Reallyneed encouragement/to vent

[Scorpyian1 0]

Well. I had an interesting week. My surgeon, who is supposed to be a pioneer/genius of Bariatric Surgery, pioneering the one-incision technique, called me a band failure and is recommending the gastric bypass.

Long story short: The night of my surgery I was feeling a little odd and asked to see the dr. He shows up and says to me: What? Complaining already? two months later he gives me a 5cc fill in a 14cc band. I feel as if I have no restriction. I lose about 3lbs and then stay. He's not going to fill me b/c I "should have enough restriction." He tells me at the next visit that he can't access my port...it has flipped, but I'm subjected to two radiology visits before it's decided that I need to have another surgery to fix it. Now it's fixed, but I can't get a fill. We wait another month, then I go back to radiology and am told I have a prolapse. I'm unfilled and am told to have liquids for 1 months. Hooray. I go back after two weeks - I'm unfilled and throwing up! Never did when the band was filled. So, I go back...guess what? REFLUX. No evidence of prolapse. so now he's looking at me and says it's my fault. That it is "rare" for the band to cause reflux. I didn't have reflux at all before the band. We discussed my options and it was "decided" that he was not going to fill me until I could show him I could lose weight on my own. (um...Hello? we might not have been acquainted at all if I could have managed to do that AND keep it off!...) So now I feel like I"m being punished. I"m 42 and my dr. is talking to me like I'm a disobedient and willful child.:smile:

So, now I am unfilled and being extremely careful with my diet. I haven't gotten on a scale b/c I just really don't want to see "no change." I feel like I'm barely eating. I don't want to even think about food. I'm living on nectar, and foods that I know are not going to sustain me in the long haul -- I'm terrified of the gastric bypass, I have a young son and am not willing to risk the possibility of death to be thinner, so for me, this is my last shot. I do have an appt. with another Dr. later this month. Even though Genius-Boy is a great doctor (for everyone else) I think our rapport ended once he added me to his roster of patients. I have lost confidence in him and he,in saying, "you are the very definition of band failure" obviously has lost confidence in me.

I guess I need to speak with people who have had similar experiences 7 months out, or problems with reflux and the band, but managed to get on track and lose weight. I'm pretty discouraged.

[lindata 1]

Well, I have no words of encouragement. I had an unfill in December, and have been filling it back up until now. The last fill (a teeny one of .15 ccs) was too tight, so they took out the .15 cc's and all the nurse had to say was to buck up. If I could have bucked up to the appropriate point before surgery to lose weight, I would have. So I'm not sure what to do right now either.

[Scorpyian1 0]

I"m sorry. I know how you feel. The only thing that "sort" of helps me is knowing that each of us has his/her own journey and what works for some/many may not work for us. Not always comforting, but it helps me realize that my path is my own and I have to find my way to my goal.

[melliecat 55]

Scorpyian1-who is your doctor? He/she sounds like an ***hole. You have to remember they are supposed to be "helping" you, what a jerk. I hope your new doctor can really listen and do what you need to help you!

[Jachut 487]

See this is where (and I think many might disagree and say the band is just inherently bad) I think it goes off track.

True, the band can have these problems. But doctors dont seem to want to work with the patients to solve them! The minute it starts to happen, they go into arse covering mode, and blame the patient, try to deal with them as naughty children, refuse to fill or unfill them and do all sorts of absolutely idiotic things.

At this stage of the game if your band has slipped,I'd say there's an awfully good chance that it wasn done right in the first place, or that something has happened in the post op phase to prevent proper healing. That just plain needs to be dealt with. It may require further surgery. That's the problem with the band, but no amount of pissfarting around by the doctor will negate that fact, to put it off only degrades your health and motivation.

I hope you get this sorted.

Edited June 2, 2009 by Jachut

[emjay 8]

I'm really sorry you are having so much trouble. Sounds like your doctor only wants to work with the patients he deems "successful" and not the ones that have problems (that he may have caused)!

I would definitely look into finding another physician - one with a better bedside manner for sure. It seems like some providers don't understand how weight affects us, not just physically, but emotionally, psychologically. Being treated by a petulant physician can wreak havoc on your pysche. You don't need to feel like your a failure simply because you have had some issues with your band.

Find a physician that is supportive and sympathetic to your needs. You need the right amount of support and encouragement to succeed. Not to say we don't all need a reality check once in awhile. But, a nurturing environment that focuses or YOUR well-being will be your best chance of success. I wish you the best! :frown:

[Scorpyian1 0]

Thank you so much for all your replies. Each of you has said something that I'd been thinking. I have a friend (we have the same dr.) who has lost 100lbs and has not yet had ONE fill -- these are the patients that he showcases, so yes, I do feel like the successful patients get all the attention and benefit of the doubt.

As for the band having slipped? I'm not even sure anymore. After the port was fixed and then I found out about the prolapse, I was thinking that it was improperly placed initially. He's REALLY not going to tell me that - besides, have you tried to get a dr. to say, "prolapse?" it's like the camel through the eye of the needle -- it ain't happenin'! I really got the idea that he just wants me gone....I should have left after the post-op comment!

As I mentioned, at my last appt. he showed me the radiologists report stating that there was no prolapse -- just reflux. From my research, it could be b/c he put in too many cc's at first. Ironically, I feel like I'm having more issues now that it is unfilled, so I'm looking forward to my appt. with the new surgeon. I'm hoping it doesn't have to be replaced or repositioned. I'm so sick of surgery with this thing. I have gone back to square one and am measuring everything, drinking when I'm supposed to, exercising (which I love, ironically). I guess I might have gotten away away from doing what I was supposed to do at some point b/c of feeling like I had no restriciton and my dr. was not being supportive or helpful. (btw, My first fill was 3 or 4 months out.) So, I'm trying now to make sure that I cross all my T's -- I want to give him no reason, but if we look at it...if I lose weight, it will only confirm for him, that I'm at fault and if I don' t lose weight, it's b/c I'm the failure. Where's the wiggle room for me? This is a big sign that I need to get away from him, pronto -- I used to look forward to my appts. Now I just dread going, but they are necessary evils for me at this point, and I should NOT feel this way!

Know what's really funny? After all this trouble, does he REALLY think I'd consider the GB with him? I told his PA that I didn't consider it b/c it was more risk than I was willing to take and that with all the problems, we don't know that the band won't work with me. How quick to move to the GB!

Edited June 2, 2009 by Scorpyian1
ADD.

[Scorpyian1 0]

Scorpyian1-who is your doctor? He/she sounds like an ***hole. You have to remember they are supposed to be "helping" you, what a jerk. I hope your new doctor can really listen and do what you need to help you!

Thanks -- I'm right on top of it. On June 16th I have an appt. with someone referred to me by a dearly loved Dr. I actually should have gone with him in the first place! Yeah..On 10/16/08 (my surgery date) I pretty much figured he was an AH.

[Headhunter 6]

Doctors can be complete idiots.

I DO think the band has some inherent flaws, BUT... MUCH of the difficulty experienced by people is the result of Doctors who don't always know quite what they are doing, or refuse to stand up and take responsibility for their actions, or their INactions.

One other issue comes to mind here. I think I have seen the advertisements for the Doctor you are speaking of. I think i'm seeing it right now, actually, on the right hand side of my screen....:frown:. The "single incision" concept is a nice idea, I suppose, but it has occurred to me that perhaps they are trying to do a little too much in too little space. I'm not a real big fan of having ANY kind or surgery, and I am in complete agreement that the fewer holes they punch in you, the better. BUT....people seem to be OVERLY concerned about the incision scars. who CARES if you have 3 or 4 or even 5 little, tiny, TINY scars on your tummy after having this surgery? Frankly, I think that trying to reduce this surgery to one itsy bitsy little hole is pushing it a little ......They need room to work, to be able to do it CORRECTLY....which, this Doctor didn't seem to be able to do.

And, I'm not all that sure i would WANT to be a Guinea Pig for ANY "Pioneering" surgery, UNLESS it was one that might save my life. And, I'm not sure that the promise of having a few less tiny belly scars qualifies.....

AND, you are NOT a failure, and don't let this cretin with a Sheepskin tell you are. HE's the failure.

HH

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Dump the doc...he sounds like a pompous jerk who doesn't want to work with you. Make an appointment with someone else to evaluate your problems. Get a second opinion! Then decide what you want to do based on that second opinion as well as the first. You'll have to go with your gut instinct on this one. Jachut hit the nail on the head! You need a doctor to work with you, not point a finger at you.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Your doc is an idiot. He may be a genius, but he's an idiot. Dump him.

I got banded 8/29 and until 5/7 and my last fill, pretty miuch thought I'd just paid A LOT for a pricey belt for my stomach..window dressing as it were but no use.

NOW I've lost over 1/2 of my total just since then. The difference? IT aint me, babe...it's restriction. I'm the same, it isn't.

It's not you, it's him.

[YankeeFanatic 0]

Thanks -- I'm right on top of it. On June 16th I have an appt. with someone referred to me by a dearly loved Dr. I actually should have gone with him in the first place! Yeah..On 10/16/08 (my surgery date) I pretty much figured he was an AH.

What Hospital did you get the surgery in. I am from New York And want to make sure I dont get that asshole.

[OnTheWay to Thin 0]

Hang in there and dont get down on yourself, try out the new doctor and explain all your fears and concerns. I am sure with a doctor that you can communicate with you will be on your way.

[Jachut 487]

Doctors can be complete idiots.

I DO think the band has some inherent flaws, BUT... MUCH of the difficulty experienced by people is the result of Doctors who don't always know quite what they are doing, or refuse to stand up and take responsibility for their actions, or their INactions.

One other issue comes to mind here. I think I have seen the advertisements for the Doctor you are speaking of. I think i'm seeing it right now, actually, on the right hand side of my screen....:wub:. The "single incision" concept is a nice idea, I suppose, but it has occurred to me that perhaps they are trying to do a little too much in too little space. I'm not a real big fan of having ANY kind or surgery, and I am in complete agreement that the fewer holes they punch in you, the better. BUT....people seem to be OVERLY concerned about the incision scars. who CARES if you have 3 or 4 or even 5 little, tiny, TINY scars on your tummy after having this surgery? Frankly, I think that trying to reduce this surgery to one itsy bitsy little hole is pushing it a little ......They need room to work, to be able to do it CORRECTLY....which, this Doctor didn't seem to be able to do.

And, I'm not all that sure i would WANT to be a Guinea Pig for ANY "Pioneering" surgery, UNLESS it was one that might save my life. And, I'm not sure that the promise of having a few less tiny belly scars qualifies.....

AND, you are NOT a failure, and don't let this cretin with a Sheepskin tell you are. HE's the failure.

HH

the only scar of mine that is detectable now is the port incision - the others even I cant find (and I know approximately where to look) - so I dont get the advantage of single incision when the other four are so tiny anyway.

[plain 12]

First off, in the interest of full disclosure, let me state that I myself can sometimes be a bit of an ass.

Having said that, I would look that asshat right in the eye and tell him to fix me, or I would show up at every lapband seminar he holds and very publicly ask the hard questions (such as - "What are the statistics on prolapse? You know, like what happened when you placed my band"). Furthermore, I would threaten to go to the local newspaper and tell my tale of woe, complete with names and costs.

But....like I said, I can be an ass.