that she would be there by my side every step of the way.

So im going now to get that heating pad, lol....along with other things!

If anyone else out there has any other thoughts, comments, or ideas please fill free to let us know.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Erick (Enote)

[lose2regainme 0]

I know everyone has mentioned a heating pad, but honestly I preferred a hot water bottle. You know the old fashioned kind of rubber bag with a stopper? I didn't care if it was warm or not, it was the weight of it laying across the top of my abdoman that felt so good to me. Also sugar free banana popsicles. I am 8 days post op and that is the best there is as far as I am concerned! I also have an awesome husband and appreciate him very much.

It sounds like you both are on the right track. Follow the doctors orders for best healing results and stay strong together. ....... That's all for now, I need a popsicle!!

[Agnes 0]

Everyone on here is SO great! THANK YOU for all your responses! Erick is my best friend, and i really DO NOT know how I would get through this without him!!

[emmylou 0]

I'm glad you are concerned for your wife and that you want to help her because she will need your support. However, as you know everyone is different and has a completely different experience. The band is not a one size fits all thing. What I can't eat, the next person has no problem with and so on. So, I can only tell you what my experience was/is. You'll have to just see how it goes with your wife.

I will tell you that pre-op I was a crazy woman. I had huge mood swings. I had to do a two week pre-op diet and it messed with my system big time. Also I was anxious and scared. Fat cells also store extra hormones, so when I started dropping weight, those were released. Not only mood swings, but Migraine headaches. Don't let this scare you though, it's only temporary and totally worth it!

As for having food in the house. I didn't want those things. Post-op I followed my doc's instructions to the T. It's safer that way and it decreases the chances for complications. Also I had my mind in the game, so to speak, and was ready to give those things up. It took me a year to decide to have the band and during that time I came to grips with the fact that I could never have soda and certain foods. I was okay with that. It doesn't bother me for others to have them in front of me. I wasn't going to deprive my family of certain treats that they wanted. But that's just me. I did however replace a lot of that stuff with healthiery choices because it's good for them too. My hubby drinks diet soda all the time, it doesn't bother me. I don't miss it and only occassionally crave it. Haven't had any soda since March 08.

After she's been banded for a while and heals, she will be able to start experimenting with foods to see what works for her and what doesn't. There are some days I can eat bread and other days I can't, but because I don't know what kind of day it is until I try it, I usually just skip bread and bready foods altogether. I love salty Snacks so I do have to keep those to a minimum in the house or I will eat them. They go down with no problem. I can usually say no to them unless it's one of those days and then....:thumbdown: but I deal with it and move on.

For me, the worst thing my hubby could do is say something like "are you supposed to be eating that?" or anything similar (not that he would anyway). I know what I need to be doing and if I'm not then that's my fault not his.

I would just say stay super supportive. That's the most important thing. If she tells you she's not strong enough to have those Snacks in the house yet, try to accommodate her. If she tells you she doesn't want to go to your favorite restaurant because there's nothing she can order, try to understand. Eventually she'll get really good at dealing with the band and social engagements. It's a learning experience for everyone in the family. Just love her and tell her how great she is doing. Oh, and when she starts losing, don't forget to tell her how great she looks. It'll motivate her to stay on track or at least it does for me.

Sorry if I've rambled on too much. Good luck to the both of you!!

I was just telling my husband about your post and my preop liquid diet crazy woman stage. LOL I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one. I've been crying at the thought of food or rather the lack thereof for the last 3 days. It's like PMS on roids or something! I can't explain it.

[Bea1128 1]

This is "the wife"..THANK YOU for that! That was sweet and so kind if you to take the time to type all that! (i am a huge rambler! so no worries!)

I am VERYY lucky to have him and couldnt do this w/o him!

So glad I could help. Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions. I'm happy to help if I can. When is your surgery?

[Bea1128 1]

I was just telling my husband about your post and my preop liquid diet crazy woman stage. LOL I'm happy to see that I'm not the only one. I've been crying at the thought of food or rather the lack thereof for the last 3 days. It's like PMS on roids or something! I can't explain it.

LOL! PMS on roids, that's great. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I remember getting so mad over the dumbest things and then start crying because I didn't know why I had gotten so upset. My poor family. :thumbdown:

The good news is that it didn't last forever and it was so worth it. I'm happier, healthier, and better than I've ever been. My family is happier because of it. You know that old saying, "if momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy!!" LOL!

[emmylou 0]

I know! LOL I eventually had to eat ground beef and lettuce and then I was fine. I'm back on liquids for the remaining days till surgery, but I'm not crying and depressed at the moment. I guess that kicks in at day 3-4 LOL. I cannot stand the feeling of starving, hungry I can handle.

[BillOh 13]

I haven't read all your replies yet, but does she have any classes scheduled as required by her program before the surgery? My wife had 4 classes and they recommended bringing your spouse to the last one for just this type of discussion. It helped me make the decision to go ahead as well.

[Agnes 0]

I haven't read all your replies yet, but does she have any classes scheduled as required by her program before the surgery? My wife had 4 classes and they recommended bringing your spouse to the last one for just this type of discussion. It helped me make the decision to go ahead as well.

Hello there!

This is the wife! I am self-pay so no clases.. I am assuming that is required by insurance?

[HolliJ 24]

Hello there!

This is the wife! I am self-pay so no clases.. I am assuming that is required by insurance?

I think it depends on the surgeon and/or insurance company. Neither of mine requires any classes.

[emmylou 0]

I'm also self pay. I guess it depends on the surgeon's requirments. I had to see a dietitian, my primary care physician, sleep Dr., have blood work, sleep study, etc. I then had to get clearances from each prior to surgery.

[BillOh 13]

Hello there!

This is the wife! I am self-pay so no clases.. I am assuming that is required by insurance?

Yes, in most cases that I am aware of. The one reply up several from mine that started mentioning pillows, gasx strips, could have been written by my wife, it made a lot of sense.