Tired of it!!

[ksp 0]

i also made the mistake of telling a few close people in my life about my surgery, and now they drive me nuts! but even worse than that is that i live in a VERY small town so people talk, so i get those loaded questions like "so how are you doing?" where they have heard about the surgery but dont have the balls to say so hows the band going? another thing i get is also attributed to being in a small town is i go out to eat and i only eat a small amount and the waitress is asking if i liked the food, if it was prepared correctly, if im feeling ok.. etc. most of the time i feel like they dont believe me when i say it was fine im just not very hungry.

[Cate18 0]

I think once you put the information out there, it's really hard to "take it back" or expect a particular kind of reaction from someone. Trust me--I told a few people I wish I hadn't. But I think we're all curious creatures, and what we don't know always interests us. People may have heard about bypass, but don't know about Lap Band.

It sounds like a lot of other people disagree, but I think once you've put it out there, it's not a reasonable reaction to tell people to "mind your own business" with or without an expletive thrown in. I think MissBinda has a good point that it should make some difference where they're coming at with it. But regardless, if something someone is saying to you is bothering you, just try explaining that. You can always tell them, "I wanted to be really open about my surgery, but I've really found the extra attention on my diet to be really hard on me and I'm going to try to keep my progress more to myself from now on. But thanks for your interest and concern".

I know how much it can suck to get what you think is negative feedback or irritating attention, but I think more often than not it comes from curiosity and ignorance, not malice. Hope things ease up on you soon !

[Kristine73 1]

This is a tip I picked up somewhere, can't remmember where. But, when eating out, ask the waiter to have the chef cut the portion in half and put half on a plate to serve and the other in a 'to-go box.' This cuts down on temptaion and should cut down on people monitoring how much we eat. I just got my band last week, won't go out w/friends until about 6 weeks, at least to eat, LOL. But, I plan on using this method. And think about the upside, you get meals for the price on one!

[Mrs. Mink 0]

Sorry to hear the reactions you've been getting. This was the fear that I've had, therefore, I chose not to tell many people in at all. Only my husband, my mother, and a small handful of friends know of my surgery. I chose to do this, because people are unfortunately very judgemental. It amazes me that ppl have the reaction they do...if we were having surgery to reduce a cancerous tumor, they would never dare say something so mean. I feel that like a cancerous tumor, we are ridding our bodies of unhealthy fat. That's all that matters.

[ibelieve 0]

I know how you feel, so I told ONLY my colleague who is my good friend, at work (because he is pre-med) my immediate family, Mom, Dad, Brothers and Sister.

My Dad was staying with me, and broke the rules of my household, which is, MY business is MY business, and does not leave my house. So out of spite, seemingly, he told every neighbor he could about my plans... anyway, he left not long after... I started to figure out what he did, when one of the neighbors mentioned "you look like you are losing weight".. I had dropped about 20 lbs for required pre-op weight loss. So I let it pass, but my radar was up...

Then I had my surgery week before last. The day after they let me out of the hospital (I got home late the night before) the neighbor who mentioned weightloss' sister was yelling across her yard at me, "how are you feeling, how did it go???" etc... I was playing it off... whatever, not sure what you are asking... and my brother starts motioning to me, "she is asking about your, uh"... as he motions at my stomach. I wanted to kick him in the ass for being so stupid, as he tells me, "Dad must have told them".... I was like *F* that, it is NONE of their *F*n business, they are not entitled to know jack____ about me and my personal life.

Anyway, my father's rather evil passive aggression is still apparently affecting my life, long after he is gone.

I am an extremely private person... and I do not appreciate nosy neighbors at all.

[jslone 0]

I do worry about the few friends and loved ones I told about my surgery putting me and my plate under a microscope. My mom watches what I eat now. I know that she only comments because she is worried and concerned for my health. (I am an only child and my parents are divorced so she tends to be clingy.) I completely understand about not wanting everyone to know. I have only told those that I expect to be supportive. So if they do give me looks or overstep by examining my plate I know they love me enough that when I tell them to mind their own business they won't be upset. At least I hope so

[mscott521 0]

This is also the reason I have not told the people I work with about getting the surgery. If they ask how much weight I have lost, I am going to tell them percentages instead of pounds. Like I have lost 10% of my original weight.

[chicalynn 0]

Well I was very selective about who I told at the beginning. 5 months later I find myself blurting out the truth alot more now to random people. What in the world? I have lost 54 lbs since surgery which is a noticable difference so people are asking. I have to do a better job about saying "watching what I eat, exercise, etc...." vs "surgery". Really no one wants to hear that I have surgery. I think that time will help you, though, when your family begins to see changes from what YOU have been doing and they really truly learn what living with the band is all about. Keep up the good work and time will smooth things out.

[ccinlv 2]

Oh my gosh, that is exactly what happened to me, I too live in a small town were everyone knows your business and I also told my hubby what our story was going to be because I knew far too well that this is exactly what every one would say and/or ask whenever I was at the store or post office. Well just lilke you it was supposed to be a hernia repair, oh no he just told a few of his friends (which by the way are way worse gossip spreaders that my girl friends ever thought of being) the truth and with a communications network that would make NASA fail in comparison it was all over town in 2.5 seconds.:bored:

[bmooney364 30]

I have to post this. I was quite amused. Sunday. I went to a family birthday party at 130 pm and was famished by the time food was served at 230pm. I helped myself to a sandwich, pickle and a small handful of chips. I knew what I was doing. I was sitting by my also famished husband who would gladly eat anything I had left. I ate several small slices of lunch meat, cheese, pickle and a few chips which I ate slowly and chewed well. Didn't have any problem. Anyways the funny part, My dear daughter saw me(she is in her late 20's) and made a B-line for my table. " Mother should you be eating that?" she asked me alarmed. I had to laugh remembering this blog. My husband got to eat all the bread and most of the chips. I was satisfied.

[onenuttynurse 0]

Keep your chin up. People just want something to talk about. Most of them have nothing better to do than to critique others. Regarding people commenting on what you are eating. They are just miserable in their own skin, so they make themselves feel better by degrading other. I am going through all the labs and etc right now, but wont be banded until late october due to my insurance. My co workers(nurses) know I am having this done and they are very supportive to my face anyway.However, its just really none of their business and I am having it done while on a vacation. They don't know when the true date is....have a great day and remember "you are only as inferior as you allow people to make you feel"....

[Jill10191130 4]

I understand this as well. At times I wish I had not told anyone except my immediately family about having surgery. People do watch you like a hawk.

I've gotten so when people ask me how much I've lost, I tell them. Then I also tell them that it is not like gastric bypass surgery. It is much slower and safer. Then they usually act like embarassed and it shuts them up.

[bellatrickz 0]

Boy oh boy, I understand what you mean. I choose to tell my co-workers. I've had crazy questions and comments. Somehave been positive, but others have been making me think what a shallow world we live in. I understand that it is curiosity however, some of the thinks leave me dumb founded. I started to take a new approach, when someone asks me how much have I lost? I'll say I'm not checking oftenbut it feels good when I here my cloth and they are starting to fall off. A co-worker then said, "Isnthis the reason you got the Lapband so you could see how much weight you have lost. I said "No, Lap band is to make me feel healthier and so far it is doing the job well". i also have another co-worker checking me up and down with her head and eyes. Mind you she is more overweight then I was befor Lap. All I can say Im proud to have lost 40lbs since April21,09 with no regrets. thank you for this tread

[OnTheWay to Thin 0]

I did not tell anyone other than immediate family and 1 friend. But now that the weight loss is starting to show I can see people looking me up and down, but so far no one is asking, like they are afraid to ask. Kind of funny actually, I can see and feel the difference and feel better.

[RealityCheck 0]

Sorry to hear what you are experiencing. Fear of this happening to me is one of the reasons I decided to keep my op a secret from everyone except hubby!

I did the saem thing. It was not about insecurity but I did not need anyone else bothering me. AT times I did wish I had a little more support, but I am happy with my choice of keeping it between my husband and my parents. They really are all teh support I need that was positive enough to keep me sane. A support group will be my next step! I hope that everything goes better for you though... and if people keep bothering you, just brush it off (I know easier said than done) but before you know it you will be in your own zone.