defending my band to someone who doesn't get it- what are good things to say?

[Just Banded 0]

I wish I would have kept my big mouth shut before telling my mother in law what I went thru this week not being able to eat for almost 3 days.

She said: why don't you just get that thing taken out?

Then proceeded to lecture me on all I ever needed was diet and excercise. Of course she is a size 2 or 0 and has been her entire life.

All I could say was that I love my band and it was the best thing that has helped me control my weight all my life and that obesity is on the same level as being an alcoholic or dug addict. A few days of not eating was not going to kill me.

Still...she is verrrrry opinionated and I feel like she is shaking her head at me.

It's not like I need her approval for what I have done- but I don't like the feeling that she thinks she knows more than me on the subject. This band was invented for a reason. It angers me that she doesn't get it.

[RestlessMonkey 7]

I don't have anyone in my life who would dare to say those things to me...LOL I guess because they wouldn't like what I said back. I'd say that I have tried diet and exercise and have the intelligence enough to know that if I keep doing the same thing I'll keep getting the same result. I'd tell her that statistically people who DO successfully lose with diet and exercise generally gain back all the lost weight plus more; in fact only 5% keep weight off that way.

I'd tell her that while I think it is nice for her that she can maintain a healthy weight without such medical intervention, I'm grateful that the band exists to give me another TOOL in the war on obesity.

I'd tell her that she's misinformed if she thinks I won't still need to diet and exercise to lose, but that the band will help supply Portion Control so that the hormones and chemical signals that trigger hunger for me will not be so overwhelming.

I'd tell her that I hope she never has to deal with such a problem as this, but that if she can't help me and support me, then don't bother me with her opinions.

Of course, that's just me!

[rrmike 0]

diet and exercise i heard the same thing they say ,I WOULD HAVE JUST, BLAH,BLAH ,BLAH, i just say to all of them ,hey go get a piece of paper and right down your better them me ,and i'll just sign it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!but i'm 50 years old and for 35 of them i tried all that shit ,i'll worry about me you worry about you.!, and also i tell anybody i'm talkin' to what i did, i'm proud that i tried one more thing,and i'm thankful it was invented

[TeganRheana 1]

I'd tell her that she's misinformed if she thinks I won't still need to diet and exercise to lose, but that the band will help supply Portion Control so that the hormones and chemical signals that trigger hunger for me will not be so overwhelming.

Absoultely! I would say this next time she said something to me....

I'm exactly the same. I'm scared to tell anyone because I don't want to know their opinions. It's my body and my life. Not theirs. Only my husband, mum and sister know.

[marie623 0]

my advice? Smile and nod. don't say a word. you are going to waste your breath and energy trying to convince someone of your decisions. The only thing is....they will never be convinced. Let them think what they want to think and let them believe that they have all the answers. If you buy into their know-it-all attitude it is just going to make you lose focus and gain a negative outlook on your goals.

good luck to you

I know that it's hard to block out the noise

Marie

[sistasassy 6]

I have heard the same kind of comments. "I don't want anything in me that is going to make me only be able to eat a little bit." "How can you stand to have something in there that could cause you all sorts of problems?" "Why don't you just go to the gym?" (I do!) "I would never do that. Isn't that only for really fat people." (My head about exploded on that one!)

I now tell everyone. Sometimes I tell people that don't even ask! I am getting skinny and I am getting healthy and I want the world to know!

When people say stupid and insensitive things, I just tell them that this was the best choice for me, my body, and my family. I have struggled all my adult life with my weight and now I AM IN CONTROL....um, sort of. Mostly my band is in control and just lets me shoot off my mouth.

I am always polite, no matter how rude people are. I just give the appropriate happy little answer and I walk off with my slim sexy hips and my fancy new waistline and I smile.

This is not about your mother-in-law or your mom or your dad, or your best friend or your dog. This is about YOU. This is about a thinner, healthier, longer living YOU.

Who cares what other people think? Who cares what they say when we are not around? Who cares?!

We were all banded because we were not happy with who or what we had become or where we were headed. We need to hold our heads high and not be ashamed! We made a smart decision to be better!

Sacrifices always come with great things. Missing out on a little food here or there is a small sacrifice to feel as great as I do now and to look as good.

Keep your chin up and be proud of that little round thing inside of you! It is your new best friend and is helping you down the Great Road of Success!

(Ok, I admit, I have had caffeine today, which is not the norm for me.....but, I mean every word I typed!)

[Jachut 487]

I agree. If someone doesnt get it, then nothing you say is going to make a difference.

My line is "I'd rather the inconveniences of banded life 1000 times over than to live how I was". Because you dont choose to have WLS until you have really made the fundamental decision to take whatever comes with it, that whatever that is, its better than remaining obese.

If people havent reached that stage (and many never do) then they are simply not going to understand.

I had a similar thing with a friend the other night when we went out. I paid $25 for a plate of scallops in a Thai restaurant (and man were they good...... rolled in curry powder, crispy batter, lime juice, snow peas mmmmmmmm). I only ate 5 of them. She said "I just dont get how that doesnt really annoy you". Because of course she still has that I paid for it, so I must eat it ALL, or its food, its there so I must eat it ALL mentality. At the moment, she doesnt want to lose weight more than she wants the instant gratification of eating a lot of very delicious food. If she did, she would "get it".

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

Actually obesity is much worse than alcohol or drug addiction. With help, you could completely stop drinking or taking drugs and while the temptation might exist, you wouldn't have to deal with drinking or taking drugs in small amounts every day. But obesity? You still have to eat EVERY DAY! So for lots of us, this is a way of stopping before the food gets the best of us.

[Just Banded 0]

thank you for all your good responses.

I think what bothers me most is that she thinks I am lazy or weak. I know its been talked about a million times before and it is the farthest thing from the truth!!

I wish more was being done to educate the public about the band so they can get off their high horses. Of course someone who has never struggled probably will never understand. Just like I have never know what it is like to be skinny.

If she tries saying anything more to me I'm just going to say- people pay thousands of dollars for this device- that was invented for a reason- I doubt that millions of people in this world would be shelling out that kind of money if it wasn't needed!

[JENNIFER7375 3]

Cathy you hit it right on. I'm a nurse and worked in rehab for a time. I've often used that logic to explain food addiction to people. Could I have told one of my heroine addicts they were fine as long as they only shoot up once a day. Or a crack addict you'll be fine as long as you only smoke a few rocks? Naturally thin people don't understand what it's like to have an addiction to a substance that you can't eliminate from your life. If we could just stop eating and hit the gym don't they think we'd have done it a long time ago. And don't we all love the smug , superior tone thin people use when they tell us that? Like they're perfect and were lazy slobs with no self control

[KarenInOhio 3]

maybe she (your mother-in-law) needs to know that without weight loss surgery, the morbidly obese have only a 5% chance of keeping the weight off.

[Donnainva 0]

..........

Edited May 17, 2009 by Donnainva

[sweetbean70 2]

After making the decision to be banded (3/27/09), I told only a few select friends and family memebers b/c I didn't want to listen to anyone's negative crap and/or "oh-so-helpful suggestions. As I am now approaching my surgery date (6/8/09), I have done a complete 180 about telling people I'm getting banded. I am politely letting people know that I am having surgery to help my kidneys (I have kidney disease), to lower my blood pressure, to lower my blood sugar, and to lower my cholesterol. In other words,,, FOR MY HEALTH. Naturally thin people seem to just jump to the conclusion that having WLS is for those "heavy" people who don't have the willpower or mental fortitude to just "eat less and exercise more." At least 99.9% of the people having WLS do it to improve their health or to avoid future health problems... not to have a tight, little body (it is a bonus though).

[Carrie_C 9]

i just say to all of them ,hey go get a piece of paper and right down your better them me ,and i'll just sign it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ROFL!!! :scared2:

[gamyj 0]

fortunatly I have no problem saying whats on my mind... so I would just tell her to mind her buisness and to stop giving unwanted advice.

good luck and don't let anyone get inside your head and try to discredit the hard work u have put in to become a healthier happier u.

amy