Have you been Critisized for wanting the band?

[spud.mama 7]

As for me, everyone I've told (and I've told everyone that will listen) has been supportive.

I, too, am VERY open about it. I feel (and have noticed) that people need to be educated. Most everyone I talk to I have to explain the difference between LB and RNY. When I explain that I still have to do all the work that it just helps me not eat too much then they seem to understand.

Yesterday I talked to a 72 yr old woman who is now looking into having it done at my surgeons (wish I got free fills or sumthin for that. lol).

I do, however, tend to tell large people more that thin people, so I guess I choose who I want to educate. AND I have not told anyone in my family cuz I do know how judgmental they are and feel may sister may be more willing to look into it if she sees my success first.

[Sarah.R 2]

I've told maybe 6 people to there face and they have all been very supportive, then others found out from family members and some of them who I didn't expect to be supportive at all where actually really great about it - One surprise was from my grandmother who has always said little things on the side about my weight even though she isn't exactly slim, when she heard that I was having it she was ecstatic and so happy for me which was great coming from her.

I've had alot of health problems and I think that maybe that's why there so supportive, they know that I have other stuff wrong with me and in the long run this will help me. I worry about telling friends though because even tho they know I've had health problems they don't know the extent and they may just reply with something like "well why don't you just excercise?" Eventually I will tell them but right now isn't the right time. This is something I needed to do for myself if I wanted to live past 30 and I have no regrets about that and if people do find out for some reason and they aren't supportive then that's absolutely fine with me - I would rather associate with people that are supportive and are going to be there for me rather than those that are going to belittle me and say that I should have done something else.

The fact is if I didn't have this surgery and I have another flare up of the diease I have I WILL die, and I don't see how people can judge you on the fact that you want to live the healthiest possible life you can.

[talkalot1981 5]

I had another person critisize me today. I was at my 1 on 1 with the dietician today, then had to have a group meeting. At that group meeting we learned about what to expect after be banded. Well while waiting for the dietician to come in the room for the meeting a lady straight up tooked at me and said "Why the hell are you here, You don't even look like you need it" I was shocked. So was the other 3 people in the class. I told her "Your one of the reasons I don't tell anyone I am getting banded because I would rather surround myself with supportive people" Well after that she shut up. When the class was over she told the other 3 ladies that they ought to start up thier own support group. Didn't even look my way. Didn't even ask if I wanted to join. Just ignored me. It hurt my feeling so bad. When I was telling my husband about it he said the sweetest thing, "I will be your support system, plus don't you have people on THAT website that knows what you will be going through" Of course he was talking about LBT. Then I thought about it. He's right. I wouldn't want to join their support group anyway, they(well she) wouldn't be that supportive anyway. She just really pissed me off. I actually wanted the tell her to Shut Up you Stupid B***h. But my kids had to go with me and I didn't want them to see me like that. LOL But if they weren't there. LOL Anyway, Sorry it's a book..... Jennifer

Edited June 3, 2009 by talkalot1981

[keithf 2]

"Why the hell are you here, You don't even look like you need it"

If the surgeon put it around her neck it'd solve two problems at once. :wub:

[MemawFlorida 0]

No option for just plain "NO" ????

[Sarah.R 2]

I had another person critisize me today. I was at my 1 on 1 with the dietician today, then had to have a group meeting. At that group meeting we learned about what to expect after be banded. Well while waiting for the dietician to come in the room for the meeting a lady straight up tooked at me and said "Why the hell are you here, You don't even look like you need it" I was shocked. So was the other 3 people in the class. I told her "Your one of the reasons I don't tell anyone I am getting banded because I would rather surround myself with supportive people" Well after that she shut up. When the class was over she told the other 3 ladies that they ought to start up thier own support group. Didn't even look my way. Didn't even ask if I wanted to join. Just ignored me. It hurt my feeling so bad. When I was telling my husband about it he said the sweetest thing, "I will be your support system, plus don't you have people on THAT website that knows what you will be going through" Of course he was talking about LBT. Then I thought about it. He's right. I wouldn't want to join their support group anyway, they(well she) wouldn't be that supportive anyway. She just really pissed me off. I actually wanted the tell her to Shut Up you Stupid B***h. But my kids had to go with me and I didn't want them to see me like that. LOL But if they weren't there. LOL Anyway, Sorry it's a book..... Jennifer

Ugh that is so rude. Man you're lucky I wasn't their with you if I heard someone say that and they where getting the band as well and they said in front of others I just would of been like "Same reason your getting it FATTY" I mean ugh, that's pissed me off. I can't believe a person getting the band can be that shallow. Old hag. Lol sorry

[Minxz 0]

I have told VERY few people. Funny that the healthy ones are very supportive of me and the heavy ones immediately launch into a story about a friends, cousins sisters brother who died of WLS.

My family has been very supportive they are not heavy like I am and have seen my mental and physical health decline as I've put on weight.

I haven't told many people because I don't want to hear their opinions and I don't want to be watched. People who haven't done the research I have are going to have much higher expectations on my WL than is likely with the band and I don't want to deal with other peoples expectations my own are stressful enough lol.

[Jachut 487]

Obesity is such a complex disease isnt it? any other disease if someone offered you up a solution you'd be all over it. But with obesity, some people just react so badly when the answer is put in front of them. They dont get intersted, they put the surgery down and make it sound like you're shallow and stupid for wanting to do it.

I wonder why? Why do people subconsciously want to hang onto their fat? You dont find people subconsciousy wanting to hang onto their diabetes or heart disease. Its so weird. Its good to get on these threads and have a vent about nasty people but in truth, I doubt its ever motivated by pure nastiness, there's a whole host of things going on in their heads.

But I personally dont have time to deal with people's issues, lol. I'd just tell them where to get off.

[Minxz 0]

I so agree Jachut though you sound a little braver than me on telling people where to get off lol.

I think weight is so tied up with peoples emotional and mental selves that its not just a physical thing its become a part of their identity so if you tell someone heavy your getting surgery they subconsciously feel accused and attacked while thin people have no grasp of the struggle so just think you are being lazy. Not everyone but still a large quantity seem to. Its weird.

[hope2bthinr 0]

If the surgeon put it around her neck it'd solve two problems at once.

I am laughing so hard the people next door probably heard me!!! Too, too funny!!!:redface:

[NiceWillSuffice 0]

I guess this is hardly a scientific poll and so far just under 50 people replied.

But thus far the results are overwhelmingly positive. Only a couple people have had total negitive response, and 4 people had 50% negitive response. But 80% of us have receieved 0-2% critisism. The rest of us either don't care or didn't tell anyone.

This tells me the vast majority of us are not likely to be critisised (to our face anyway ha ha).

Poll is open 30- days total. Would love to see how the numbers change over the weeks...