Is anyone keeping their surgery a secret?

[Dreamjeans 0]

It seems like EVERY TIME I diet someone has opinions about the way I'm doing things, it's so annoying! I really want to keep this one to myself and find it hard not saying anything to anyone. I keep telling myself that once its out then everyone will know and keep an eye on me. If there is any issues then I'm sure I will hear it.

How do you guys not tell people without lying? Ive told two of my closest friends and they aren't really support since they are fat too and are jealous/think its too drastic

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I tell people...it's just my nature. I don't really care what people think usually anyway and no one has ever been negative or hateful to me about it. So...telling works for me.

[wendy18 0]

You are not alone. I have been researching lap band for a long time and have made my mind up in getting one. I start my medical exams in a week and half and hope to have my surgery by end of July. I have only told a few people at work because I do not want to hear how I could have just done it on my own. :rolleyes2:

[Dreamjeans 0]

I guess one thing I have learned in all of the process is that WE are losing the weight, not the band! But other people just don't get that. I just don't want them to think that oh, its because she has that thing in her and that is why she is successful. But in someway that is true... MY other thought is that I have always wanted to go into nutrition, I find it fascinating but I"m worried that if they found out I have the band they won't take me seriously. I would have a hard time listening to someone if they had one.

I'm beginning to realize that my wait to get the band has been a good one! I'm learning a lot about myself and about the way I want to do things. If I had just gone and done self pay like I was going to instead of jumping the insurance hoops I would miss everything I figuring out now.

Restless Monkey, you are so right. It is just easier to be able to tell the truth. I just don't think that my circle of friends and family really get it and its easier to just keep them in the dark for now. Although, I'm sure they would feel hurt if they found out eventually.. not that its really any of their business.

[newmel 0]

i kind of feel the same way. I have tried so many diets and i always gain the weight back. I have in laws who lost weight with herbal life shakes, they think I should be able to also . I do drink the shakes but I can't do them all the time . I realize you have to do liquids for a while which I can do. For some reason I feel ashamed that I have to resort to surgery, but I feel like my health is important. This is my last chance. I really feel like this site helps because everyone knows how i feel . I will probably tell people but after the surgery .

good luck to all .

[Dana36 0]

Only my close family, one friend and my supervisor knows what I am doing. The only reason that my supervisor knows is because we are super close and she is extremely supportive of me and my choices.

I'm not telling anyone else because I don't want to be criticized all the time.. I don't want them staring at everything I put in my mouth and talking about me behind my back.. which I think a lot of people will do.

I'm in month 3 of my 6 month pre op diet before submitting to the insurance company, and I'm missing, on average 1-2 days a month from work. My coworkers know that I am missing, and some have had questions about why I'm going to the dr so much, is something wrong? I just tell people that I am fine, healthy, but that I am very private about my health. If anything is wrong, I'll let them know, but right now, I'm just doing some preventative maintenance.

[lotsabirds 0]

I don't know why I can't figure out this tracker thing! Oh well, so I post without one. I have only told my daughter and a friend, both that have a band and of course, my husband. I feel the same way. ashamed of how many times I've lost and gained it all back. I don't want to hear "well if she'd just work out and stop eating she'd lose it". I can lose it, I just can't maintain it. Damn, Sure I wish I could but I need help and hopefully this is it. If you're an alcoholic you don't take that first drink. With a food addiction it's different. You have to eat. You have to take that first bite. You know, the people that don't understand why I can't "just do it" seem to be the ones with a cigerette in their mouth. You know, the ones that say they could quit if they want to?:ohmy:0

[Libbyjane1976 1]

When I was doing my pre-testing I only told my mom and my best friend. I didn't tell everyone else until I had my surgery date scheduled. Then I told my other friends and co-workers. Now that i've had surgery I don't really say anything to anybody I just tell them it's from changing my eating habits and exercising. Everyone i've met has been really supportive and nobody's ever been negative.

[tkr 0]

I am scheduled for sugery on July 24 (first available date dr. had) and have only told my husband and 1 friend.....and for now that will be all I tell)

[sarahstarjd 0]

Only me and my husband know.

[elcee 3,341]

I have only told my husband, I haven't even told my children. DD 20 away at uni would probably try to put me off and tell me I just need to exercise more, DS 14 not very good at keeping secrets so it would slip out when I didn't want it to.

Apart from that only the people in the support groups I have joined know.

At some stage in the future I may tell more people but I don't see why I need to tell everyone. I am a fairly private person and feel that my medical problems are exactly that MINE!

[Cleo's Mom 257]

jenzea: You do not have to tell anyone about your banding if you choose not to. That is personal, medical information. Keep in mind, however, that your unsupportive friends might not be your friends after you lose the weight. They sound jealous and not like true friends. Obesity is a disease and diets fail 95% of the time. Would a doctor or anyone else promote something that failed 95% of the time? WLS is the only thing that has shown long term success for obesity. But it is still hard work. Good luck.

[Weigh2Fat 0]

I think there are pros and cons either way you go. I have a banded friend who advised me not to tell anyone because she hated the post-surgical, "How much have you lost now?" or "Should you be eating that?" It was constant at her work place. However, I did tell my friends, family, co-workers, (and the nice stranger on the plane last month!). I would say 90% are very supportive and can't wait to see the results. 5% are in that, "You just need to eat smaller portions and exercise more" group and 5% fall into that group of chubby girls who can't stand to see another chubby girl lose weight. The main reason I decided to be open about my decision is that I hope it will help keep me honest. I know the judges are watching, so I must perform. Does that make sense? Either way - it has to be what you're comfortable with before during and after your success. Losing weight is stressful enough without having to worry about what everyone else is thinking! Good Luck!

[LT34 0]

I have chosen to keep my surgery just between my mom and 3 close friends. I had heard both negative and positive comments about people who choose to have surgery. I feel like the only opinion that matters in this situation is yours. I only told my mom because I wanted her to be there with me, and surprisingly she has been completely supportive of the whole process. I will be honest with people if they ask me, but i wont go and dish out my personal information just cause. And I think they has been the best thing for me.

[Richardson 1]

i kind of feel the same way. I have tried so many diets and i always gain the weight back. I have in laws who lost weight with herbal life shakes, they think I should be able to also . I do drink the shakes but I can't do them all the time . I realize you have to do liquids for a while which I can do. For some reason I feel ashamed that I have to resort to surgery, but I feel like my health is important. This is my last chance. I really feel like this site helps because everyone knows how i feel . I will probably tell people but after the surgery .

good luck to all .

I agree if the Band if used for Medical Reasons can only be a Positive thing for anyone!

Why do we feel obliged to memtion it to everyone?

Enjoy the attention when people see you are Losing as they surely will.

I will be saying I am on the Lighter Life if asked / Low Carb which is not a lie as the Band is only a Tool to makr it more possible and permanent.

Its Your choice... I have an Occupational Injury to the Lower Back, and a Weak Rt Knee. High Blood Pressure, Depression etc.. These fulfil the Criteria... So for me it is the best present I could give mysel!

Be Positive!:laugh:

Add I also think that Other People always want you to FAIL as this makes them feel better! just a bit of Psychology... The main thing is that you are doing it for yourself, it will improve your Quality of Life and If your Family Love you they Should Support you all the way! I would keep it to yourself....

Edited May 19, 2009 by Richardson
Addendum