I want to give up

[smokymtnchik 0]

I had surgery on Jan 19 of this year. I've only lost 22 lbs. I now hate this thing inside of me. It has only prove that I am a failure at weight loss. I've had one lap band refill since surgery and it was like nothing happened. What is wrong with me???? I have actually again 2 lbs!! I'm a sick person if they had to go in, implant a devise to keep me from eating and that didn't help! I'm so frustrated and angry at myself. I'm embarrassed at my failing at this.. I hate facing people. I dont' want to go back and face the nutritionist at my Surgeons.. I have to go back June 10 and I dread it so much. I am also suppose to have a fill on June 10 but I don't they will do it.. since I haven't lost any.

I succeed at everything in my life, that I put my mind to.. I can do anything I put my mind to.. I cannot, however, lose weight. I saw a counselor for 4 months before my surgery, I thought that would better prepare me.

I need advise.. Please.

Dana

[milwif 0]

You have only had one fill since your surgery? That is probably your first problem. You have no restriction! I'm sure after your fill in June you will be doing much better. As for feeling like a failure...22 pounds lost is much better than nothing at all. You are not a failure until you have completely given up hope. But as long as you are trying, you should be proud of yourself. A lot of people lose very slowely anyways. You might try working out to help speed it along, I've also heard of people doing a combination of lap band/weight watchers or low carb. This could help get the ball rolling.Good luck and hang in there!

[Juliewants2bthinner 0]

Hi Dana,

I saw your entry and could not help but feel complied to write to you. I have been reading tons of information regarding the Lap Band.

#1 YOUR ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!!!!

#2 IT IS NORMAL TO GAIN WEIGHT ONCE THE LAP BAND IS IN DUE TO THE FACT THAT YOU WERE ON A PRE-OP DIET AND NOW YOUR BODY IS LEARNING TO EAT ONCE AGAIN!!!!!!

#3 TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR AND TO YOU NUTRITIONIST AND ASK WHAT THEY SUGGEST

#4 I READ THAT IT MAY TAKE UP TO 2-3 FILLS FOR THE SYSTEM TO WORK WITH YOU.

NOT TO SOUND PREACHY, BUT REMEMBER THIS IS JUST A TOOL TO HELP US LOSE WEIGHT NOT A MIRICLE!

I wish you nothing but success and I know it will all start to work with you real soon. Please keep working with your DR.

[manykids 0]

Had to reply to this message. There is no way your a failure you just do not have enough cc's because you have had only 1 fill. I was worried that I wouldn't lose either and be in your same dilemma and my Doctor told me that the fills are the things that restrict you and get this weight off. You should have had a fill 6-8 weeks after your Jan 19th banding, which would be by March 19th. Then you should have had a fill last week for your 2nd one, 6 weeks later. Then you should be having a 3rd fill at the end of June. You don't start losing weight when you have the banding, you start with your fills where the restriction comes in. The post op diet of course helps us to lose weight but its the fills that kick in the weight loss. My Doctor told us that it isn't until the 3rd fill that you really start seeing the loss. So you are still at the starting gate and can't evaluate this until you have a few more fills. Its guaranteed to work, you won't be the only one in the world who can't lose. Thats the beauty of this band, it will work because you have the fills that are constantly tightening you up. You just have to make sure that the first year you go every 6 weeks. Good luck to you and just get to your fills every 6 weeks and your weight will be off in no time.

[tondavi719 0]

I also felt like I had to reply. I was banded on Jan. 9th. Right around when you were. I have had 4 fills. A 22 pound loss is a loss and not a gain. I Know it must be really frustrating!!! Like everyone has said it is not just getting the band in, but doing the fills is sooo important. You should NOT feel like a failure. Your surgeon is there to help you. Don't dread going back to him. This is your journey- noone said it was gonna be easy. The band is your tool to help you. Once you learn to use it it will help you. I wish you luck. Please feel free to contact me for encouagement. God Bless!!!

[smokymtnchik 0]

Thank you all for your encouraging words. My first fill was Marcy 20th.. it was supppose to have been exactly one month after my surgery but the surgeon went out of town. My 2nd fill was suppose to be around the first of May but the surgeon's office once again called to reschedule because he has to be out of town.

I wrote my email late last night after I couldn't sleep from all the crying at my pity party.

My mistakes: I am not using a support group like this forum. I am not following a specific diet - I just tried to cut back. I do not food journal, which I understand helps so much.

Thank you for your encouraging words. I plan on printing these so that I can read them when I'm having another pity party.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Step One: Call the doc's office and tell them that you desperately need another fill and they have put you off enough and that you need to come in immediately. You're NOT going to experience a steady consistent weight loss without this.

Step Two: Find out if your doc's office offers a live support group. If so, GO. Since my surgery, my group has had meetings about portion control/eating plan (among other things) and you could really benefit from that. IF they don't offer that, look around at other doctors/surgeon groups that do WLS and see if you can go to a support group there.

Step Three: Get an eating plan in place. Minimum of 60 grams of Protein per day. An average meal should be 3 oz. of lean Protein (looks like the same size as a deck of cards roughly), steamed or raw vegetables (raw can be a problem as you get more restriction so really chew well and take small bites). Wait 15 minutes. If you still feel hungry, eat a serving of whole grain carbs. If you get hungry in less than 4 hours, eat protein. A boiled egg, half a cup of low fat cottage cheese, an ounce of low fat cheese (string cheese, Kraft puts up snack bites of 1 ounce each individually wrapped 2% fat cheese, Sargento puts up a 2% colby-jack piece of cheese individually wrapped like string cheese in packs of 12 that are a little less than an ounce). Eventually, with enough fills to give you the restriction you need, you should be able to go 4 hours between meals comfortably.

You haven't failed, NOT BY A LONG SHOT. You've reached out for advice and you know what to do to move forward. It's all okay!

[lndshark 0]

I can totally relate. I had surgery on October 6th, and bounced around until about february. It took me six or seven fills to finally get some restiction, and man, when you get there, everything will be gravy. Since I got restriction, and not even good restriction mind you, I dropped about 60 pounds in the next two months. Then i got loose again, and plateaued for a good month. Got tightened up again, and Since two tuesdays ago, 12 days, I have dropped 18 pounds. It is all about restriction, and trust me I'm probably one of the fattest bastards on here. I was 503 at my consult. And I had even lost weight prior to that. So if I, who was so addicted to food can do it, you can too. Wait until you get restriction, it will change everything. Until then, hang in there.

brian

[sil 0]

hi i was banded january 13th, following my two weeks post-op checkup i lost 19 pounds. i go for my fourth fill tomorrow, i have some restriction.have not gain or lost i am still at the same but hang on in their. do not feel like a failure. it just takes time. by next year this time you will look back an say (wow i did it).sometimes i feel the same then again i know its gonna happen. i lost 40 pounds during the dietian classes.that was from april08-sept 08.i exercise three times a day on my stationary bike.but i am losing inches. never give up you can do this. (sil)

[suepro 39]

Its far too early for you to be giving up, as others have said get yourself a fill and get on a sensible eating plan. you have done really well so far, 22lbs is a great start to your weightloss. It isn't a race so don't let the fact that you have got off to a slow start with your fills put you off, you can get back on track and get to your target weight, it takes time but the band will be in there for the long term so there is no hurry.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

My mistakes: I am not using a support group like this forum. I am not following a specific diet - I just tried to cut back. I do not food journal, which I understand helps so much.

Thank you for your encouraging words. I plan on printing these so that I can read them when I'm having another pity party.

I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday.

As my dad would say, your only mistake was when you thought you made a mistake and didn't. YOU DID NOT MAKE ANY MISTAKES.

Many people just cut back and lose. Seriously. you just have to not snack. AND...UNTIL you get enough "fills" that won't work because you can eat too much AND you don't have to write about every bite you put in your mouth unless you want to.

IF you bought a new car and had no gas for it and it didn't run, what would be the problem? That you picked the wrong car? OR ... that you need gas! TAH DAH! You need fills. IF the doc's office blows you off be adamant that you need an appt asap. It took me FIVE fills to get restriction. It takes many people 3-4! So you are essentially stuck with a shiny new vehicle that can't get you where you want to go because it has no fuel. That's not your fault. Make the doc step up.

You may certainly journal and calorie count if you want to. I personally find when I do that I obsess about food so much. I wanted freedom from it, not more obsession...but we can all use the marvelous band the way we see fit. Get some gas and get out on the road, woman. You'll love it!

[manykids 0]

I agree with parrothead Cathy, you need to check around your area and see if there are other surgeon's that do this surgery and have support groups. Don't know what State your in or insurance info but you can have your fills at any office, hospital that does this. There is ways you can do this even ifyou have an HMO. You just need to get help asap, so join a support group anywhere and if this Surgeon's office continues to be a problem you need to call your insurance company and ask for a different place to get fills. I have never heard of such a thing with Doctor offices blowing off fills like this, so it is very worrisome that you won't get what you need from this place. Something to think about!! WE are all in this together and you deserve to get what you need from your Doctor. Good luck.

[smokymtnchik 0]

OMG! Thank you all so much! I am calling tomorrow and demanding a fill. I live in East Tn. Dr. Boyce is my surgeon. He doesn't put any saline in at time of surgery and then does one fill at one month out.. then every two months. So I should be approaching my 3rd fill, not my second! I do have HMOs and if I can't get in to get a fill I'll call my insurance.

I'm like some of you.. I just cant' bring myself to journal. I'm so busy of the day and usually eat my lunch at my desk and get right back to work.

Thanks to the food advise.. I'm boiling eggs now. I'll stop in the morning to buy bite size cheese and I've already got cottage cheese.

You all are wonderful.

I'll let you know what my surgeon's office said.

[manykids 0]

OMG! Thank you all so much! I am calling tomorrow and demanding a fill. I live in East Tn. Dr. Boyce is my surgeon. He doesn't put any saline in at time of surgery and then does one fill at one month out.. then every two months. So I should be approaching my 3rd fill, not my second! I do have HMOs and if I can't get in to get a fill I'll call my insurance.

I'm like some of you.. I just cant' bring myself to journal. I'm so busy of the day and usually eat my lunch at my desk and get right back to work.

Thanks to the food advise.. I'm boiling eggs now. I'll stop in the morning to buy bite size cheese and I've already got cottage cheese.

You all are wonderful.

I'll let you know what my surgeon's office said.

Let me know how it goes, as if you need input with any insurance issues let me know. I do this for a living and I know that you can change your surgeon for getting fills from. MOst insurance carriers just want you to make sure you go to a Center of Excellence which is a higher quality of care in most cases, and they will work with you if you need to change facilities for fills. Good luck! You will lose and reach your goals, its guaranteed with the band!!!

[smokymtnchik 0]

I called my surgeon's office today to request a fill this week. He is again out of town this week. They can get me in next week. The office manager was very rude to me. She automatically went on defense mode when I told her I kept getting rescheduled.

I made the appointment for next week but I have a call in to another weight loss center in the area to see if they will take me as a patient. If so, I'll then call my insurance company to get the okay.

I feel like I've been abondoned by my Surgeon.

Thanks for all the advise everyone.

Dana