Racism Is Alive and Well

[Headhunter 6]

Huh? THAT was your point? Sorry, I didn't get that from your posts.

I do think that we misinterpret each others' posts pretty frequently. I envision you with a big club in your hand just waiting to pound someone to the ground (usually me.) That probably keeps me from being as open-minded as I should be when I read yours.

I'm curious. How do you envision me?

(Headhunter grabs a bowl of popcorn and curls up on the couch.....):thumbup:

[BethFromVA 5]

Huh? THAT was your point? Sorry, I didn't get that from your posts.

I do think that we misinterpret each others' posts pretty frequently. I envision you with a big club in your hand just waiting to pound someone to the ground (usually me.) That probably keeps me from being as open-minded as I should be when I read yours.

I'm curious. How do you envision me?

Seriously? Usually pretty hysterical and emotionally unstable. lol Sorry, you asked. It's what I see.

However, I don't always disagree with you. Shocking, I know. I very much agreed with your post to PG the other day and wanted to vocalize my agreement partly so you can see that we can actually agree on things.

And believe it or not, I DO try to find similarities in our thinking. I don't seek you out to "pound on you," as you stated. I think we're both intelligent, passionate women who have strong beliefs that we adhere to. And truly, there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes it's just about the presentation (on both sides, yes) more than the belief or stance.

My posts on this thread started out thinking (hoping) that maybe what the OP experienced wasn't what she thought it was. There is always that possibility she did, but I also thought there was a possibility she didn't but simply misinterpreted. Based on the limited information provided, both theories are plausible. It wasn't to demean her in any way.

Beyond that, yes, there are -isms as far and wide as one can imagine. People are mistreated because of their gender, their size (height and weight), their race, their hair, and/or any other types of differences you could imagine. Blacks aren't the only ones who experience racism. Everybody has probably experienced (or will experience) some form of it at some time in their lives.

[BethFromVA 5]

(Headhunter grabs a bowl of popcorn and curls up on the couch.....):thumbup:

Hehehe, don't get too excited. My club is way over in the closet and I'm too lazy to even keep it nearby.

[blklab70 1]

I have had two things happen in my life that stand out and I will never forget. One was in the military. My husband was an officer and I had made a friend of an enlisted man's wife. She was black and I am white. We had not seen eachother for a few weeks since we had moved onto Post, and we met at the commissary where we greeted eachother with a huge hug. Boy did my husband, who was in uniform, get a look from an upper class officer and his wife. To me it was who cares, this is my friend, but the military did not look at it that way. Back then it was not just that she was black, but she was the wife of an enlisted man! OMG! I would do the same if I saw her today! Then, a couple of summers ago my husband and I were walking on the wharf in San Francisco and a group of black women were walking behind us and making comments about me and threatening me. I had done nothing to them but be white! So folks, it goes both ways. We need to stop looking at each other as any color and just look at each other as members of the same human race. I grew up in a home that was racist and I will not stand for that in my home. Thanks for the thread, may we all learn something.

[BethFromVA 5]

I have had two things happen in my life that stand out and I will never forget. One was in the military. My husband was an officer and I had made a friend of an enlisted man's wife. She was black and I am white. We had not seen eachother for a few weeks since we had moved onto Post, and we met at the commissary where we greeted eachother with a huge hug. Boy did my husband, who was in uniform, get a look from an upper class officer and his wife. To me it was who cares, this is my friend, but the military did not look at it that way. Back then it was not just that she was black, but she was the wife of an enlisted man! OMG!

Was her husband also black? Not that it really matters because either way, obviously her husband was good enough to die for his country and possibly die trying to save his buddies. I think that behavior is totally shitty, especially from supposed "higher-ups" in our very government.

[Nanook 2]

BJean, I remember that Oprah show about eye color but I also seem to remember some athropologist who was an expert on racism on her show once and she asked a question when you see a person walking down the street what's the first thing you notice about them. It was either color first or sex first. Now I can't remember as I'm oldddddddd. I wonder where size plays a part, meaning weight/height.

[blklab70 1]

You said that so beautifully, he was good enough to die for our country. There are so many good men and women of all color fighting for our right to be racists if that is what we choose to be. Sad if you ask me. As for my house, we judge people for who they are not what color they are. I have met people of all colors who are good upstanding citizens and in the legal business, I have defended people of all colors who are not so upstanding. Hey people, it all starts with us. So far I have met some really good people here.

[blklab70 1]

I have also noticed a change in how I am treated when my hair color just turned blond (ok, I helped itturn). People treated me different then when I was a brunette. Aren't we all funny!

[BethFromVA 5]

You said that so beautifully, he was good enough to die for our country. There are so many good men and women of all color fighting for our right to be racists if that is what we choose to be. Sad if you ask me. As for my house, we judge people for who they are not what color they are. I have met people of all colors who are good upstanding citizens and in the legal business, I have defended people of all colors who are not so upstanding. Hey people, it all starts with us. So far I have met some really good people here.

Ditto.

I have gotten into heated arguments with people on various message boards who were mistreating others because of their race. So for anybody to think that I am okay with racism, all I can say is they are very wrong.

I guess my thing is that I need to know it's overt -- whether it's racism, sexism, weight-ism, or whatever. Anybody can believe it's one way when it's really another if they knew what people are thinking. When it's overt, there is no question. When it's not overt, I'd prefer to think it's something less harsh. Obviously we all handle things differently.

As for your friend, that just chaps my hide. So much for that "brotherhood" in the military, eh? I would hope that is one place that racism is not experienced. For crying out loud, they are all fighting for the same freakin' team! They are to have each other's backs! If that person is good enough to give his or her life for their country, then WTF does it matter what skin color they are (as if it mattered anyway!!)??

[BJean 16]

I grew up in a very small town in the southwest where there was a part of town that was referred to as "colored town". There were no children of color in any of the schools I went to prior to college. I had no point of reference regarding black people except to see them occasionally when we drove by "colored town." My parents were basically silent on the subject so although I think they were very good people, they didn't begin to teach me about bigotry.

When I got married, at an extremely young age, my H (not so dear now) went to Vietnam. He served 13 months in a dirty, senseless war. There were only 3 people who survived in his platoon. He and an Korean-American and an African-American. The three of them had become very close during their time of service together. They had all at one time or other saved each others' lives.

It was very interesting when we all got together for dinner. Race relations were discussed. And the men all agreed that we wives had no clue about how unimportant skin color was. They also discussed the fact that we wives were uncomfortable because we didn't think we knew how to treat people with skin that was a different color from our own.

They were right. We didn't and we were uncomfortable simply because we had different skin and hair and very different experiences growing up. We had not had the benefit of working alongside each other - depending on each other for our very lives. We had not had the chance to learn the lesson that they had learned: that skin color has absolutely no bearing on whether we can trust, love, respect or depend on each other in this life. I consider myself lucky to have learned something so important from those beautiful people.

[BJean 16]

Hmmmm, Nanette. That's an interesting thought. I've tried to imagine someone walking toward me and think about which I'd notice first, sex or weight. I can't come up with anything but that I'd probably notice those two things simultaneously. How could you not? Which do you think you'd notice first?

[blklab70 1]

I remember watching a show, Oprah or something, one time when they were trying to show that you really are racist even if you say you are not. The test went like this: your car breaks down and you are in a town where you do not know anyone. Outside of their houses are two people, one your race the other a different race. Which one do you go to for help? They were trying to say that if you did not go to the one not of your race then you were racist. My thoughts were, what does the house look like, how if the person dressed and which makes me feel more comfortable. I think that most of us would think the same way. You are all so smart and I wish you could go on a talk show to educate others. I am proud to be associted with all of you!

[Jaffa 5]

Bj, you made a statement early on that is flat out wrong. Racism is NOT more likely then prejudice against someone being fat. There have been lot of studies that prove this, here is a link to just one.

ABC News: Study: 'Weight-ism' Is Bigger Than Racism

[Jaffa 5]

a section of it reposted here

"Compared to other forms of discrimination in the United States, weight discrimination is the third most prevalent cause of perceived discrimination among women (after gender and age) and the fourth most prevalent form of discrimination among all adults (after gender, age and race.) "

So it is just as likely her weight. Sorry, but the poster has a bias here. They want to believe the discrimination is based on something they can't control, versus being discrimintated against on something that people think can be controlled.

[BethFromVA 5]

I grew up in a very small town in the southwest where there was a part of town that was referred to as "colored town". There were no children of color in any of the schools I went to prior to college. I had no point of reference regarding black people except to see them occasionally when we drove by "colored town." My parents were basically silent on the subject so although I think they were very good people, they didn't begin to teach me about bigotry.

When I got married, at an extremely young age, my H (not so dear now) went to Vietnam. He served 13 months in a dirty, senseless war. There were only 3 people who survived in his platoon. He and an Korean-American and an African-American. The three of them had become very close during their time of service together. They had all at one time or other saved each others' lives.

It was very interesting when we all got together for dinner. Race relations were discussed. And the men all agreed that we wives had no clue about how unimportant skin color was. They also discussed the fact that we wives were uncomfortable because we didn't think we knew how to treat people with skin that was a different color from our own.

They were right. We didn't and we were uncomfortable simply because we had different skin and hair and very different experiences growing up. We had not had the benefit of working alongside each other - depending on each other for our very lives. We had not had the chance to learn the lesson that they had learned: that skin color has absolutely no bearing on whether we can trust, love, respect or depend on each other in this life. I consider myself lucky to have learned something so important from those beautiful people.

That's a beautiful story, BJean.

As for your parents, I would guess that "bigotry" just wasn't an issue back then. Not that it didn't exist, just that it wasn't recognized and addressed like it is today. It just "was."