My surgery is scheduled for May 12th and a question about what to tell children

[CyndiMomto3 0]

Hi everyone! Here is my second attempt to post this message as my other one went poof and froze up on me :biggrin:

My name is Cyndi, I am 30 years old and live in Nebraska with my husband of 7.5 years and our two kids; Emily, who will be 7 on Sunday, and Gavin, 17 months.

I have been struggling with my weight all my life and have always felt fat, even when I wasn't. I was never a skinny minny, but I didn't look as bad as I thought I did. I am close to my highest weight ever at 270lbs. I am about 5'5" or 5'6" (not sure) and a size 22 is getting tight on me. I am tired of being overweight and I am tired of being paranoid that people don't like me because of the way I look. I don't like the woman staring back in the mirror and I want to learn how to eat healthy. I am tired of being tired all the time and I want to be here for my kids as they get older. I know I have a long uphill battle ahead of me, but I am ready, boy am I ready!

So on to the surgery details! I had my consult with the surgeon today and got scheduled to have my surgery May 12th! I can't believe how soon it is! My surgeon requires a 10 day liquid diet so I will start that this coming Saturday. That is going to be hard, especially when I'm at work since I tend to munch at my desk a lot.

Here is a list of what I have done so far: (Anthem BCBS through eBay)

-Attended seminar late last summer

-Met with the bariatric dietician and nurse navigator

-Met with my reg dr so we could discuss the surgery and had him send in my file, complete with all documented weight loss attempts over the years

-Psychiatric eval about 2 months ago (that lady took forever to send my file over!)

-Dr visit with the surgeon today!

I am wondering what to tell my daughter, the almost 7 year old. She worried a lot about me when I was in the hospital having her brother so I don't want to give her too much information. I don't necessarily want to lie, but don't know what to say. Thanks in advance for any advice and nice to meet you!

Cyndi in Nebraska

[bearbandit 0]

My daughter was eight when I got my band. I showed her diagrams about what the band is. She understands what it does and I explained to her that because of the band I can only eat a little bit at a time. Seemed to not be a problem. Good luck

[Jaffa 5]

Tell her nothing. She is too young to really understand, and what good will it do her? You need her to know, for what reason? It only adds stress and confusion to a little life, that doesn't need it.

[CyndiMomto3 0]

Tell her nothing. She is too young to really understand, and what good will it do her? You need her to know, for what reason? It only adds stress and confusion to a little life, that doesn't need it.

Thanks for your input. The only reason I am thinking about telling her is that A) She is going to wonder why I will be in the hospital and :biggrin: I am assuming that I will be a little sore after and she may notice that I seem "hurt" and she will definitely notice that I won't be picking up her brother as much.

[CyndiMomto3 0]

My daughter was eight when I got my band. I showed her diagrams about what the band is. She understands what it does and I explained to her that because of the band I can only eat a little bit at a time. Seemed to not be a problem. Good luck

Thanks for the advice. Am I reading your ticker right, that you has surgery about 6 months ago and have lost over 100 lbs? WOW! Congrats! Please share some tips with a newbie :biggrin:

[ThinknHealthy 0]

You know her better than we do. It is probably best to tell her something but on her level. You could explain that Mommy needs to have a simple procedure done that will require her to be on a special diet for a while. As you are getting closer to the surgery, explain that Mommy will need a little time to rest after this simple procedure. You could say "you know a cool thing after I have this done is that I will start losing weight and will be able to take you and your little brother to more places and we will have more fun together." Will you have an overnight stay in the hospital or something? You might arrange for her to spend the night (or day) with a friend or relative, something that would be fun and take her mind off what you are doing. I sent my 12 year old to church camp that week (it was in June). She wasn't worried at all. I called her after the surgery and it was like "okay Mom, gotta go, see ya later." Kids are easily distracted but do pick up on our anxiety. If we are worried and in turmoil over something, they do pick up on that. Best to just let them know something just so their active imaginations don't invent some other awful thing that is going on. Let her know that you are excited to have this procedure because it will make all your lives so much better. Let her share in your excitement.

[reneek 1]

We have so much in common Heavyhevicynid. My surgery is scheduled for May 12. I have two kids a little girl who is 6 and a little boy who is 9months. I have been married to my husband for 7 years and i am 28. I also am 5'6 and weight 275lbs and also wear a size 22. I also thought alot about what i was going to tell my daughter. I told my daughter that i was having surgery and that it was to make me healthy. I didn't go into details but she did ask me a few questions. She asked me how the doctor was going to make me healthy i told her that the doctor was going to fix my belly so i eat less. She was just fine with what i told her.

[Emilie1 3]

You do need to tell her something, my daughter was only four when I was banded. We always rough house and she needed to know that I could not for a while. They also notice when you can't eat normal food. I would just try to minimize it and reasure them. As far as when I was in the hospital I did not talk about that much, becuase it was only over night and I just told them I was going to the Dr. I was hardly missed. Good luck!

[bugginbri 0]

I think its smart to prepare her but she doesn't need all the details. I would say that the doctor is going to help mommy get healthy. Mommy will be sore for a few days but I will be back to normal very soon. Something along those lines. Good luck!

[CyndiMomto3 0]

Thank you so much to everyone for your advice, I really appreciate it!

[carrie0322 0]

Focus on the positive! Tell her you are going to get healthy so that you can be active with her.

I really hadn't thought about what to tell my sons, because they are 18 & 16. Both my husband and I are having surgery on the same date, May 19th. But the closer it gets the more questions from them. They are very supportive but I never noticed that our family time always involves food and that will be a change for us.

Best of Luck!