Is it cheating or eating like a normal person?

[JENNIFER7375 3]

earlier this week i had a craving for ice cream. not really sure why but just really wanted it. so i went to the store got a half gallon of rocky road. i ate a small dish. it satisfied the craving. i never went back for more. when my younger sister saw me eating it she accused me of cheating on my band, asked what was the point of the band if i was gonna cheat. i dont consider this cheating. i consider it normal. dont people that are thin already have an occasional snack. it really pissed me off. one of the worst things about my previous eating habits was the continuous guilt i felt over every bite i put in my mouth. thats part of how i got fat. you eat something thats bads for you, then you fell guilty over what you ate. the guilt then makes you depressed. then you eat again cause you feel depressed. i've tried really hard to overcome that vicious cycle. so i've tried to make an occasional guilt free indulgence part of my new life change. does anyone else feel this way. have family or co-workers that scrutinize every bite that you put in your mouth?

[HeatherO 7]

I dont get that scrutiny so much because I have not told coworkers and only my husband and brother know about it.

It seems perfectly normal to have an occasional indulgence as long as you stay on task the majority of the time.

However, only you know if this is something that may cause you to backslide into behaviors that become habitual and may cost you the attainment of your eventual goals. Some people can do this without harm, others start to have problems. I think it is all dependent on how you look at it yourself as to whether it is good or bad. I think guilt causes more harm than good.

For me, I would allow myself something off plan once a week, guilt free. It didnt keep my from goal . . . but if I started doing this every day I know I would never have made it to goal.

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

I agree. I do dislike that whole "diet police" thing that some people get into. I guess if it had been me, I might have bought a low carb sugar free ice cream but then again, maybe not, LOL. I do think I would have told your sister than the choice was yours and that you thought it was rude of her to try to be the diet police, but I don't know your sister and it might have started an argument. My sister, thankfully, has been nothing but supportive. And for what it's worth, I cheat once a month. We have a birthday cake in my office once a month, and I'm the one the orders it. I get them from a bakery that makes fabulous cakes and every month, I cut a thin slice and I enjoy those few bites like what they are -- a very special treat. It hasn't made a difference in my weight loss. I'm down 51 pounds since surgery on February 10. In the end, if you deny yourself the occasional bit of something like that, you'll end up "falling off the wagon" big time eventually and eating a bunch of something you shouldn't have.

[Jachut 487]

For me personally, I never went on this to be on a diet for the rest of my life. I dont even schedule things like this to once a week or whatever, if I want something, like really want it, not just a passing thought, I will have it. Sometimes, I go through a few days of eating total crap and I just go with it, knowing I will get back on track. I keep my exercise constant throughout and dont connect it with food, like if I've been "bad" I dont skip the workout too.

Its individual though, many people love the routine and strictness of a diet and it makes them feel in control. Personally, however, I think this avoids the important skill of learning to integrate ALL foods that you face in day to day life into your lifestyle. You need to be able to go on holidays, face a birthday in the office, run out of food in the house and have to order a take away dinner etc without it being a fall off the wagon. Its just life. Thin people eat those foods too, they're not living their lives counting, weighing, measuring and journalling.

That's just my take on it but my experience was I started acting normal and lo and behold,my weight became normal. Well, normal if you count running an hour a day normal, lol.

[talkalot1981 5]

I haven't been banded yet but I know how you feel. About the guilty part. My husband, kids and I went to cold stone for some icecream. Of course my kids got a kids size. Well my husband ordered a "Gotta Have it" size. (Large) well I ordered the same thing. He looked at me all wierd and said "are you sure you want that size" I could have choked him. I know he wasn't tryint to be mean cause the 10 years we have been together he has never made any comment about my weight. EVER So for him to say this really pissed me off. He knew it made me mad so of course he tried to make things better. I just don't understand. Was it ok for him to order that size because he is not over weight? That is what pisses me off at some people. You see a skinny person eating ice cream or what ever and it is ok. You see a fat person eating the same thing and they get bad looks or those little snickers. Sorry just had to vent. Jennifer

Don't feel bad for eating ice cream. If you eat the whole half gallon at a time them you might want to feel bad. LOL

[Catherine55 43]

I agree with Parrothead & Jacqui. It's fine to have a treat now and then. You got a small and it satisfied your craving -- that behavior is fine. I hate the whole diet police thing as well, and that's one part of the reason I haven't told everyone about my band.

I hope you told your sister "I've lost 34 lbs -- get off my back!" Seriously. This is a change in overall lifestyle, not a diet. Obviously, none of us should be having ice cream on a regular basis, but once in a while as a special thing, it's fine to have a treat in moderation.

Also, it's hard to tell from your message whether your sister was being rude and judgmental, or whether she spoke out of concern for and a desire to support you. Hopefully it was the latter. If so, cut her some slack and explain to her why it's not "cheating." If not, you might want to point out that this kind of criticism isn't welcome or helpful.

Hang in there!

Catherine

[KelinTx 1]

I can tell you with complete honesty that since i have been banded i have not deprived myself. I find that if i feel that ive neglected myself something that i truly wanted, i do myself worse damage. So when the occasion comes up if i want a piece of candy or cake or pie or ice cream or french fries ......what ever the case may be. I have it, BUT... only a few bites, and i do not make it an every day occasion. I attribute my long term success to this, as i basically eat what i want only VERY LITTLE of it. Its my band that enables me to be content with just a few bites of whatever.

[JENNIFER7375 3]

thank you so much for all the support ladies. you all understand where im coming from. i didnt get the band to spend my life dieting, i've been down that road and failed many times. i did it as a tool to help me get healthy. and to me part of being healthy is an occasional treat without guilt and rebound eating.if not for a reason to have every bite put under a microscope. if i do that im still letting my life revolve around found. and the other thing that bugged me is that after my sister ran her mouth she ate a huge dish of my ice cream!

[Vicki J 0]

REPEAT AFTER ME: THIS IS NOT A DIET. THIS IS A NORMAL LIFE.

The key to this thing is to make a decission and a plan. Next time I would get a smaller size (more expensive I know) but then you will have to decide to go get more if you want more. Having to get in the car and go get it gives you time to make sure you are the one in control.

Now repeat the first part again.

[crzytchr 3]

I do not deny myself anything that I want that my band will allow. Tonight my daughter is making a hot fudge sundae cake and I will eat a piece with a scoop of ice cream. Before banding I would have put 2 scoops of ice cream AND gone back for seconds. I did not get my band to feel like I was dieting my whole life. I eat whatever I want, just a LOT LESS of it.

[OnTheWay to Thin 0]

I have not gotten my band yet I am mid process. But should by June, but I agree with the above, you cant never have a treat, no one can do that. This reaction by your sister is the main reason I am not broadcasting that I am getting the band, I dont want the diet police watching my every move. That does not mean I am not 100% dedicated to the weight loss, but unless you go through this I dont think you can fully understand what works and what does not and therefore well meaning outsiders can often hurt more than help. Dont feel guilty and try and let her comments roll off.

[Jazzy4Health 0]

Congrats on your loss. I was wondering to what do you attribute the high weight loss success that you have had? Do you exercise a great deal? Any input would be appreciated. I see such varied losses. I was banded on the 15th and have lost 10 lbs (as of 1 wk post-op). Monday is my first follow-up, so I will wait to find out my official loss until then. It is a bit of a behavior issue I am working with myself not to give in to the "need" to hop on the scale on a daily basis. Just trying to limit it to once weekly. I would love to hear from you or anyone with their success strategies. I am exercising. In fact, back to the gym in the a.m. and cannot wait! Hope to hear from you when you have a chance. Enjoy the weekend.

[Jachut 487]

Oh, I defintely believe exercise is key. Start where you can and build up to varied, intense workouts on an almost daily basis. Stuff like interval training is very effective. I do lots of circuit style or biggest loser style workouts, you know where you see them almost killing themselves with pushups and the like, I love interval running sessions and reward myself with a nice relaxing slower 10K run on Sundays! I'm really passionate about it.

But I did have to start out slow and build up to it!

I also believe my non diet approach kept me more on the straight and narrow than an endless cycle of being on the diet/off the diet. The band took away my fear of those foods and suddenly,when I knew I could have them, after a few overindulgences, you realise you dont need to scarf it down every time, that you can have it whenever you want.

[wstorms 2]

I REFUSE to think of this journey as a diet!! I do, for the most part make better choices of what I eat, but I eat what I want!!! The difference is the before me would have eaten half that container of ice cream the now me would eat half a cup!!! I do not deprive myself, if I do I would obsess about what ever it is I am not allowing myself to have! Now I do not indulge in everything I want, I feel everything should be in moderation...that is the key! For instance have the small ice cream once a week, not everyday!

For me this was a lifestyle change, and so far it has been working. I am going to quote Jachut here from another post , "It is all about calories and and calories out." MODERATION!!!!

If anyone would have talked to me that way I would have set them straight in an instant. Stand up for yourself! You are doing a WONDERFUL job KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

[sandyswhisper 0]

This ranks up there with being critisized for ordering a diet coke with your meal at McDonalds. People comment "drinking that isn't going to negate the calories in your sandwich or fries," MAN....WHAT IF I ACTUALLY LIKE DIET COKE???!!!!

I am post op now (banded 4/15) so the soda thing isn't relevant at the moment...but still...I can't stand when people assume that a 'big person' is ordering diet soda our of guilt!