Is anyone keeping their surgery a secret?

[Lady Lap Band 71]

I live with my mom, dad and husband, so those are the only three people who know. In the begining it was really hard not to blurt it out to people. But now that my surgery is almost here, I am really glad I kept it to myself. A lot of people who have this surgery also have a hiatled hernia, so that is what I am choosing to tell work. Those are the only people I have to give some sort of explaination to. Other than that I am telling everyone else nothing. You have to work hard with lifestyles changes even with the band, eating right and exercising. That is what I plan to tell people when they ask what I am doing!

[I'MREADY 0]

I have only told my husband and my boss, who is a very close friend that I want to start the process. If I am approved, I will try and take vacation time so no one at work will know until it is over and I am ready to tell them.

[For My Health 0]

I told my family in small increments, - still not everyone knows. I have told NONE of my co-workers - they are gossipy and mean spirited people. As I lose weight I've decided to tell them I am eating smaller portions and working out more, which I will be doing.

My surgery is Tuesday May 19th (less than 72 hours!) and I just told my mom today. She didn't seem to have feelings one way or the other. I thought she would be mad.

Tell who you want when you want and be happy with your decision. I'm rooting for you and I wish you all the success!

[melliecat 55]

I am being banded June 5th and have only told my immediate family- only my hubby, mother in law and sister in law. I have told them I am keeping it private, and am confident they will not tell anyone.

I have taken off of work for the surgery and told my co-workers I am having hiatal hernia surgery, which is very similar.

Why? I am confident about my decision and don't feel like I have to prove it to anyone, and don't want to be in the position of having to defend my decision. I am not comfortable being the center of attention and this will definitely make me the topic of conversation for some time. I want it to be private, just as if I was having like a female surgery.

thats my .02

[lapbandbarb 0]

When I was first banded, I didn't tell too many people. Just my husband, kids, sister and a few close friends. I should have kept it that way!

Now that I am at goal, for some reason, I find myself telling more people. And sometimes, I regret it. People, some I hardly know, are coming out of the woodwork saying "you lost a lot of weight. How did you do it?" Well, most of the time and in the past, I always just said, "I stopped overeating and started exercising for my health" end of story. The other day, a mother in my daughter's Girl Scout Troop, who is about 150 lbs overweight comment and I said "Do you want to know, but I do not tell too many people, I got the lapband and it is the best thing I have ever done!" She looked mortified and I was instantly sorry that I had told her! She walked away from me! And I saw her talking and looking at me with another mom. I felt horrible. I was really just trying to help her by telling her. I thought maybe she would be interested and I could mentor her or something. She must have felt insulted or something! All I could think is what a B--ch! And now, I think everyone in my whole town will know. I am not ashamed but people are so ignorant and judge mental. Not to mention JEALOUS!!!! I know that I have done allot of work to get this weight off and it is her problem but I still feel bad. The only thing that I feel might come good of telling people is that it motivates me to not gain the weight back!(Not that I think I could with the band) Good luck to everyone just starting out on your band journey. You are in for a ride!

[lapbandbarb 0]

I am confident about my decision and don't feel like I have to prove it to anyone, and don't want to be in the position of having to defend my decision. I am not comfortable being the center of attention and this will definitely make me the topic of conversation for some time. I want it to be private, just as if I was having like a female surgery.

thats my .02

What good thinking and exactly how I feel. I'm glad I did not tell anyone before I lost the weight and no more telling now, either!

[missy0 0]

I have my surgery on Tuesday and only my immediate family knows. None of my friends or coworkers know. You are definitely not alone. but if you're friends aren't supportive they're not your friends. the situation might get worse after surgery, once you've lost weight and feel better about yourself. I would only hope though that once they've seen you after surgery and the lengths you went thru to get it they would understand and see it as the most positive and selfish thing you could do for yourself.

[Sarah.R 2]

I choose not to tell people mainly because of the exact reason you gave, some will be jealous - At the time I started this entire thing only my mum knew as she came with me to appointments, then we went to a family bbq and she told my aunt so for a while only those 2 knew (plus my dad) then my aunt being who she is got drunk and blurted it to my cousins, had no clue about that until they rang me for my birthday and said "So mum told me your surgery was cancelled." Didn't really know how to respond to that so I just mmm. But the thing is, they've been great, my cousin's husband who I thought would be the last person I would tell actually rang me and said that he knew I'd gone thru alot and this was going to help me, so it was great hearing that from him - It's amazing when you get a positive reaction from someone you didn't think would. So now alot of my family know and alot don't. As for friends, I probably won't tell them, I have health problems and they know that but they don't know the extent and although I wish I could share it with them, I don't want to loose a great friendship over that (petty I know) so for now I'm not telling them - Eventually when I'm comfortable with everything I will but who knows when that will be, as for when we go out for dinner or whatever and they say "wow you've lost weight, what are you doing" I'll just give them an honest answer - I've cut out most carbs which is the truth, with the band you cut out alot of bread, rice and Pasta and that's exactly what will be happening so really I'm telling them some of the truth.

I'm sorry to hear that your friends weren't helpful but there are alot of supportive people on here that always make up for it.

[jessicastatzer 0]

I am scheduled for surgery next week. I only told my husband prior to being approved by my insurance. I thought there was no point mentioning it until I knew for sure that it was going to happen.

Since approval I have told friends,family and coworkers openly about it. I made the decision to do this because I work in a public school in a small community. A year and a half ago one of my co-workers told everyone she was having gal bladder surgery and then miraculously starting dropping lots of weight afterwards. She looks fantastic now but people at work are always saying "I heard she had lapband....I heard she admitted to to so and so" "I don't know why she won't admit it now that she's lost all the weight".....etc..etc. I don't know if she had the procedure or not but I do know that if she did people don't concentrate on being supportive and happy for her...they focus on wondering if she did or didn't have the surgery. I guess she would feel foolish to admit to it now if shes been lying about it all this time. I don't want that to be me.

This made me decide to be open about it. I am owning up to the surgery and I hope I have great results and everyone can say yes she had lapband and yes she looks fabulous!

[BHalf31 0]

I definitely think doing this is the right thing but I don't think everyone needs to know how the weight was lost. I'm just at the begining of the process but I've only told my mom and my boyfriend. I'm nervous that people will think I'm taking the easy way out but I know that I have tried everything else to no avail. I'm not sure how I'll field questions thought once I start to lose weight. Anyone been in this situation?

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I told my oldest sister my plans for band surgery and she was VERY negative. At that point I decided this was MY decision and nobody's business. After the surgery I didn't care who knew. I just didn't want other people's opinions to influence my decision. I am proud of my decision and don't really care what anybody thinks about it. I still have to do all the work. I'm the one who goes walking every night after work, I'm the one who goes to the gym, the band helps me to eat less but I'm doing the hardest part. My advice is to be true to yourself and the heck with what anybody thinks. Good luck to you!

[lndshark 0]

I don't hide it, I feel like I'm being dishonest. I've had a few conversations with some judgemental assholes, let me recap a few for you.

haye you lost weight?

yes, I got a band.

Couldn't you have just dieted?

Go f(*$& yourself.

number 2

have you lost weight?

yes I got a band.

that stupid all you needed to do was eat less and exercise.

Go F*^*#$ yourself.

See it's that easy.

[FailureIsntAnOption 0]

I don't hide it, I feel like I'm being dishonest. I've had a few conversations with some judgemental assholes, let me recap a few for you.

haye you lost weight?

yes, I got a band.

Couldn't you have just dieted?

Go f(*$& yourself.

number 2

have you lost weight?

yes I got a band.

that stupid all you needed to do was eat less and exercise.

Go F*^*#$ yourself.

See it's that easy.

LOL! Too funny! I couldn't have said it better.

[lola0806 0]

I decided to only tell a few close coworkers, one of whom is also banded and my immediate family. Like many of you, I didn't want people watching to see what I'm eating and watching my weight come off. Even though I've had several fills, I still don't feel much of a restriction, so if I wasn't watching what I ate and exercised most of this weight would still be on me. And that's what I tell people who have commented on my weight loss, I watch what I eat, smaller portions, better food choices and I exercise. My husband thinks I should tell anyone that asks that I was banded because he doesn't think it's some to be ashamed of but proud because I decided to do something about my health and weight. Maybe one day I will, but for now only the handful of people that know are the only one who will know.

[Cingulus 0]

The key for item me in reading your note is not if you tell people or not. Somehow, it will eventually get out. The key issue is to brace and prepare yourself for detractors...Let's face it many people (i don't have scientific data, but I would guess about 50%) do not have a positive view of WLS or the people who have it done.

Personally, I will tell if asked, but otherwise I am not promoting my plans. I am in the "Go F$&% yourself, if you don't like it" camp. However, I know it is not always easy for everyone to do that or to be so cavalier about other peoples thoughts.

All I can tell you is not everyone will understand and support you. Just focus on your goals, doing the right things to help reach your goals and how good it will feel when you achieve those goals. Many people can't feel good unless they make others feel bad first. Don't let them get in your way.