Regaining Control

[mamato3 1]

I hoped to never be one of those annoying, whining,"oh poor me" people who post on this board begging for help, so if this is any of those things, I apologize in advance!

With that said, I am struggling SO bad! I'm trying so hard to figure out how I lost control and how to gain it back. The first 6 months after surgery I was on top of the world. I lost 65 pounds. Then life happened. My husband was in an accident and I thought I was going to lose him. I went on to lose about another 15 pounds, probably from stress. Then, I stopped exercising, stopped counting calories, stopped worrying about what I was putting in my mouth, etc. etc. etc. I still can't seem to find the motivation to return to exercising. I still don't stop myself from eating junk. I still make up excuses why I'm not doing what I KNOW is best for myself. Now, it's been more then a year since my husbands accident. He still hasn't been able to return to work and the weight of the world still feels like it is on my shoulders. Between working full time and taking care of 2 toddlers plus a husband who can't seem to find a way to move past what happened to him, I just don't put my health, my weightloss, or anything about me, first. I wish I could somehow forget that the entire last year ever happened!

I have put back on 20 or 25 pounds that I worked so hard to lose. My clothes aren't fitting well and I threw away all the "fat" clothes. My husband was converted to long term disability so we lost our medical insurance. I can no longer go for a fill unless I pay for it out of pocket which is definately not in the budget. I'm so frustrated and disgusted. I don't know what it is going to take to get back on track. I know none of you can do it for me. I guess I just hoped typing this out and getting it off my chest might help. I might also be hoping that someone has some words of wisdom for me. Every day I tell myself I am going to make better choices. Every day I tell myself I am going to get some type of exercise in. Every night I beat myself up again because I didn't do it.....

pretty please.... someone give me a kick in the butt here!!!!

Renee :crying:

[RestlessMonkey 7]

Ah Renee you don't need a kick! The band is for life and hey, at least you're still down 40-45.

It is HARD to take care of yourself when you have so much going on! Can your husband get some therapy?

People heal (mentally and physically) at their own pace but after a year, seems like he should be able to poke his head up out of any sadness. I would strongly urge you to urge him to get help, any way you can. That's a long-term solution, but you need an intervention there, I think!

As to the other; do what you can. How much are fills? Will the doc give you a break on price? Can you save up? Fills are the cornerstone of the band; without them it doesn't do much. Ask your banding doc if there is anything they can do to help you.

Then, take it slow. Take one or two things each week and work them into your current life. Are you getting enough Water in? Are you snacking too much (or as my doc says, at all? he feels ANY snacking will cause "band failure"..) Forget the exercise at first; just work on one or two "life" modifications, like getting enough Water each day, that you think will be easy to accomplish.

THEN...add some exercise. Do you have time to, say, go for a walk with the kids each evening? Or go play in the yard with them? And in the interim, park farther from work, take the stairs when you can, and so on.

Once you get back into the habit of taking care of yourself (not just your husband whom, it sounds like, needed the help initially but now needs to step up) then you will perhaps find it easier to go back to whatever diet worked for you before.

And just a few words of wisdom here; people CAN lose without exercising by dieting, but you can't just exercise and lose. So don't feel bad, don't feel like a failure, just move as much as you can and get your water in, get your Multivitamin in, get your Protein in.

And call your doc. If he won't help you, is there a "fill center" or some such near you?

Lastly, see if you can ask/cajole, whatever works to get your husband some help. Eventually, he'll be glad you did.

[jimdd810 0]

The monster of life seems to hit alot of people just when things are looking brighter. I to have more than my fair share of bad things happening right now. I to find myself eating more than I should untill I had an apyphany (or how ever you spell it). If I get sick then things will be worse. If your healthy things will be easier to get through than if your not. I mean healthy mentally as well. Every thing happens for a reason, but you have the choice to how you react to them. Its a great thing if you think about it. No matter what comes your way you have a choice on how you react to them. wow! So when somthing gets you down then choose to react in a positive light. Its sounds like nothing but positive thinking is contagious. You will find more soulutions to lifes little problems if you react positivly then if you react like its the end of the world. Trust me it works. This is a lifes journey we have began and life is a long process. We will always find the bumps in the road. I find the bumps like a roller coaster thrill ride. I try to enjoy every minute of every day. I hope you find your way and remember to keep posting it truly helps to have a little outlet.

Jim