Struggling with emotions!!

[BookWormJoy 7]

I was recently banded. Everything is well with that until I had to say good-bye to my family who was visiting me from another country. I have just come back from the airport and I am devastated. My coping skills used to center from drinking (but I am sober as of 2001), smoking (quite that last summer), and, of course, EATING...I even went to an all-you-can-eat buffet and only ate one plate of food (which by all previous accounts) is UNHEARD of. No longer is it satisfying bcs. I need to chew the shit out of all the food I put in my mouth and eat slowly...not to mention being full isn't a comfortable feeling to me anymore. And I guess that it is kind of good in a way...BUT I FEEL RAW EMOTIONALY...my inner person does not have a way to pacify the pain...so here I am, praying and walking through this crappy situation...trying to remain grateful for what I do have in my life...and it is just so painful...I haven't even had a fill yet! How do you find comfort when you cannot eat but a cup of food?

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Sometimes the learning process that goes with this is TOUGH. You're certainly finding that out. You've given up some really bad habits and now you're working on this one, this eating. I can only say, get out of the house. Go to the movies (yes, even if it means going alone -- once you're in your seat, you're not alone anymore), call a friend to go walking with you. But get out of the house and do something that requires your brain to be involved. You CAN do this.

[spud.mama 7]

I heard 'shop therapy' works! LOL :rolleyes2: (if you have the money!)

[Stephanie1972 0]

Wow...your post was touching. I too am an ex smoker (6 months out) ex BIG drinker and ex-BIG eater. What vices are left? Where do we seek solace in times like this? Well...it's been hard, however...I am more in touch with my body than I ever have been...watching it get smaller, measuring it, putting makeup on everyday, reading a good book while sitting at starbucks in a corner drinking a Decaf coffee...taking my dogs for a walk and knowing they are having the time of their life, doing internet research about lap-band recipes...looking forward to great tasting food, not quantity...reading US weekly, People, all those fun but silly magazines...I would recommend you make a list of all of the things you would like to do, but don't feel you have time to do, or feel you are or were too heavy to do...what if exercise...perhaps running was your vice? What if you "trained" for a 5K?

This is a difficult road...I miss drinking. I haven't quit, although my doc says no alcohol for a year, so technically I have quit, but I miss it...but then again, I never have to worry about beer or liquor showing up on the scale. I used to! Additionally, I don't have to take my inhaler anymore because my asthma is gone because I quit smoking...the fact that health is not a major source of stress anymore keeps me going...Good luck. I will pray for you. Oh, and find yourself a church that you love...get involved...volunteer...keep yourself busy.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I didn't overeat for the reasons you list but I overate for rewards, and had to find myself a new way to reward me for doing onerous tasks etc. (My "carrot" was carrot cake! LOL) I'm a "throw myself across the bed and cry" type when something makes me sad, but you'll find what works for you.

Honestly a therapist might help you a little! Some people "journal" their feelings; writing it all down helps. Some channel it into exercise. Or that cry on the bed thing...

but food never changed a thing when you were sad. It made you bigger, over the long run, but it didn't do a thing for you. You might have THOUGHT it was helping but it wasn't. Once you figure that out, it'll be easier.

[dubbee 0]

My surgeon told me I was mourning my best friend...food. At first I wanted to knock the mess out of him. But after I gave it some honest thought, I truly had to agree somewhat.

I'd been in denial I guess about my eating habits. Didnt realize the time sneak-eating consumes and the money. I actually have money laying around waiting to be spent!

I know some of what you are feeling. But be patient as the results reveal themselves to you.

Do your best to find things to keep you busy. Like exercise...soon you'll be too busy working out to feel the things you are feeling.

[Nobody's Girl 0]

I feel you on this one. I had surgery one year ago. I used to be bubbly, outgoing, friendly, and positive. Lately I have been so sad, depressed, lonley, and crabby. And when I drink I get worse. I coulden't figure out why but now I think it's because I don't have food to help me deal with my problems like I used to. It's getting worse, I think I'm going to make an appointment with a counselor today.

[aubrie 6]

Okay. food made me feel better. We all know what that's about. The trick is, when you need comfort for yourself, and food is no longer the convenient option to do that, what can we do to replace it? Obviously, we can't go shopping every time we need a boost. I know I would be broke. So what to do? Well, you still need to pamper yourself and make yourself feel better. So......take a bubble bath, repot some pretty flowers, cut some flowers from your new garden and put them in vases around the house, give yourself a manicure, indulge in a facial, turn up the stereo and dance yourself silly, put some photos in an album and work on a scrapbook, re-arrange your furniture, take your old silk flower arrangements apart, and make some new ones,

[beckymein1021 0]

food is our drug of choice (or WAS). Take that away and you're sure to experience some withdrawl symptoms.

Find something (positive) to replace that good feeling you got when eating. There IS something out there, you just have to find it.

Good luck, you are not alone!

[maryrose 2]

Hi jj,

This part really bites! Sorry, I wish I could say it doesn't.

Have you found a good Protein shake that you like? I mean Really like. They are a lifesaver for me.

I take the GNC choc. and put a ton of ice in it, put a lil Peanut Butter. It's delicious. Also, the vanilla with a ton of ice, almond soy milk and a tiny bit of Hershey Syrup. I try to keep these shakes under 150 calories. They really help me a lot.

Also, looking at the before and after photos on here is my favorite pastime!

Hang in there, it does get better.

[serenity55 15]

Boy do I know how you feel, about the eating, anyway. I never drank.

First of all, congratulations on your sobriety, and on giving up the smoking. I think there have been some wonderful suggestions made here. Someone suggested a therapist, and journaling, both of which I have found very helpful.

I'm wondering, too, if you might consider finding a buddy, or sort of like a sponsor the way people do in twelve step programs. That's someone you could talk to on a daily, or hourly basis, if necessary.

Dealing with feelings is no fun, but since my comfort, food, has been taken away, there will be more for me to work through.

Keep posting here, too; I've found lots of support on this site.

Restless, congratulations on becoming a nurse! Way to go!

Debbie.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Debbie thank you very much!