I've been away because...

[BlessedTwice 1]

Hello everyone,

I've been away because I have been in a Women's Safe Home with my children since the middle of April. I just got into an apartment a week ago and got Internet Access.

I had finally had enough emotional, mental and psychological abuse and left after an episode with him where I felt unsafe more than I have ever.

I am still losing weight and am down 65 pounds....:thumbup:

And now my DH wants to work things out an doesn't want a Divorce... As much as I want my boys to have both parents at home, I want them to have a happy home. And I think this means two happy homes, not one unhappy one. I just don't feel he can change...we have went to Marriage counseling and everything is my fault in his eyes...He says its all me.

And now he's try to woo me back...I'm stronger than I've been for a long time but I still have moments of guilt over my boys.

I feel that he's like this now because he has lost all control over me.

I've lost around 20-24 pounds since leaving him and he has commented on that too... and asked me if I was seeing someone else.... Yeah right...the only men in my like are my two little ones I read books to every night.

I'm sorry I've rattled on and on...Its been a hard few months and I feel it will get worse before its better.

Blessed

[gingerbug 3]

Hang in there, you are showing your children that it is ok to stand up for yourself and protect yourself, lessons that are incredibly important. Furthermore, you are showing them it is not ok to hurt women. A lesson their future spouses and childrens spouses with thank you for.

[Brockbabe82 0]

I know it is tough but stay strong girl! Your children are going to value you 100% more because you shoed them that you are a strong willed and independent person. It will be much better for your own sanity and your children if you are in a stable, healthy environment, rather then an abusive one. You stay strong hunny, and remember you have a family of people who support you here!

[Kristine73 1]

If you go back now, you will be in more danger than ever before. I grew up w/an abusive father. It took my mom years to finally break free of him. At first she'd take him back believing he meant what he was saying "This time." Or, so thought two parents were better than 1. Well, the last time she took him back, lets just say that he brought out the guns, literally. We got away. I was 16 when we finally got away, so I am old enough to remember a lot of the crap that he pulled. I haven't spoke to him in years and plan on keeping it that way.

No matter how well parents think they 'shield' the kids from what's going on, trust me, kids know.

Stay strong, stay safe and protect both yourself and your children. I don't know their ages, they may not understand everything, right now. But down the line, they will know mom fought tooth and nail to protect them!

:thumbup: Hugs

[tapshoes 2]

Hi Blessed

I cannot say that I know your struggles as I do not. I am glad to hear though that you are rebuilding your life in safety and that you and your sons are removed from that situation. Safety first... there is a reason that motto exists!!

And it is wonderful that you are still losing weight through all of this stress and turmoil...you are obviously a very strong woman. You are quite correct in that it is better to have 2 happy homes rather than 1 home that is not...a happy home is healthier for everyone - you and the boys.

As for the ex...stay firm in your resolve. Do not let his ploys undermine you or what you must do to be in a healthy happy place in body and soul.

Although the circumstances are not good, welcome back.The VV's are here to help you.

[sil 0]

God bless you an your children. hang in their we all love you.be strong.

[OnTheWay to Thin 0]

If you have given him chances before, and there has been no long term change it is not likely he will ever change and you are right if you go back you are likely to be in more danger than before. Your children will respect you more for getting out of a bad relationship than staying in one and seeing you abused every day. This is also likely to turn them into abusers, so you are doing the right thing, raise them to the best of your ability and show them that it is not ok to treat women that way. You will all be better for it. Our thoughts are with you and let us know how you are doing.

[heartfire 4]

Hang in there and DO NOT give in to him!!!

You worked hard to get out of there, you stayed in a shelter for an extended time and are now in your own apartment. You and your boys are safe. Are you going to give all of that up for his promises? Ones that he's broken before?

He's already showing his hand, blaming you for everything in counseling, seeing you continue to lose weight and yet accusing you of seeing someone! Puuullllleeeeeezzzzz!!!!!!

There will be no changes with him. And if I'm correct, he's already making plans on how to make you pay once he's got ahold of you and the boys again.

Stay strong, stay on course and keep being the greatest mama you know how to those two precious boys!!!!

Many prayers to you and your boys!

[Iris_L 0]

Hello everyone,

I've been away because I have been in a Women's Safe Home with my children since the middle of April. I just got into an apartment a week ago and got Internet Access.

I had finally had enough emotional, mental and psychological abuse and left after an episode with him where I felt unsafe more than I have ever.

I am still losing weight and am down 65 pounds....:tongue:

And now my DH wants to work things out an doesn't want a Divorce... As much as I want my boys to have both parents at home, I want them to have a happy home. And I think this means two happy homes, not one unhappy one. I just don't feel he can change...we have went to Marriage counseling and everything is my fault in his eyes...He says its all me.

And now he's try to woo me back...I'm stronger than I've been for a long time but I still have moments of guilt over my boys.

I feel that he's like this now because he has lost all control over me.

I've lost around 20-24 pounds since leaving him and he has commented on that too... and asked me if I was seeing someone else.... Yeah right...the only men in my like are my two little ones I read books to every night.

I'm sorry I've rattled on and on...Its been a hard few months and I feel it will get worse before its better.

Blessed

I think you have answered your intuition. You left and for the right reasons. I pray that healing resonates in you, the children and your estranged husbands life. Stay focused.