Friends?

Tamiko · September 18, 2005

Has any one had any friends who wanted to have surgery also but didn't get approved? My friend and I have been friends for 6 years but for the last three years we both had been looking into getting weight loss surgery. She is a lot smaller that me I weigh 380 she weighs 250, but she was quick to give up after we were turned down twice. I kept going because I have diabetes and knee problems. I cary my weight well and people think I am smaller than I look but I am not. So I went by myself the last time and went through a lot of test and finally got approved. I had my surgery in Feburary and have only lost 40lbs. On top of that everyone always asks how the weight loss is going and that makes me want to scream because it is a lot of work that I have to put into it to have control. I have to chose not to over-eat and eat the wrong things. It is not like this surgery will do everything for me. Which I have come to fell good about my decision to have lap-band in stead of GBS. I am learning how to say no. Well today I get a call from my friend and she says that she is going to the same doctor that I went to to see if she could get approved for GBS because she wants to lose it fast and she says that I am losing mine too slow. That really hurt because I am working my a_ _ off to get this weight off and she doesn't even know the half of it, and by the way she told me she was jelous of me when I had mine done. I would never do her like that. I just needed to vent and share.

NJChick · September 18, 2005

First off, your doing wonderful and congratulation on your weight loss.

True friends aren't jealous, they are supportive. Maybe you need to take a look at the friendship and decide if she is going to bring you down or uplift you like real friends do.

Misery loves company, don't fall into her trap. Bring positive people into your life and you'll be amazed at what it does for you.

Sorry she turned out to be like this. HUGS !!

La_madam · September 18, 2005

True friends aren't jealous, they are supportive.

Plain and simple!!!

When she gets the bypass be as supportive as you possibly can, do not compare her weight loss to yours. You know you are working hard and seeing progress, and that is al lthat matters. ...

but in 2 years after she has lost her wieght just sit back and watch, most likely her pouch will have become stretched and she will start to gain wieght back where as for you , you always have the option of getting a fill and continue to lose weight..

Anwyn · September 18, 2005

Nice job on the 40lb weight loss! You're doing great so don't let her negativity get to you. You may lose slower, but she's going to find that there are a whole bunch of lifetime drawbacks to the RNY, especially if she develops an intolerance to sugar or fat. Keep working - you're going to get there!

Tamiko · September 18, 2005

Thanks for the encouragement. I feel like what she said doesn't matter. I never gave up and countinued to keep going even after I was denied 3 times in the course of three years. I put in the work to have all the tests done and do everything my insurance company said and then they finally approved my surgery. She told me she wished that she had not given up and I too agreed with her, but I can't let her regrets kill my joy over what I have done. I would still be their for her eventhough she wasn't their for me. I know how much she wants to lose the weight she has gained but she wants it to come off quick as possible. I mean who doesn't, but is that the healthy way? She doesn't seem to care. Her aunt had the surgery 5 years ago and she was extremly sick right after, she bust her stiches by over eating and had many more complications that made her lose a lot of weight in a short amount of time. She has gained and lost over the years but she has managed to still maintain her weight and my friend sees her option better because she lost it so fast. I told her everyone is different and we all lose weight at a different pace. Hopefully when she talks to the doctor maybe he can get through to her better.