Is it possible to develop an eating disorder with lap band?

[LoriPA 4]

The reason I ask is that I have done some work for a fellow lap bander who is a colleague of mine and we had become friends as a result of this common bond, being we could identify with each other's struggles and victories with our lap bands.

With that aside, a recent issue concerns me. She was always a stickler for Protein and Water intake before, followed the band rules to the letter, and lost considerable weight, just as I had.

Well, in the meantime, she had been communicating with a guy for a little over a year and they'd gotten close, despite him sending mixed signals between outright flirting and some deep conversations. Things were great....until recently.

He'd gotten interested in some girl overseas and made it known he "liked" her. The girl is considerably younger and about 50 pounds lighter than my friend/colleague, though no supermodel herself. And she has a child, while my friend/colleague is childless. As for the guy, he decided he only wanted to "remain friends" with my colleague, and it sent her into a tailspin of feelings of abandonment, anger, depression, and self-image crashed altogether.

Her diet now consists of water, cigarettes, yogurt, toast, coffee, and diet soda. And she exercises more often than she had before; one hour before all this was sufficient, now it's two hours nearly every day at the gym.

I'm really worried she is going to do some serious damage to both her health and band. What do you think? I am at a loss on how to help but I don't want to abandon someone in their obvious time of need.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

It sounds to me that your friend was putting all her positive identification in another person's attention to her. It hasn't worked the way she wants it to and she's depressed, among other things. I highly recommend counseling. The simple truth every person must learn is that happiness doesn't come from another person. You have to be happy within yourself. Another person can give you happy experiences (and, of course, the opposite as well) but another person cannot fill all the blanks and empty spaces, so to speak. I understand your friend's pain but she's not coping with it very well at all. Depression is insidious and many people who are depressed simply do not see themselves as depressed. If she is someone who will listen to you and understand that your only wish is for her to feel better, happier, more like she did not so long ago, then try to convince her to seek counseling. The failure, if there truly was one, in the "relationship" is that it didn't work out, not that she did anything to keep it from working out. I will say that it sounds like it was an online relationship, something which is notorious for not succeeding. It can start that way, but it takes real time togetherness to create anything lasting.

[circa 0]

I think this is one of the reasons why so many surgeons and advocates of WLS stress counseling - having a positive body image also means not taking into account others actions and opinions.

[HeatherO 7]

I agree on getting counseling if possible in her situation. However, it is good that she has a concerned friend that she can share her thoughts and feelings with. The more you can be there for her, the better. Especially if this depression lasts more than a week or two.

I don't think banding in itself makes it more or less likely to have an eating disorder. However, those that have gotten to the point of needing the band or other WLS already tended to have a somewhat unhealthy relationship with food in the first place. It is very common for people to deal with a lot of extra stress by either eating too much or not eating depending on their personal preference.

[emily111 3]

YES!!! It is very possible to develope and eating disorder after having the band... Thats why they make us see the shrink in the begining.. My cousin developed one very very bad. Me I have had my band for 9 months and I am doing great although I do at times have to make myself eat... or I will eat ice cream as a diet.. not good.. so we all just have to watch it and try to stay healthy and on track :drool:

[LoriPA 4]

I got some good news this morning. I talked to Sherry and she let me know that she found a therapist that specializes in both patients who had WLS and those with eating disorders. She also knows I'm here for support. She's also been started on a low dose of Prozac and I know she's trying to make an effort to get back on track when she asked advice on various uses for Protein powder! We're also going to do a Leslie Sansone walking video together tonight

[StephOnee 1]

it deffinantly sucks to like somebody so much and have them choose someone else over you. In my case the other girl also had a kid and was no where near as pretty as me (not to sound too concited..but it's true). And me and the guy I liked had a better relationship as well! I don't know why, and I'm left to this day still trying to figure it out (it has been about 3years), and i still think about him constantly. I had always had eating issues before but i had them under control and i was at a healthy weight and i looked amazing, but After he started dating this other girl everything changed I completely fell off the band wagon and gained about 91lbs (before I got my band). So i had almost the same exact story...except for i didn't eat less ...i ate more! I still think i should get counsling (i obviously am taking steps towards a healthier life *with my band*) but i don't know why i still always think of him! I think he was my first love though! Now i am in a relationship with someone else (the person i guess you can say i "setled" for ...i know that sounds bad), and i never stop thinking about the other guy...& i know the guy i'm with now deserves better cause (i have been with him for a little over 3 years & i know i don't want to marry him...but i haven't let him in on that yet)...i know i should break up with him, but for some reason i just won't! =/