Response of Family & Friends to your band Choice?

[karebare4me 0]

Well, I am counting down the days to May 6th which is the day I get my band and I start this new journey. I had my pre-surgery Class ....I have been fighting Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertenstion for 4 years now and can't wait until I can wake up in the morning with out severe pain, hopfully improved vision and a body that will allow me to be the Mom/Wife I know I am....

Over the past several days my husband told my in-laws that I am having this surgery and there response was "oh the easy way out" or "so, she just couldnt eat smaller portions on her own?, why go to such extreams if all she has to do is just eat smaller portions"

I am not just getting it from family, I have been getting it from friends... Because as soon as they find out that I am having this done next week, they say the same things.. and even today I had a friend say "Why havent you tried to loose weight on your own, this surgery thing just seems really out there" My deffensive response to him was..Well it was either this or Brain surgery.. which would you choose if that was your options? (see I am at the point that either I have the lap band or a shunt (brain surgery) to help with my Idiopathic Intercranial hypertention disorder)

And to add to this my Dear Husband came home from talking to his family and asked me these questions with a sincerity that he was thinking the same thing. I was a bit taken back by his sincerity to the questions. At first I was hurt and got deffensive and said "Did you just seriously ask me that" If you don't understand why I/We are doing this surgery then maybe we need to sit down and have a long talk. Which we did...

Have any of you expreianced these type of questions with non support from Family?

As I have been preparing my self for next week, I have been reflecting back on the last 4 years and what I have lost out on, Watching my Son & Daughters Soccer Games, My Husbands Soccer Games, Family outings, Amusement Park rides, riding bikes on Sunday, being able to do regular Mother and Wife functions around the home. My health has been detiriating each month. And as I made this decision I relized that I may not be able to get those things back.. But I will be able to make new memories that can help over shadow those that have been lost.

I know this is going to be the best thing for me and I know that I am going to ROCK my band with all my might, heart and strength.

I know that I can do this, I have made the right decsision for me. And that I am doing this for My self and for my Family. I will be healthier, I will be the Wife and Mother I know I can be and want to be, I know that this is going to be the best thing that I could do for me at this point in my life.

Thank you Bandsters on this group, I am looking forward to taking this journey together as May Bansters. I have prepared my self for this... You all have inspired me in so many ways and I can only hope to be a beacon to someone else like you all have been to me.

See you in bandland May 6th 2009

Karianne

[09hotmama 0]

Hi I had a hard time telling people about having the lap band because I NEVER about my weight. It took me over two years to make my mind up. I am as tall as you but heavier. I was banded in Jan 09 and so far its working good. I have lost 40 pounds and happier. You can tell all your family that this is harder then any diet but the best thing for you. Best of Luck and let us know how you are doing.Hot Mama

Remember that the first couple weeks the wieght loss is slow

[nf1074 0]

Hang in there, remember you are the only one who can make this decision. no matter what they say or think its your body and you know whats best for you.

My father wasnt supportive of my decision, didnt surprise me one bit. he told me what he felt. and first thing out of his mouth was a story of men who dead from the gastro surgery.

I told him that was a diffrent procedure from the lapband.

but that was that, he didnt mention it again. Everyone else has supported my decision. Of course the comments are there, are you sure, wow you will be giving up lots of foods.

I hope you can find someone at home or around you that can be supportive, and use this website.

Maybe after you go thru the procedure they will see you will be happy with yourself and mostly become healthier.and will support you.

Many people do not understand the struggles of losing weight and especially keeping it off. Good luck in your journey.

[lmdowdy 0]

I haven't told all of my family about the surgery and the ones that I have has been a mixed bag. Some supportive and the others telling me stories of people dying or keeping the weight off for a couple years and then gaining it and more back. I just smile and keep going. I believe that no one has a right to say anything until they have walked in my shoes and then maybe I'll listen. I have fought weight for such along time and I need another tool at this time to help me out. I'm not giving up just getting some much needed assistance.

Hang in there and good luck!!!

[John337 2]

I think family and friends just to the conclusion that we're having Gastric Bypass Surgery. I found that most of my inner circle of friends and family were supportive once I sat down and explained that procedure and that this is not the " Magic Bullet" people think. This is a way to control appetite and the amount we will be able to eat and be satisfied. We need to exercise and take care of ourselves. Once explained to friends and family, I found no one that wasn't supportive and if I did, I would just zone them out.....

People don't understand the struggle most of us have with losing weight. Sure - losing weight is easy, but gaining it back is even easier...........I can see my own relationship with food changing, and changing for the better.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SURGERY :thumbup:

[karebare4me 0]

Thanks for all your comments and support. It means a lot to me. and Helps me so much.

On A good Note.. Last night we went to some close friends home for dinner and my youngest said "mom are you going to tell them about your tummy?" And my girlfriend looked at me and said ok spill it. So I told her that I am scheduled for May 6th and her and her husband wanted all the details and what it is and how I felt.. And this is the great part.. She looked at me and said well I am excited for you, I m nervous and scared but I am excited that you see a light at the end of the tunnel.

So I felt really good to have some friends that understood and are there to support me along with the rest of my family.

Anyway, Thanks again.

[SpideyMom 1]

Karianne, I'm sorry you've had so much misery for the last 4 years. I understand completely about missing out on so many family events and memories -- I have fibromyalgia, which is a chronic pain condition for which there is no cure at this time. It is progressive, as I can attest to how much pain I am in now as compared to when I was diagnosed in 2005.

My reactions from loved ones has been mixed. Most of my friends have really been supportive, but one couple who I thought would really be supportive are quite the opposite -- questioning why I can't just exercise more, eat less, etc. In fact, they've pulled away and haven't been talking to me as much since I told them, which is sad. I've only told one family member so far, and she was so amazingly supportive, I was overwhelmed! I still need to tell my sister, but we keep playing telephone tag! I am worried about her reaction.

I also felt like my dh questioned my decision after he had told me he supported me. Then I took him with me to the surgeon's visit, and he snapped back to being the supportive, caring man that I know and love.

The important thing is -- this is YOUR decision. No one else knows the pain you live with -- from your disease and from missing out on family life. I can sympathize with you. Know that you have friends here who can relate and totally support you!

[Laya 0]

Kari,

I totally understand everything you are going to as well. I had been researching for a long time before I even mentioned that I was looking into it to anyone. Once I went to a seminar and decided was when I started to tell people. My BF doesn't understand the emotional and mental aspects of it, but he is 100% supportive of any decision I would make to make myself healthier. I've had mixed reactions from family and friends, but I just chose like John not to be around those that were not going to be supportive of me. I don't have many friends that struggle with weight and I'm the anomaly in my family. People who don't have food issues don't understand that it is an addiction just like alcohol or drugs. If you were drinking too much and said you were going to get hlep for it everyone would ber so happy for you. Same with drugs, MOST people don't understand the addiction to food.< /p>

You've made a FABULOUS choice for yourself, if you follow the rules with a little help from your BAND it will be the best choice you've made!! AND you're not alone, we're all here to help along the way!!

[SpideyMom 1]

Kari,

I totally understand everything you are going to as well. I had been researching for a long time before I even mentioned that I was looking into it to anyone. Once I went to a seminar and decided was when I started to tell people. My BF doesn't understand the emotional and mental aspects of it, but he is 100% supportive of any decision I would make to make myself healthier. I've had mixed reactions from family and friends, but I just chose like John not to be around those that were not going to be supportive of me. I don't have many friends that struggle with weight and I'm the anomaly in my family. People who don't have food issues don't understand that it is an addiction just like alcohol or drugs. If you were drinking too much and said you were going to get hlep for it everyone would ber so happy for you. Same with drugs, MOST people don't understand the addiction to food.< /p>

You've made a FABULOUS choice for yourself, if you follow the rules with a little help from your BAND it will be the best choice you've made!! AND you're not alone, we're all here to help along the way!!

Laya, you're so right about the addiction part -- most people don't understand that. And, unlike alcohol and drugs, we can't live without food!