Annoyed

[hkitty 0]

I must say, I am rather quite annoyed. The RS Pres. is a friend of mine and she is in the book club I belong to. This book club is like family to us all. We all happen to be LDS but it is totally unrelated to the church. We are a small group and very selective of who we invite in, just because we are so close and share confidences. Well, another member had the Lapband surgery about a year before I did. And of course I would talk to her about it, kind of to the side. She brought it up during one of our meetings, which is okay. I wasn't sure if I was going to tell all of them, but like I said, they are family to me. But with the RS Pres, I told her very directly that she knows this about me as a friend, not as the RS Pres or a member of the church, and nobody is to be told. That was 6 months before I had the surgery. Now 7months later she told me that she told the bishop because he asked her if I was okay cause I missed a few meetings. She told him I had surgery and he asked her what for and she told him.

I am really upset about this. She could have just said that I did have some stuff going on, but I was okay and that I did not want the church involved in it. Or even simply said I had surgery but didn't want to reveal anything else.

I haven't told her how upset I am, and really don't have a desire to. But I don't want to be around her, including at church. I had gossip going around about me a couple years ago at church cause as good as the bishopric is, some people have trouble keeping their mouths closed, and now this makes me wonder again who is talking about me and who knows, when no one was supposed to. But I feel like crying when I think about it.

(sorry if this is long! I had to get it out)

[lotzasunshine 2]

So sorry that you are frustrated! She really should have just said that you had some things come up. We can hope that your Bishop won't tell other people too. Sorry you are having to worry about this so soon after surgery. Stress isn't going to do you a lot of favors right now.

[RUKidding 0]

Oh how frustrating! I'd definately tell her how upset you are. Then make sure you don't ever share anything private with her again. I know it stinks to lose a friend but sometimes we have to protect ourselves.

[lapbandtalker 0]

I've not told anyone about my lapband, especially people from church.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Why didn't the bishop ask YOU if you were ok because you were missing meetings? Since they are trying to keep gossip down? Just curious.

[hkitty 0]

Because she's the Relief Society President. That's just the chain of command I guess.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I guess it's part of church politics and apparently something I don't understand. However if he was "OK" to ask her, in his official capacity, should she have LIED to him? I think he's culpable too but don't understand the situation apparently.

Maybe as your friend she wanted to be quiet but when a church official asked her outright she didn't feel comfortable lying.

I would've been ticked off that the bishop didn't ask ME personally, but that's just me.

I'd be upset with her, too...but again, your church and it's beliefs are all intertwined here.