why such secrecy?

[julie2 0]

My husband, parents, sister, and a few friends know but that's it. I'm not telling a lot of people about it basically because I don't really want to hear their opinions. I didn't want food police, I didn't want to hear about there sister's friend's mom who had it and died, and I didn't want to be identified as "Julie the girl with the lapband." If someone comes out and asks me if I had it done I would tell them. But I'm just not going to tell every single person I meet that I've had it done, I'm a pretty private person and thats just not me.

[jukebox81782 0]

Exactly! So like when someone comes up to me and compliments me on how much weight I've lost and asks how I did it--I'd be honest...and tell them that with diet, exercise, and a little help from your local bariatric surgeon, you too could lose 20 lbs in eight days...

[Gracey 7]

Growing up, my father had two nicknames for me--thunder thighs and fat sh*t. My uncle called me Buddha.

Wow, I am so sorry....what crap weasels.

I want to make sure that I was in no way trying to imply that people should or shouldn't tell. I completely agree that it's a personal choice. I think the thing that was bothering me the most was that people online here would post something like, "I'm having dinner with my dad tomorrow, and I'm on a liquid diet, and he can't find out about my surgery...WHAT DO I DO?"

Now, I know that some people do not have the support system and relationships with family/friends that I have. I've always been able to be open and honest with everyone in my life about everything I chose to be open and honest about. But you are all correct--it was MY CHOICE.

On a side note, I think it's slightly irresponsible to allow people to encourage you and believe that you are having such success and weightloss simply by diet and exercise alone. If that were the true case, why have the surgery at all? In my opinion, it sets false expectations for other overweight/obese people. Just my two cents...

Why do you feel like it's stranger's business how someone loses weight? I have a feeling that you're an open book by nature.

However, I wish I'd told fewer people because I have had a tough time with being too tight and then once I get unfilled, I eat too much. So I'm only down 20 pounds and it's NO ONE ELSE'S business about that except me.

Please keep in mind that every person you come in contact with has a different life experiences and feels differently about their own privacy and their own bodies.

[jukebox81782 0]

You're right...I am an open book by nature. I'm very honest. I'm also very opinionated.

It's up to the individual to disclose how/why they've lost their weight. All I'm saying is that it's--in my opinion--socially and morally reprehensible to mislead people into thinking that the success you've had was not at all in part due to the fact that you were banded. If you say, "I eat right, I work out everyday," and don't mention the band, it sets false expectations. For example, I have a friend who's overweight, and we've bonded over our overeating and self-loathing...hell, we've made it an art form...how could I look her in the face and watch her struggle with her unsuccessful diets and have her see me and my success and let her believe that I lost my weight all alone? There's no way. I guess I'm just a different kind of person than others...and that's ok! To each his/her own, right?

[cindie74 0]

ive told everyone vecause i believe that i have more of a chance of sucess because i wont cheat it if i know everone is watching everything i put in my mouth

[hakunamatata_ca 0]

You're right...I am an open book by nature. I'm very honest. I'm also very opinionated.

It's up to the individual to disclose how/why they've lost their weight. All I'm saying is that it's--in my opinion--socially and morally reprehensible to mislead people into thinking that the success you've had was not at all in part due to the fact that you were banded. If you say, "I eat right, I work out everyday," and don't mention the band, it sets false expectations. For example, I have a friend who's overweight, and we've bonded over our overeating and self-loathing...hell, we've made it an art form...how could I look her in the face and watch her struggle with her unsuccessful diets and have her see me and my success and let her believe that I lost my weight all alone? There's no way. I guess I'm just a different kind of person than others...and that's ok! To each his/her own, right?

You're right...I am an open book by nature. I'm very honest. I'm also very opinionated.

This is my problem! I tend to tell too much about myself for some reason. Also overly honest and opinionated. We are much alike.:rolleyes2:

I would think on an individual basis such as with a friend struggling with dieting it would be different to explain to them but everyone does not need to know. Like someone else mentioned earlier - you don't necessarily tell people if you have a hysterectomy or other "personal" surgury. The world can be a rough place when people don't understand.

[Catherine55 43]

All I'm saying is that it's--in my opinion--socially and morally reprehensible to mislead people into thinking that the success you've had was not at all in part due to the fact that you were banded. . . . . There's no way. I guess I'm just a different kind of person than others...and that's ok! To each his/her own, right?

Wow. This is the first time I've really wanted to post something snarky on this site. Please know that I am holding back considerably.

Clearly, you are not getting the distinction between setting boundaries and being deceptive. That you are not a private person and do not mind disclosing your medical information to others, does not somehow make you morally superior. I am pretty shocked by how judgmental and narrow minded your posts in this string are.

I'm not going to engage on this any further. It seems clear that you are just posting this to agitate people. I truly hope that none of the other bandsters who read this post are caused to question their own personal decisions.

Catherine

[notateechanow 7]

Clearly, you are not getting the distinction between setting boundaries and being deceptive. That you are not a private person and do not mind disclosing your medical information to others, does not somehow make you morally superior. I am pretty shocked by how judgmental and narrow minded your posts in this string are.

I'm not going to engage on this any further. It seems clear that you are just posting this to agitate people. I truly hope that none of the other bandsters who read this post are caused to question their own personal decisions.

Catherine

Catherine,

You have to consider the source. First, she's 26 years old. Maybe she doesn't have much life or worldly experience. We were all pretty narrow minded in our own way at that age. More importantly, she was banded less than 10 days ago. For her to believe that this band is anything other than a simple tool is because of her lack of experience. I hope the original poster will re-read this thread in say----OH, another hundred pounds---and see how she feels about the weight loss not being due to hard work and nutritional changes.

I've had my band for 16 months. I assure you that if my overweight friends restricted their caloric intake to merely 800-1000 calories a day AND exercised for over an hour a day at the intensity I do, they, too, could lose a hundred pounds. The band is not the reason I've lost the weight.....it was simply a tool that enabled me to stop compulsive behaviors and focus properly on what needed to be done.

You can't be offended by what someone says when she comes ill equipped to judge....

[JillBengt 0]

I have to agree with Luluc on this. For me, the lapband is about keeping the weight off. I have been quite successful in the past with Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig, especially when I was your age. I managed to take weight off before and after each of my kids. I made great choices and exercised like crazy. Each time I thought I had made a "lifestyle change". But, of course, the weight would slowly creep back on and as I aged, it became harder and harder to take it off.

For you, you are getting a handle on this early and will not have to go through those yo-yo years that many of us do as we get older. I applaud you for that. For me, I just want to be able to get the weight off and keep it off. I don't strive to be a size 2 or wear a bikini, I just want to be healthy for both myself and for my family.

I don't tell people that I have had the lapband mostly because I am embarrassed that I let my weight get so out-of-hand that I needed to resort to this in the first place. Even though I consider myself to be a happy, confident person, like many obese people, I have self-esteem issues stemming back from years of humiliation over my weight. I am not striving to be anyone's role model. As far as I am concerned overweight and obese people need to make their own decisions about their weight loss...just as I have. Besides, when someone drops a ton of weight, us overweight people just assume that they have had surgery anyway...it is the skinny people who think we do it with better nutrition and exercise. LOL

[Goldie1960 0]

I also agree with you Catherine and Luluc.

I didn't go around broadcasting the surgery, I only told a few of my family members and close friends. I didn't feel others needed to know, it was a personal decision and definitely not ashamed of my decision, in 4 months I've lost 47 lbs. Coworkers comment on my weight loss and I tell them exercise and Portion Control, I feel that's more than enough informaton!!! Keep up the good work.

[bklyn1984 0]

I chose to tell family and friends who I knew would be supportive of me. I do not welcome negativity and drama in my life. I had plenty of that in the past and I am over it and I am in a very good place right now. Besides it's none of anybody's business what I do with my life. Not everyone is as open as you are and if you know someone personally who had WLS and you know that they did not tell everyone I would hope that you would respect them enough not to say anything in public.

Congrats on your progress so far. Keep up the good work.

[irishgal 0]

I also agree with you Catherine and Luluc.

Sharing news about a medical procedure is a personal decision. I chose to tell only family members and a few friends. All of these individuals know that I choose to keep the information about my surgery private. Some day I may share the information with a few others. Last night I had dinner with two friends. At the end of our meal one of the women asked me how much weight I've lost. I told her and shared some of the lifestyle changes I've made. Without the band I don't think I ever would have been able to give up my daily dose of Diet Pepsi and my daily dose of overeating.

[BethFromVA 5]

I've noticed throughout my browsing the forums that a lot of people choose to keep the fact they have had or are planning to have surgery a secret. Why? I don't consider it shameful in the least bit, and I haven't kept it a secret from anyone. Granted, I haven't worn a nametag that says, "Hi, I'm Jessica! Ask me about my lap band!" but why such secrecy?

I don't tell people when I have a yeast infection either. Not that I'm ashamed, but for me, it's just nobody's business.

[luluc 6]

I don't tell people when I have a yeast infection either. Not that I'm ashamed, but for me, it's just nobody's business.

best response yet.

you crack me up beth.....

[BethFromVA 5]

well which is it?

your ok w/it being a personal decision, yet feel it's irresponsible not to share?

with all due respect - there is nothing false about diet & exercise. the lapband does not go food shopping for me, does not cook my meals, does not haul my a$$ up out of bed and drag it to the gym when i'd rather sleep in. those are lifestyle choices - so therefore there's absolutely no false expectations i'm purporting out to others about my weightloss.

my 3 cents.

I'm SO glad I read forward and saw that you said this. I LOVE this quote of yours and have used it often with others (giving you full credit, of course ).