Doubts and worries

[Alexandra 55]

My surgery date is just under 4 weeks away, and this is finally starting to seem real. For the last year I've never had a single doubt that this is the right step to take, and I still feel that way--in daylight hours.

And yet... Sometimes when I can't sleep unwelcome thoughts occur. For example, I haven't had any surgery in the last 19 years and the very idea of general anesthesia scares me. The picture of my abdomen being inflated by gas I will later have to expel is unappealing, to say the least. My DH has now come around, but when I started researching WLS he thought I was nuts for considering going under the knife for anything less than a life-or-death scenario.

And then there's the idea of the foreign object being implanted--permanently--inside me to regulate my intake. The whole concept is weird and even a little creepy if I let it get to me. I wonder whether I'll ever be able to forget it's there and just go about my business. The whole point of this exercise is to be normal, but will that ever be possible with a band inside me?

As eager as I am to start the journey, as the date gets closer I'm afraid these nighttime worries will get worse. I keep trying to reassure myself that compared to giving birth, laparascopic surgery is a walk in the park. (Am I right about that? Please tell me I am!) And I've been so far away from "normal" for the last 41 years that I wouldn't know it if it kicked me in the shins.

So what was your inner pep talk? Share!

[jellybelly 0]

Alexandra,

I can totally relate to the feelings you are expressing. I had my surgery on May 15 of this year and had much of the same thoughts you are having. One of the things I kept telling myself was "where will you be if you don't have this surgery?" It felt like life or death to me and I chose life by having the surgery. When I first came to after the surgery, I thought "why in the world did I do this?" But since then, I've NEVER regretted it. I've lost 34 pounds and exercise every day. I'm so glad I chose life!! I hope this was helpful...

Jen

[meswede 1]

Dearest Alexandra,

Think of your lap band as your Buddy! I've thought of it being inside me as no different than someone needing a pace maker. This is your Buddy that will help you reach your goal to better health and help you move and skip around and do the happy dance every day! I have had several surgeries and really this one is quite an easy one to recover from. I was up and out of bed as soon as they wheeled me into my room and by 10 days post op I was back to cleaning my house and feeling like a million bucks ... especially when I already have 17 pounds off only two weeks post op. The short recovery time will all be worth it and your body will thank you! YOU GO GIRL ... Sucess is yours right around the corner!!!

Wishing you peaceful nights of slumber,

Lori in Oregon

Dr. Rumbaut 07/09/03 (265/248/140)

[FDATrialGuineaPig 7]

Alexandra you're normal. It's a gigantic life decision!

I think that most of here however would say that we don't regret it for a second and wish we could have done it ten years ago!

Just realize the surgery is the easy part...the hard part is just around the corner (kinda like childbirth...you think that's the hard part but the real fun is just beginning!)

Robin

[Alexandra 55]

Thanks for the replies! I love the analogy of a pacemaker--somehow that's easier to embrace than a restrictive band around my stomach. And yes, Robin, I can totally relate to your image of childbirth and beyond. (Although sometimes I find myself wondering if I should have taken THAT step, too! )

The rewards will all be worth it. Everyday I'm becoming more aware of the ways in which my weight limits my life. Thinking about how that is going to change erases my doubts, even at night.

[leo 4]

Originally posted by Alexandra

So what was your inner pep talk? Share!

Well, I guess guys are a little different from women. One day I just decided that I needed to do something and I started to look at my options. I found out about the lapband and I looked for a Doctor and thats basically it. It took me then 2 weeks from the first day I called Andres till the date of surgery.

Well thats how my pre op went.

I just want to say, Hang in there Alexandra it's all going to be worth in once you see the first 10lbs fall off!

[tangerine 44]

Alexandra, what you're feeling is perfectly normal!

I had a few little panic attacks before my surgery too. I would start thinking about what they would be doing to me while I was unconscious and freak. lol

I would have to start doing something else to take my mind off of it, or if it was while I was trying to sleep, I'd focus on some deep breathing and relaxation. I'll tell you though, I went from all of that anxiety to elation once I found out in the recovery room that I did indeed have a band. I was thrilled! Then I burped!

As far as the gas thing goes, I didn't have horrible gas pains like some people describe. In fact, I didn't have any at all. Maybe you'll get lucky like I did.

Getting the band was the absolute best thing I have ever done for myself. Ever. And you'll realize that too once the weight starts coming off. But I do agree that the last few weeks before surgery can be rough. Hang in there, deeeeep breathe, you'll be okay!

[Alexandra 55]

Hey Alexis, thanks for reminding me about the wake-up moment! That's what I need to concentrate on, not the rest of it.

[tangerine 44]

The wake up moment was an indescribable feeling.

Me: (croaking to the anesthesiologist as they were wheeling me into recovery) Do I have a band?

Anesthesiologist: Shh...rest, don't talk now.

Me: Just tell me if I have a band!

Anesthesiologist: Shhh...relax.

Me: Damnit, just tell me if I have a band!

Anesthesiologist: Yes, yes, you have a band!

Me: *sigh* *buuuuuuuuuuuuuurp*

I was SO terrified that I'd go through with this surgery, only to find out that they couldn't place the band for some odd reason. That was my biggest fear. I swear, when he told me that I had a band, I'd never been filled with so much joy in my life.

[Rab607 4]

Tangerine,

That is the funniest thing I ever read! I would have killed to be able to burp in the first 3 days let alone in post-op!! Thanks for making me smile......

Alexandria......I think we all worried, thats what we do. You are a smart, bright woman, and you have done your homework. What I did was look at the other options (continue my other weight loss options....you know the ones that all failed) or take a chance at life. I knew where I would be if I didnt have this surgery. Just keep breathing.......Good Luck!

Joann

07/18/03

307/281.5/170

[Guest Tavey]

The surgery was a breeze. The peptalk. Looking and feeling better than I've ever looked or felt in the last ten years. The stress of being overweight would be lifted from my shoulders. I always worried if I would fit into the chair, if I would break the chair. Can I do this or am I too big to be doing it? I worried about my ability to find someone to share my life with. To not have to think and worry about things like this is one of the best benefits. Best of All, I don't worry about my health, I know it's getting better.

[BEBBLY 1]

My surgery is scheduled for Thursday August 7th, and of course I was up at 4 a.m. thinking about it. I have read all the posts and find that most people have more than 100lbs. to lose. I am 60lbs. over weight and with the history of heart problems and diabetes in the family, I was able to find a doctor to preform the procedure.

I am soooooooooo nervous. Eventhough I have tried all weightloss methods known to mankind, a part of me still feels like I failed. Did anyone else feel this way before surgery? But I know if I don't take control now, I have no problem topping 250lbs. in the next year. So what's a girl to do?

My father is a physician and he will accompany me to the hospital so there is some comfort. I guess my biggest concern is enjoying food again. Is that possible or do you always feel deprived because you can't finish your plate or your hamburger?

I'd like to hear from those that really enjoyed food pre-op, and how they feel about it now.

[tangerine 44]

I still enjoy food very much, if not more now. I actually take the time to taste it now. I'm one of the lucky ones who can still eat any foods without problems after banding, so I haven't had to give up anything. I don't feel frustrated when I can't finish something. One of my favorite things about food was leftovers, and now I *always* have them. I love to bring stuff home from restaurants, so it's not a big deal to box up the other half of my burger, or whatever it was that I was eating!

I have felt the frustration of not being able to binge once or twice though. My biggest comfort was binge eating. Loads and loads of food consumed very quickly. I'm talking about 5-7,000 calories in an hour. But I don't miss that despairing feeling that would come over me after a binge. So while, at times, I miss the actual process of the binge, I don't miss how it made me feel afterwards. It was comforting while I was doing it, but horrible afterwards. My little shock collar keeps me in check for the most part, and I really don't feel deprived at all. I feel freed actually. Freed from the bonds of emotional eating.

It's so hard to explain this to a pre-op. I didn't believe it myself when I was a pre-op. All I knew was that I was ready to sever my relationship with food. I didn't know how easy it would actually be. Best of luck to you...and good for you for catching your problem while you "only" have 60lbs to lose!

[Alex Brecher 10,512]

Alexandra,

I researched Bariatric surgeries over a year ago when I was around 225 Pounds. I decided that I'd try to loose the weight with other diets one last time before I'd consider surgery. I tried around 5-10 diets and I lost weight with every one of them. The problem is that I kept on gaining weight each time I went off any of the diets. I hit 247 around 4 months ago and I decided that I had to take drastic action. I went to an information session with my wife at New York University given by Dr. Ren and I was very impressed. At the end of the session I was 100% sure that I wanted to go ahead with the Lap-band procedure. I thought about it for a few weeks and I was a little nervous. I did tons of research online and I decided to take the dive. I called Dr. Ren at the beginning of July and made an appointment with her for that same week. I met with her and she asked me if I wanted to think it over...I told her I had thought about it already and I scheduled a surgery date for July 25th. When I went to her office a few days later the secretary told me there was a spot open on July 18th. At first I was really nervous since it was only a few days away and I had prepared myself mentally for the 25th. I decided that it didn't really make much of a difference and I was going to jump into this head first. I didn't think much about the surgery or the anesthesia until I was on the operating table . They put me out pretty quickly and I don't remember anything else except waking up in the recovery room. I wasn't in pain, just a little groggy.

It's been less than 2 weeks since my surgery and if not for my small bandages on my stomach I'd forget about the band. I feel 100% NORMAL.

You might pass some gas after your surgery but it's not like you'll be farting uncontrollably for a week or two

[BEBBLY 1]

Thank you. I kept thinking about trying yet another diet but any way I look at it I know that I will probably lose some weight and then gain even more back. It is a vicious cycle. I remember once I didn't eat bread, rice, or potatoes for a whole year and yes I lost 27lbs. but when I incorporated those things in my daily life again, I gained the weight back within 4 months and then some.

I guess I am looking to lose weight without suffering all the time from one failed diet to another. Yoyo dieting is one of the worst things you can do to your body. And I don't think I could handle it emotionally any more.

I guess I will take one big breath and just dive in. I will post my results when I get back. Just think next week this time I may already be banded!!!

Mary