someone please help me

[trish5713 2]

I had my surgery in august of 08 and so far have only lost about 20lbs. I feel like the biggest failure in the world. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't stop over eating. My doctor has been great, trying to help me as much as he can. I was too full for about 2-3 months which certainly didn't help. I couldn't really eat protien since it would get stuck. I just can't believe that I've done it again. I thought that going through the surgery would motivate me to be healthy. I thought that the band wouldn't let me eat too much. My doctor tells me to just eat until I'm not hungry and I don't even know what that means. I'm just crying right now cause I've let myself, my doctor, and my loved ones down. I'm 22 and still live at home and when my mom sees me eating bad stuff (popcorn, snack foods, etc) she calls me out on it and I just get mad at her and, I don't know, maybe I eat more just to spite her or something. I hate myself right now. I don't know what to do. I've started exercising, been doing 30 minutes of cardio every day or every other day for the past two weeks but it doesn't seem to be bringing my weight down at all. every night i tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and that i can start over on the right track and I just don't. I want to be thin. I'm only 22 and I just want to be normal and healthy and not have to shop in the fat girl stores. Please, does anyone have any advice for me? I used to come on this site all the time and haven't because I'm embarassed by how much of a failure I am. Is this all there is? Am I so broken that I can't fix myself?

[jukebox81782 0]

you are not a failure. you're not. losing weight is not easy even with a lap band. everyone will tell you this, so please never think you are a failure.

even if you were losing the "normal" 1-2 lbs a week you'd be at around 36-72 lbs lost, so you are not far from that--remember that.

this is what i did: try writing down everything you put into your mouth everyday...don't change your habits, just write it down. then, for the next week, try to just leave about 25% of everything you would've eaten on the plate. then, the next week, leave 50%.

If you're still feeling hungry, go back to the 25% out. It's a balance.

Remember, this is not a diet. It's a new way of eating, thinking, and living your life. There's no need to "start over" if you overeat...you're human!

Good luck!! ;o)

[Pangaeus 0]

This is what I am so afraid of happening to me. I have been struggling with binge eating and have been meeting with a therapist for the past year but I can't control the binge eating. I am really afraid that this will be true even after I get the lap band...that I will just keep eating and then feel even worse. I don't totally know what you feel but I have been imagining it and it makes me feel awful.

Have you thought of seeking counseling or entering an inpatient eating disorder facility? Rader in California has a fair amount of overeaters (alot of eating disorder places only specialize in bulemics and anorexics, but Rader is also good for overeating.)

[chelan 7]

There is nothing wrong with you other than you need to like you're self and quit the self hatred talk, be nice to you're self.

I am sorry but I don't get it I am not wasting my money on the surgery because I thought it was supposed to stop the hunger. I am overweight because I am always starving. I mean if you have to eat the way they say why would you need surgery.

You would loose weight anyway. Surgery cannot change the way you eat total waste of money.

Can someone answer the question does it stop the hunger and why do people gain all the weight back?

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

Get the book called The Beck Diet Solution. It's not a diet. It's a method to stop binge eating and overeating in general. It helped me a lot.

Yes, the band will stop hunger, but it will not stop head hunger. You know that feeling " I want something, what sounds good?" That's head hunger, not stomach growling

gnawing starving hunger.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

"Eat until you're not hungry" ... sounds so simple but it really isn't. How I was told to approach it is to take a small plate (like a salad or luncheon plate) and put my 3 oz of Protein (about the size of a deck of cards on the plate. Then add a serving of steamed vegetables. Take bites the size of a quarter and put your fork down between each bite and chew really well. When finished with the Protein and vegetable, leave the table. If, in 15 minutes, I still feel hungry, I can eat about 15 grams of carbs .... whole grain only. It still sounds easy, but most of us have little familiarity with "full" because we've always eaten right past that. We know "stuffed", like on Thanksgiving, but you have to learn "full". You will come to realize that there is not that screaming feeling saying "eat, eat". That's it. Don't eat again for 4 hours. If you have to wait more than 4 hours, eat a little protein, like a boiled egg or an ounce of low fat cheese. Buy pre-packaged servings of cheese so you aren't tempted to eat "just a little more". Buy string cheese or, my favorite, Sargento 2% colby jack individually wrapped pieces. I keep boiled eggs in the refrigerator so that I can grab one, peel it and eat it.

The other thing, just as important as learning to push away from the table, is EXERCISE. Don't whine and say you don't have time, don't like to exercise or whatever excuse comes to mind. We've all used them. Get out and WALK. Start out with a 15 minutes and add 5 minutes every couple of days until you are walking 45 minutes. At a steady pace, 45 minutes is 3 miles. You can continue to build up after that. Just remember that WALKING is excellent exercise, doesn't cost anything (like a gym membership). Get your Mom to walk with you (we ALL need exercise), or walk the dog, or if you have neighbors you see out walking ask if you can join them.

The band isn't a magic wand. You still have to work at this. I sometimes have to FORCE myself out the door to walk but when I come back in, I feel better for having done it.

Good luck.

[JuneAct2 0]

I've never thought my band would stop hunger. I get hungry...when I wake up; then again around lunch time; and at dinner time. If I've worked out pretty hard, I'll feel hungry in between.

The band helps you feel full on less food. It won't help you make the right choices. And, it won't stop head hunger!

Head hunger is what you feel when you go to the movies and think you HAVE to have popcorn. Or you walk by the frig and sightsee, just because it's there. It's not REAL hunger.

Now, to get back on track, I'd suggest you plan your meals. Then I first went on the pre-op diet I could have 6 Protein Shakes per day. I scheduled them 3 hours apart starting at 6am and ending at 9pm. Having that timeframe to look at made it easier to stick to the program. Write down what you eat. Schedule meals and/or Snacks regularly throughout the day. Drink plenty of Water. It will help with hunger. Knowing how many calories you're getting will help you decide whether you want that "snack food". And, occasionally you can figure that snack food into your daily calories.

I've been told it takes about 3 weeks to establish a new habit. Commit to 3 weeks and I believe you will see a drop in your weight and a change in your attitude. This is the same advice I'd give my own daughter and she's the same age as you. I wish you the best of luck.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Aww sweetie don't beat yourself up. You just need to deal with your issue with food. Do you have a support group with your doctors office? Maybe a nutritionist? I would definitely see a psychologist to help deal with why you over eat.

You didn't come this far to go through what you went through to get banded to not use it. The band's an awesome tool to help you lose weight.

The face that you are exercising is awesome. You will start to feel much better and you will probably start to feel more motivated.

So the next time you feel like snacking have fruits and veggies on hand instead of chips and Cookies.

good luck to ya! Hope you can get back on track!

[snereb27 0]

I agree with everyone else on here, try not to beat yourself up becuase that will only demotivate you. Does your surgeons office or any other weight loss clinic in your area offer an Emotional Eating class? It might help if you know why you want to overeat.

It's a daily struggle and we're all in the same boat or else we wouldn't be on this website! :cool2:

[Unforgettable 0]

I think this is a great thread showing that having the surgery is not "taking the easy way out" as some outsiders can think. The real struggle still is with making the right food choices, portion sizes, and having the willpower to go above and beyond.

[KristeyK 8]

Oh please don't beat yourself up. Doing so will only sink you further into what feels like your own personal black hole. (At least, that is what it feels like to me, and I am slowly getting out of that.)

Eat until you feel full. HA! That is what my surgeon used to tell us all too. He said he now knows better. He told me to go get something about the size of a lemon and use that to measure my food. At least half of it should be Protein, then Fiber and if there is anything left, COMPLEX carbs. Everything together should total about the size of that lemon. You know what? It is WORKING! I feel fine after I finish eating, not like I am ready to blow up. I get a little hungry between meals, but it is not anything some Water or a piece of sugar free gum will not cure. (Head hunger...)

I wish you luck! And again I have to say STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!!! :-)

[Nobody's Girl 0]

Hey girl!

I also had surgery in August 2008. I have only lost 30 lbs. However, I don't think that I'm a failure! I am happy for the weight that I have lost and I have confidance that I will lose the weight eventually if I keep working on it.

You know, I had only lost 20lbs in the 9 months after my surgery. I had a fill not too long ago and thats helping... maybe you need a little fill?

[trish5713 2]

wow. thanks everyone for your kind words and for sharing your experiences. i've decided to start going to overeaters annonymous meetings. first one is tomorrow. i know my problem is 99% mental/emotional. i did get a fill so now i'm .5cc less than i was when i was too full. i'm really noticing it and it's helping me to not over eat at meal time which is excellent.

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Good for you! That is so awesome. You will be back on track in no time. Keep us up to date on how things are going. I think going to OEA is a great step! Congrats!

[lose2regainme 0]

wow. thanks everyone for your kind words and for sharing your experiences. i've decided to start going to overeaters annonymous meetings. first one is tomorrow. i know my problem is 99% mental/emotional. i did get a fill so now i'm .5cc less than i was when i was too full. i'm really noticing it and it's helping me to not over eat at meal time which is excellent.

I am so glad you found a group. I really love the Lap Band support group at my surgeons office. It has taken me a full year to get an approval from my insurance company, and I wouldn't have gotten through it without them. Set lots of small goals, so you can experience the uplifting accomplishment of meeting them more often than the disgouraging feeling of "not yet". Mix up your exercise routine, do something different. Don't skip meals, make sure you are getting your 50-60 grams of Protein. It is hard to believe, but skipping meals slows down the loss because your body goes into self preservation/starvation mode. Also when you're not getting that protein and all of your Water, you are hungry and more likely to make the bad food choices. Best Wishes! You are a strong beautiful young woman who has already made a very important decision in the right direction.... you got a lap band! You can do this!