Is this the right thing to do???

[abcangirl 0]

:crying: Hi, very new to this. Have been reading up on Lap-Band for about a year or so now.

Have had pre-opt testing, and and am scheduled for surgery in beginning of July/09. :thumbup:

I am extremely nervious. Always considered surgery the last resort. Now after yo-yo dieting for years, it's come to that....but what if it doesn't work?

Just like all the "fad" diets?

I'm not looking to get super-model skinny, just healthy, and fit!

Am I just trying to talk myself out of surgery because I am affraid of failing again? Please if anyone has gone thru this, pls let me know how you got past it! I am now doubting myself, thinking this won't work, and why am I throwing my money away!

Soooooo confused.....

[losinit 0]

I have only just begun my pre-op testing.

My suggestion is to attend the next local support group. Mine is at my local hospital. I was uncertain as well until I went and saw all these people who had had lost weight and all told me their story about how they would absolutely do it over again in a heartbeat. From newly operated on, to some who had had for a few years. I found it to be SO helpful in calming any fears that I had. No one can tell you better than someone who has already been through it.

Be determined to be successful, you can do it!!

[abcangirl 0]

Dear Losinit;

One of my problems is that there is no supposrt group where I am! We are a Canadian family, living in Thailand. My surgery will be done here, but there is no 'english' support services.... Thanks for the bout of confidence tho, glad to know others have second thoughts!:crying:

[jazzy3902 0]

I had my surgery on the 18th of this month. I had 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th thoughts about having this.:crying: Now that this is done I know it's right for me, I've changed my attitude a lot about food, not to say I won't have many more battles to go through! I had to go through 6 months of dietician visits and it was all worth it - i lost weight during this and adjusted my thinking. These forums help...just read, read, read and then ask what you need cleared up. Good luck to you.

[losinit 0]

Since you have computer access how about just going to the youtube lapband video blogs. Its not interaction but they are encouraging. Another thing, maybe someone on here who has been through this whole process can do some type of webcam with you..... IDK. You do have a unique situation.

GL!

[SunnyRachel 7]

Hi! Congratulations on all your hard work and your scheduled surgery date!!

Your doubts will continue, and it's only natural. I will tell you that you will probably also have moments after the surgery when you question yourself again and your decision. That's the human thing to do, right?

What's really the hardest part is not being able to see into the future. When you are standing here right now, you want results now. We are all driven by the "now". It is much too hard to look beyond that and see the bigger picture. We somehow think there is a finish line and that it has to be soon -- around the corner...just in reach.

What helped me is this:

1. I had to abandon the idea of a finish line. I had to tell myself that any amount of weight that I no longer had to carry around on my body would be a welcomed help. So the statistics said I should have lost 150 pounds, but I knew that taking any extra burden off of my heart and my bones would be so much better for me. Even if it was just ten pounds that I never put back on... what a difference! I wanted to not gain weight anymore. I was watching it climb. I needed to stop the gaining, but the more I tried to lose weight, the more I gained.

2. I had to look back and admit the truth. Since I couldn't see the future, I looked back at my past -- I keep journals... and I found myself writing the same entry over and over again... it started out with, "My goal is to lose 10 lbs. a month! I can do this! I will be healthy this time next year!"

Next year always came for me, and I was either in the same place, or worse off. So I had to get real with myself. I looked in the mirror and said, "Yeah, I know I feel like a failure because this feels like the last resort, but face it, I can't do this alone!" If I could do it just with my own willpower and determination, I would have already.

An orthopedic surgeon looked at me and basically said, "Yeah, I know your herniated disk is killing your sciatic nerve. I know you can't sit. I know you are miserable. I can't operate on you though and give you relief because you are too fat and will just herniate the disk again anyway." I was so mad! But that's also when I knew I had to stop this from getting worse.

I had to look at my past and decide that a year is going to pass anyway... am I going to let it pass full of pain and broken promises...or am I going to admit that it's okay to ask for help?

I am the kind of person that needed this help. My own common sense was not strong enough to stop my hand from putting a fork full of food into my mouth when I didn't need it...but the band IS strong enough to stop me now.

So people say it's not a quick fix... I disagree.

Yeah, you are not going to just melt away into your ideal BMI in a blink of an eye. BUT.... I HAVE quickly been fixed in terms of my relationship with food. I see food differently. I don't feel out of control just at the thought of eating something good. I am more conscious about what kind of food I'm going to eat so as to get the most out of the little space I have for it to fit in.

I am carrying less weight today. I feel so much better. I am a work in progress. Getting the band did not take the pounds off... getting the band taught me how to forget seeing food left on my plate as a bad thing...and actually listen to my body for a change. Personally, I needed that. I can see the big picture now... time is passing still, but I actually am changing.

My point is this: Sometimes we need to approach things from outside of ourselves. Throw away preconceived notions from past weight-loss attempts. The band is not just a treadmill that you got excited about in the beginning but just ended up collecting laundry in the corner. It's not just a Weight Watcher's membership that you started off great with but then stopped going to the meetings or counting your points. Those things are tools that you can walk away from -- sure, you feel a tug of guilt, but what's really going to happen to you if you miss meetings or don't hop on that equipment? Who is going to come to hurt you or punish you? The band does not let you walk away from it. It is there 24/7 in your body reminding you to make healthy choices every day. Yes, it's scary. It's hard. It's a life change. It's a commitment. It's a tool. It's a meanie if you treat it badly...but it won't let you turn your back on it. It won't let you give up. It won't let you try again on Monday. It's every moment...not "Oh well, after the holidays!" It will kick your butt until your brain learns what to do and you no longer say the word "diet" in that way again. You are just living in your new normal and not having to put much thought into it.

Can you fail? Yes. Will it be easy to fail this time? No. This time you really have to intentionally fail. This time it's not just you had no time or got distracted or there was always a good family BBQ -- this time you had to ignore and blatantly go against all you have tried to accomplish. To me, it is really hard to intend to fail.

So the real question to really ask yourself is: Is this what I NEED? You already know the answer... but now just listen to it and believe in the answer.

You can do anything, with or without the band...and I wish you the best! One thing is for sure...you have lots of friends here to be by your side!

Edited May 28, 2009 by SunnyRachel

[abcangirl 0]

OMG! SunnyRachel! Thankyou SO much! I got tears rolling down my face! What you have said and how you have said it...really hits the spot! What you have said is so true, and you are right, I already know the answer, and what I need to do! Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me, you wouldn't imagine how much you have !!

:crying:

-abcangirl

[abcangirl 0]

Thankyou!!!

[SunnyRachel 7]

**hugs**

You're welcome! You can do this! I didn't think I could, but I am doing it...and you will do it too. You will amaze yourself when you see how strong you really are when put to the test.

[hope2bthinr 0]

Wow!! Sunny Rachel, I was feeing the same as abcan and thinking about all the failures and wondering "well, how will this attempt be so different? why should I try this thing knowing how big a failure it could be, financially asa well as psychologically?" Your post is so RIGHT ON!!! I need whatever therapy got you there! Heh, heh, heh!! You have some great insight.

[2livesmart 0]

I went through the exact same thing!!! I researched it for about a year and a half and after yo yo dieting and taking the pills I gave it a shot. It is the best thing that I have done for my weight loss. You definitely have to do what is right for you. If you get the channel look at my journey on you tube. My screen name is 2livesmart. I actually have a video talking about whether or not getting the lap band surgery is another weight loss fad. Also, find a local support group and connect with others that have the band. It will definitely help.

If you have questions please do not hesitate to ask. I had and still have plenty. I have only been banded for 5 months. Good luck on your journey. I wish you all the best!

[spongealan 0]

Sunnyrachel,

Thank you for lifting me out of my current negative spell! I am 5 days pre surgery and I am starting to let some of the not so happy stories get to me.:thumbup:

That post should be required reading for all who embark on this journey.

One word: "THANKS":thumbup:

Alan

[THEBIGGESTLOSER427 0]

I am very early in my journey, and I was told by the psychologist that I WOULD NOT BE SUCCESSFUL! At first I did not make the connection as to what he said. Simply put he suggested that because my life is so stressful (i.e. working two jobs, raising three children as a single parent, trying to finish my doctorate) that my lifestyle is not conducive for making the changes required to keep the weight off. Also because I've experienced some traumatic events in my childhood and never sought counseling this heightened my likelihood of failure. It took me three days to get over this "evaluation" and decided that I'd take the good and proceed forward. Has anyone experienced a not so Enlightened consult? Did this affect the overall decision of the surgery?