unsuportive hubby

[Leah2421 0]

I need this surgery done! I am sick of the yoyo ride and want to get off! I could care less what others think about my decision...all except one...my hubby is AGAINST it! He thinks I "am not ready" , or I'll "just gain the weight back", because I am not ready, and I guess if I was ready then I wouldnt need the surgery anyway cause I would loose weight on my own by "good healthy eating habits"! I am mad! One because he doesnt have faith in me..two because he is making me doubt myself, three cause what if the weight comes back cause "i am not ready"!!! Sorry for the emotional post, but I really could use any and all responses,,,,good or bad...

Thanks all

Leah

[TopTier 0]

The weight will come back if you eat around your band instead of working with it. It's a tool. But it's different than just diet and exercise alone.

It's because you can't keep from re-gaining after trying over and over again that means the band may be right for you.

So sorry he doesn't support you. I can't imagine what that must feel like.

But ultimately, you have to understand and BELIEVE that YOU are the most important person in your own life. You must make the decision that's right for you, and he can't make that for you.

I know. Easier said than done!

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I think you should both go to a seminar or two...it will clear up some misconceptions you both have, and perhaps help you decide if it's right for you.

[tyhelms 0]

Hi, at first when I told my husband that I wanted to do this, he was against it.. but as restless money mentioned I took him to the seminar with me, and they explained everything and he was able to hold the lapband device.. After everything was throughly explained he had no problem with it, besides I was going to get it done anyway but it helps to have his approval.. He has been really supportive of me over all the years dieting and spending money, so we looked at it as a way to stop spending on this diet and that diet.. Take him with you, I hope he understands...

[warner1030 0]

I would hope he would want the best for you. I was banded in april and i was the same as you. and its working it really is but you have to make it work

good luck

[Leah2421 0]

I would love to take him to the seminar (which I have already attended) but he travels and they only offer it on wed (smack dab in the middle of the wk)...so it may not be possible,...he did want to go and talk to my therapist tho, and voice his concerns, so maybe he will be on board after that...I am gonna do it anyway, but if he's negative about it, it will just make it harder...then again maybe it will make me more determined!!!

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

Igosnell,

When I first mentioned wanting the band to my husband he told me I should just eat less and save all the money the surgery would cost.

I'm assuming your husband doesn't have a weight problem because if he did he would understand your desperation. Put him on a calorie restrictive diet with you for a couple weeks and see if he still feels the same way. They don't understand that going hungry is painful. Make him see this and he will change his tune.

[Leah2421 0]

yeah...he's a skinny guy...lucky jerk lol...they really dont understand...but oh well, I dont care...I called him this eve and told him i was on my way to the seminar and that i was getting it done...he was not happy and not on board, i simply said "i know" and that i still loved him, and he said he still loved me too (in a butthead kinda voice)...and thats that...for now at least...he gets home on friday, but i think i will just refuse to talk about it with him since i know how he feels and i am gonna do it anyway...

[Iris_L 0]

Have faith in your husband coming around and it will happen. The first thing that happened when I went to the bariatric office for my consult was that the bariatric nurse explained how men in our lives will feel insecure for a number of reasons. #1 worry kicks in and many other things. I am not married yet but my ex boyfriend expressed anger about the surgery. I tried my best to keep him in the loop because the nurse said he would come around. And that he has. I am just taking time off now to do me. I have to make sure that this surgery is for me but I believe it will work out in the end. Once you start attending the meetings, consults, etc. your esteem will be greater and your husband who loves you will feel more confident. Just include him in the process and let him know "sweetie, I want you to know xyz and I know you are worried about me but your support is what I need most." :blushing: (get in his game room, you know what to tell him!) lol