I just need a pick me up :(

[keepingfaith08 0]

One of my good friends was hanging out with me today, and he asked me to go get something from the kitchen. I was like, "Ugh, I don't wanna get up!" like joking, and then I went to the kitchen. When I was walking back, he looked me up and down and said, "You're not gonna lose weight just because of your diet changes, you're gonna have to move at least a little." and he was really rude about it.

What right does he have to comment on MY weight loss? This isn't for HIM, this is for ME. Also, I was already feeling low because I got my first fill and I don't feel any restriction whatsoever. I mean, I have to eat slower, but I can still eat more than I'm supposed to be able to. It just really got me down and depressed about not losing weight as fast as I wanted to. He said that, and now I'm worried that other people are saying stuff about my weight loss being so slow, and it depresses me even more.

I guess I could just use some encouragement..

[baps813 0]

You already said it- He has no right! Keep the faith like your name suggests and focus on you. There will always be people that say things they shouldn't or even people that want you to fail, but you did this for you and that's who you should focus on...YOU!

good luck!!!

[Mike S. 0]

He has NO RIGHT at all to say that!!! Is he that clueless that he has no regard to your feelings? Does he think that weight loss is going to be magically achieved by getting him something from the kitchen? The intent of what he said may be "OK", but I would have a problem with HOW he said it.

This is none of my business, but why didn't HE get his own stuff from the kitchen????

[mishade79 0]

Don't take this the wrong way but people like to see other people fail. They do because that way when they fail they dont feel so bad. They will also not want you to change for their own emotional needs. Think about what you are doing in this persons life that if you are thin and active might change. When you have more confidence in yourself is this still someone you would choose to be around. Are you sure this is a friend? A true friend will be happy and supportive not negative. As you loose the weight you are going to encounter alot of negativity try to find someone who is supportive or come blog with us. Keep your head up and don't let any one discourage you.

[cwm812 11]

Hey, he was rude and so is most of the world in regard to fat people. I am married to a thin man and he after 20 years he has learned not to give me "helpful" advice. From your ticker, you are doing just fine. If you're like me, no one will say a word and then all of a sudden they are remarking on how great you look. I love the compliments, but it's the folks on this forum who have a clue about how hard it is and and offer actual helpful advice. Try not to let it bother you, he has no idea what he's talking about.

Cindy

[terelbel 0]

Keep your head up, certainly you know what you have to do. And don't let people talk to you any kind a way either. You call them out. Some time you have to demand respect, verbally. See how it make them feel! Ultimately your wt loss will prove all nay sayers wrong. Do it for you.

[keepingfaith08 0]

Thanks everyone, that really helped! That's exactly why I like these forums!

Mike: lol I don't know why he couldn't get it himself...I should've just made him get it, he's a very lazy person.

cwm812: yeah, that's probably what's going to happen. A lot of my friends right now are actually saying that I shouldn't have gotten lapband because I looked fine. WELL I'm tired of just looking FINE I want to look GOOD and feel good about myself!

[Libbyjane1976 1]

Well you are well on your way. You've lost 30 lbs since the start of your journey that's pretty freaking awesome!!! He's a jerk for even saying what he said.

[HeatherO 7]

I agree with everyone else. Just let it roll off of you, and it wont be long before you look 110% different then before banding and it is already beginning. You have already committed to making a change so it doesn't really matter so much what other people say or think unless you allow it to affect you.

I also agree with calling him out on it. If he is your friend and hurt your feelings, he should know. If you don't say anything but just allow yourself to feel bad, he might do it again and no one is gaining anything.

[DivaStyleCoach 89]

One of my good friends was hanging out with me today, and he asked me to go get something from the kitchen. I was like, "Ugh, I don't wanna get up!" like joking, and then I went to the kitchen. When I was walking back, he looked me up and down and said, "You're not gonna lose weight just because of your diet changes, you're gonna have to move at least a little." and he was really rude about it.

KeepingFaith,

You've gotten some great advice here, and I just want to add my point of view...

What he said was rude and uncalled for - and you should definately bring it to his attention. Now that you've calmed down a bit, ask him if he really intended to hurt your feelings. Sometimes people think they are "helping" when all they are doing is hurting us. If he understands that his off-hand comment hurt you and doesn't apologize for it, then he may be one of those people you can't share every aspect of this journey with.

You should also take pride in what you've accomplished so far - you are doing well and don't let ANYONE take that away from you. We all were banded because we knew we needed to make a change - and you are DOING IT!

Because it doesn't happen at his speed, or overnight, should make absolutely NO difference. You are doing this for YOU and you've done well so far.

Hold your head up high, and next time - let him get his OWN Snacks / drinks / stuff from the kitchen! And he can get yours while he's up!:w00t:

[keepingfaith08 0]

I asked him about it, and he said that as soon as it came out of his mouth, he saw that it hurt me and he regretted saying it. He said that he didn't say sorry earlier because he felt really bad about saying it. He also said that the reason he said anything at all was because I was talking to my other friend Dana about how I didn't have any restriction and I was afraid that I was gonna not lose weight as fast as I have been, and he overheard.

Thank you everyone! Before my surgery, I don't think I would've had the guts to say anything, but with your support and the new confidence that I'm slowing finding, I did it!