Shrinking Violets Part 4

[TracyK 3]

:eek:

What is this choc cool whip you speak of??? I'd kill that off quickly...Good for you Tracy...

That stuff is no joke! lol Its in your local grocers' freezer next to the regular cool whip. I thought I had died and gone to heaven!:wink2:

[kity 2]

Hey Girls~

Another busy day here. Woke up and went to gym...and guess what??? I did the eliptical trainer for 7 straight minutes!!! I am SOOOO proud of myself...was hoping to do it for 3 min. Then I did some other stuff and went back and did 4 min again! That is 11 min!!! Tomorrow (if I can walk) I want to do 8 straight min on the machine. My goal is to build up to 30 min by the end of summer. You use your quads on that machine and the larger the muscle the more cal you burn!!! I am so proud (just had to run and PB my whole wheat casadilla) of myself.

Then we came home and the vet came and checked out Klausy. His vet retired and he hasn't been in a while. So for $366 buckeroos, he got shots, blood work, nails cut and a check up! Hopefully he will be ok.

Next we have the window guy here to fix my windshield. When I took Haydee and Michelle to In and Out Burger, a little rock hit my windshield...and sure enough, I have this HUGE crack now in my vision. If it were on the other side, I wouldn't worry about it, but it is right where my eyes go...so for $288 it will be fixed! Yep...that is a ton of $ and I haven't left the house!!!

After the window guy leaves we are going grocery shopping (that way I won't have to eat a whole wheat casadilla for breaky).

Tomorrow we are going down to Coronado Island in San Diego. Going to meet my bestest friend from college (when i was 18) for lunch. It will be nice just to drive out of town.

Everyone have a great day!

xoxoox

[kity 2]

OH yeah...we got these free passes to see Away We Go tonight. It is this new movie coming out next week. Our local radio station gives these out and all you do is pull in and they give you tix! Just like last week's The Proposal.

I am reading this great book called Loose Girl...very intriguing. I love it so far.

[TracyK 3]

Hey Girls~

Another busy day here. Woke up and went to gym...and guess what??? I did the eliptical trainer for 7 straight minutes!!! I am SOOOO proud of myself...was hoping to do it for 3 min. Then I did some other stuff and went back and did 4 min again! That is 11 min!!!

:wink2:Way to go!! Those things kill me! I see these little skinny so and so's get on there for like ever...and keep going and going and going and I just wanna go smack the sh*t out of them! lol WAY TO GO!!

[lunasa 1]

Hi Violets!!! As usual, forgive my absence..

I need advice, I hope you can help me.

I am completely SUCKING at this lap band bizniz.

I am currently at 235...I was 220 Back in Feb..Have been P'ing against the wind since falling off the wagon AGAIN!!

I have booked a fill for tomorrow. I have to travel from Ireland to London for my fill..It will cost me €230-250 ($300 give r take) to make this trip/get this fill. (I only want min fill as last year I was completely unfilled after band almost cut off my air supply!!)

My dilemma is...Since my experience with the band when filled good is more obstruction than restriction, AND seeing that I'm obviously sabotaging no matter what is in band, am I wasting my time getting fill? I am TOTALLY caught in a cycle of emotional eating... I HAVE to deal with this comfort eating

OR should I get the fill AS WELL as getting to grips with comfort eating? Maybe fill will put the brakes on even more weight gain?

Please please please lend me your valued opinions girlies!

Oh, and congrats Laura on your beautiful baby!!! :blushing:

PLEASE HELP!!! thank you in advance xx:confused:

[TracyK 3]

Hi Lunasa~

You can self sabatoge/eat around the band no matter what your fill is. It is all really up to you as to what YOU think.

I quit smoking last year, got a slight unfill because my thinking at the time was if I cant smoke, I will eat. I had gained almost 50 pounds back and am now losing it again. I decided to NOT get a fill right now. I know I need to get my head issues fixed first. If a fill fixed my brain I would be there in an instant!

Take care and come back and let us know how you are.

[lunasa 1]

If a fill fixed my brain I would be there in an instant!

LOL...me too!!!

Thank You Tracy, that's just it...It's all in the mind!

Bummer....mind transplant anyone?:blushing:

[lunasa 1]

Here it is....black & white...the reason I still have waaay too many wobbly bits still 2+ years on...

Restriction is suppose to mean "feeling full" but in my experience the term restriction means exactly that, food is literally restricted, it's not that I feel full, it's that I can't eat much, which sucks because instead of feeling satisfied it leaves me with head and eye hunger.

I CAN'T eat the food, but I'D still LIKE to...so, while the mechanics work, it doesn't take care of the desire. My mistake is that I wanted the band to act more like a wand and CHANGE me, instead of the reality that it can only be used as a tool to help me change myself.

I didn't and don't want to "DIET" anymore...I still have the urge to overeat regardless of what the band is capable of. Hence sabotaging by eating "around" the band, Ice cream and chocolate and alcohol when I can't get the bread & chips into me.

My desire to binge is as strong today, 2+ years post band op, as it was the day I paid money in desperation to get this fat monkey off my back

The only thing that has grown stronger is my own resistance. I STILL DO NOT WANT to DIET anymore..I'm sick of it, which is why I got the band and is why I misunderstood what the band does. I have given the band more power than it or I posses...It is a Band not a Wand

If I didn't eat when I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't have needed the band...so how do you change desire?

I have reasons why I want to lose weight and reasons why I don't want to diet...I am conflicted and as a result ambiguous!!

I suck!! Only thing I can do now is come to terms with my very obvious emotional need to stuff my face!!

P.S....I am going to stick to the apt to dump this on 'those with the needle', and more than likely get poked with said needle also

Edited June 17, 2009 by lunasa
P.S....I am going for the apt to dump this on those with the needle

[mdrai 3]

Hi Lunasa! It sounds like you've given this a lot of thought and have come to some difficult yet true conclusions... many of us here are in the same spot at this point... the head v. the band... 2 years on, it's not where we thought we'd be! I know it's cold comfort, but you are not alone! Best wishes!

[Kat817 19]

Busy trying to get things together, Rick and I are heading to the Grand Canyon tomorrow. He is on vacation, and I had originally ask for next weekend off to go see y'all and since that isn't happening, I am taking this weekend off, and going to the big hole in the ground with my hubby, and getting the hell away from it all!!

We are having a new rear tire put on the bike first----so will leave tomorrow afternoon, ride to either Monument Valley or to Lake Powell, depending on our choice of routes----and then spend the night, and go in on Friday, spend Friday and Saturday checking things out, probably leave and go to Arches National Park on Saturday, and then head home. We are going to do Fathers Day cook out on Monday, as we are both off, and Dads are both retired----and are ok with it.

I'll be in tomorrow before we head out.

Lunasa, when I am properly filled it really does help with my hunger issues, but I understand not everyone is that way. It is a SOLID 3 day BATTLE with me. I do not allow myself any sweets at all. During that time, I allow myself anything else I want----then once I get the sweets out, slowly the cravings ease, and I can go back to a healther diet.

I was unfilled for a year with no issues, then steroids popped almost 40 pounds with no problem!! I am working to get it off. I am down 3.5 of our -5 pound challenge for the month. So I am going the right way again, just a much slower trip this time around.

Talk to y'all in awhile!

XOXOXOX

[Daisalana 33]

Lunasa, my opinion of the band doesn't seem to be the norm from what I hear, so I don't know if this helps, but I'm an emotional eater and I WANT to binge, but with good restriction; I can't and can't. Even if I want and occasionally would try, the band stopped me.

Judy, Carson went from premie clothes to 3 month real quick. A lot of 0-3m stuff is way too tight, so he mostly wears 3m. (He hasn't worn a lot of stuff, and can't now, that we got) His first doc visit for height he was in 25 percentile and weight was 19 percentile. I knew no kid of mine was gonna be small lol, as of yesterday he is 24" and 13lb (wow Grady must be way chubby, Carson looks like a butter ball and they are the same height!!) Anyway, Carson is now 50 percentile in height and 75 percentile in weight.

I have even put him in some 6-month onesies and they fit fine.. I was wondering about sizing, they seem 'off', and googled one night, seems I'm not alone in this. He outgrew most of the cheapie packs of onesies of 0-3m when he was about 5 weeks (He's 2 months as of yesterday).

Got my fill, and he said when the billing girl asked him he couldn't remember the situation, so he had them fix it.. well he made a note on my chart and the billing girl (who is out today) will fix it. But he always stresses, I need to come EVERY month; even if I don't need an adjustment. That's just not realistic, I'm not driving 6 hours and payin $75 to get weighed and for them to ask me how I feel.

He did say today my Water intake isn't good. I normally hit 64oz, but this time I said 40oz; I know I've been lax. He said he wants me to aim for 100oz!!! He said they changed it recently, and he said even a gallon would be good.

They gave me a whole nother cc, they wanted to do .5, but I told him with 2.5cc I am feeling nothing, so he went ahead gave it to me, gave me crackers & water.. I told him, I'll probably need an adjustment in a month, I still don't feel much.. and he said he wants to wait till next month to do anymore. That's fine (that's what I said!).

One weird thing, I told the nurse, I don't know how many new banders they get, but there's this website forum for lap-band that has been a huge help--she cut me off to say they do the realize band now--and I said, either kind of band are welcome, and she says "They have their own forum, and if they don't want to go there I think there's ObesityHelp". I was like oooook..scuse me for trying to help, that really threw me for a loop.

[TracyK 3]

3:30 AM...just checking to make sure you are all safe :wink:

[Suziecat 379]

5am. and I'm safe. Tired, but safe.

Today is our day to volunteer to cut the grass at church. It usually takes about 6 hours. It's supposed to be really hot and humid so we are going to try to get started by 6am. I hired the kid down the street to help us but he has summer school and so we don't know if he'll help out for about an hour or so. I'd like to get done in time to spend about an hour in the pool.

Tonight I'm going with a group of women from work to a Play. It's called "Lucky Stiff". And than I have to be back up in the morning to work the early shift for a girl. Her daughter is getting married this weekend so I'm covering her shift for her.

One of my problems is that one of my meds causes a little bit of dry mouth. So I usually go thru about 10 lifesavers or so kind of hard candy a day. So that's about 250 calories a day that I shouldn't be getting. And yes, it's sugar free. I've asked the Doc if I can come off the meds and she said not yet. It may be a while.

I'm a grazer(sp?) also. Really it's just a lot of mindless eating. Habitual. And a very hard habit to break.

Kat, your trip sounds wonderful. I love the Grand Canyon. Been there about 4 times. Enjoy yourselves.

Everyone have a great day and don't forget that it's CTCD.

Laura, That's too bad that nurse didn't listen to you. What a wonderful site this has turned out for all of us. Believe me, it has really helped me and I hope it has been a big help for everyone that comes here and lurks, LOL.

5am and already 80 degrees. Gonna be a tough one out there mowing. Lots of Gatorade today. And Water.< /span>

[Jennifur 0]

Morning gals

[mdrai 3]

One week from today!..... :wink:

It's been raining buckets here all night... c'mon summer!

Am meeting a friend @ Panera for coffee this a.m.... we meet 1x/month & check-in/catch-up w/each other...

Other than that, it'll be work today, then ds's travel soccer try-outs...

I know, I live *such* the glamourous life!

Make it a good one everyone! Suzie BE CAREFUL out there mowing that lawn in the heat!!!