I need advice, please share yours.....

[loganzmom 0]

To make a long story short, I have 4 days to decide if I am going to have my surgery or not as it is scheduled for next Monday.

I have saved for over a year (self-pay) for this and now that the time is near my life is falling apart. My husband lost his job due to the economy and has been unable to find a replacement. He applied for unemployment and found out that it has been contested and will take weeks or months to find out if he will get it or not. Meanwhile I have been looking for work for about 4 months and cannot even get an interview!

So, if you were in this situation, would you have your surgery (which is already paid for) or cancel it so that we have the money to live on? I know to some this may be a no brainer, but I have waited so long and was looking so forward to beginning a new life with the band, it is just crushing me to think of having to make that phone call to the surgery center.

Any and all thoughts and input would be greatly appreciated.

[2Flyguys 13]

i dont have any advice....but i really do feel for u!!!!!!!

[sistasassy 6]

That is a hard one. You and your husband should decide this one. Talk about it, pray about it, then decide.

My husband recently lost his job to economic cutbacks as well. We have started doing contract work for people such as painting, wallpapering, etc. He is receiving unemployment so that helps out too. At this point, we are actually making more money than we were before he lost his job. God provides!

[RestlessMonkey 7]

How long can you maintain (house etc, cutting back but still having your life) if you DONT cancel the surgery?

I'd have to look at that; and what are the chances your husband will find a new job soon? How long has he been looking? And would your surgery money really "save the day" or just delay the inevitible (ie moving in w/family or whatever) for a while?

The lap band can improve your health and, quite frankly, your employ-ability (employers aren't supposed to discriminate against fat people, but it's human nature to go with the thinner person)...

I agree only you and your husband can decide, but what if he'd lost his job the week AFTER your surgery; what would you have done then?

I don't think it's awful for you to think of proceeding with it; I think you just need to weigh all your options.

[pennreporter 12]

it's hard to tell someone else financially what they should do. Not sure how much your surgery is costing you, but there is such a wide variety of doctors charging different rates. Here in PA surgery can be in the high 20ks. In Texas by an extremely reputable surgeon, 13.5k.

I am a believer in creating your own future and new possibilities. Like the one poster said, even though employers are not supposed to discriminate, let's be real. With this market, if you have two candidates equally qualified, you know as well as anyone they will probably pick someone who may not be morbidly obese. True the surgery isn't going to make you thin overnight but it's a new beginning and will create new possibilities.

But my first step would be looking at the cost of the surgery and start comparing. Dr. Spivak in Houston didn't require a gazillion months to qualify. My daughter was denied by her insurance and no amount of appeals was going to give her any comorbidities, which is what they required on top of at least 40 BMI. She clearly couldn't afford 27k in NYC and did her research and found Spivak. My surgery luckily is being covered but if it wasn't I would be heading south. Not so sure I would head to Mexico but there are some extremely qualified surgeons down there now.

Don't give up until you explore everything.

Good luck and look at the employment situation and surgery as a new adventure and to your surprise there may be something wonderful that comes from all of this.

Trisha

[loganzmom 0]

thanks for the responses. My husband don't want me to cancel the surgery, but I'm afraid if I don't it will be a big mistake. I don't know what we will do if one of us don't find something soon, whether I go ahead with it or not. It seems that everything available we are either told we are over qualified for or under qualified for. I just don' t know, I can't even think straight right now. We don't have anyone we could move in with, his brother and his family has already taken any available space at my in laws and my parents aren't even an option.

:thumbup:

[witchwren 0]

It's a tough situation to be sure but I think you would be more help to your family and yourself if you went through with the surgery. Your going through a crisis now, but your talking the rest of your life and the probability for it to be longer and healthier.

[WASaBubbleButt 41]

To make a long story short, I have 4 days to decide if I am going to have my surgery or not as it is scheduled for next Monday.

I have saved for over a year (self-pay) for this and now that the time is near my life is falling apart. My husband lost his job due to the economy and has been unable to find a replacement. He applied for unemployment and found out that it has been contested and will take weeks or months to find out if he will get it or not. Meanwhile I have been looking for work for about 4 months and cannot even get an interview!

So, if you were in this situation, would you have your surgery (which is already paid for) or cancel it so that we have the money to live on? I know to some this may be a no brainer, but I have waited so long and was looking so forward to beginning a new life with the band, it is just crushing me to think of having to make that phone call to the surgery center.

Any and all thoughts and input would be greatly appreciated.

With the economy the way it is, the inability to get a job, the cost of the surgery, and most of all the cost of the aftercare for a band... I'd wait. Besides, if you are both looking for jobs how will you feel if the next job one of you gets has WLS benefits? You spent all that money for something that insurance may cover. You get the surgery AND an income.

[HappyHomeCC 2]

I can't speak to you and your husbands relationship etc. I asked mine if we were in that same situation, and we are close to it.... He said that I should go through with the surgery... Money issues are temporary usually, saving for a surgery has more long term good effects... One is your self esteem. another your health, those are hard to put a price tag on. With those things in check it is easier to go out and get what you want. then he chuckles , wise a$$ and says we would save money on food! We have 2 kids in Elementary School so that would complicate things also. Like I said we all are different in our views and priorities, so you are going to have to sit down and make a list of Pros and Cons with each other.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

Lor

[coloradobanding 5]

I truly feel for you situation and hope that you find a way out of it soon! My advice would be to "put off" the surgery for a set number of weeks-4 perhaps and see what happens.

I REALLL like the previous post where they stated that if you do find a job and have insurance, the WLS could be paid for!

Another bit of good advice is look for a less expensive surgeon. My insurance paid for mine, but my Doctor (who I LOVE LOVE LOVE) only charges $8500 for LBS. My doctor is Dr. Thomas Brown in Colorado, is recognized for exceptional practice by the LB surgical society and has performed hundreds (I'm thinking thousands really, but not positive) of successful surgeries.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

[rcruz 0]

YOu say it's already paid for but yet you will get the money back I think if it's already paid for I would go through with it. Job loss is temporary I think. I am not sure this is truely a marriage decision!!!!

[So_Sweet 0]

As many have said before, this is truly a decision for both you and your husband to make. With this economy, jobs with benefits are not just falling from the sky. I would definitley pray about it. Maybe it is already a sign that you should wait. I hope that everything works out.

[Tricia31907 0]

I hope you decided to have the surgery, do for you and everything else will fall into place:)