emotional tsunami

[willowcat 93]

Yesterday was my 8th day post-op. I was finally not feeling much pain, and I was able to feel very satisfied on the "mushies" food. So last night with my mind free from thinking about pain and/or hunger, I think I was finally able to pause and look my new life in the face--and I got scared!

All my past diet failures came rushing at me. I was overwhelmed with fear that this would just be the next link in what is already a very long chain of high hopes and determination followed by eventual failure--and to top it off, look what I did to my body this time! I've gone as far as having surgery and having something placed inside my body! I've gone through all this and what a fool I've been to think that somehow this time would be any different than all the other times.

The psychatrist at my psych eval had told me that eventually everyone has thoughts along those lines--I just didn't realize that it would be so soon for me. I cried and cried as I felt the cumulative pain of my lifetime of diet failures. It was so overwhelming. I think, though, that I needed to feel the pain of all of those disappointments--and not just the self-disgust I always felt when a diet failed--but the real saddness at the loss of each of those dreams.

My husband helped remind me of all the people on here who have taken the weight off and kept the weight off--there really is hope and a chance for a real recovery. Still, I'm feeling cautiously optomistic right now...like I'm afraid to really, really hope for success.

[Kristine73 1]

I was banded 6/08. I know how you feel. I think a lot of us have been, or will be, where you are. With the right toolsand a lot of passion/desire, a person can succeed at anything. I think w/the hoops you jumped through, you have the passion/desire. Just keep in mind the band is a tool and not a 'magic pill.'

Give yourself some time to heal and learn to use this tool before you go down that road!

[willowcat 93]

Kristine, What a nice, gentle, supportive, and upbeat response--thanks for your post! Have you been to the June Journeys social group yet? Hope to see you there.