I gotta ask about sex?

[BearSpiritGuide 0]

So I have been home a week and a half now and have not had a whole lot of desire for any sexual contact with my wife. This is very disconcerting for both of us since we were a 4 - 5 times a week couple.

Now my wife has slightly hurt feelings because she is worried that I think she is too fat for me now... I have assured her that this is not the case, but she is an ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS kinda gal.

I love my wife dearly and she is the sexiest woman I have ever been with. We are very computable in this area... VERY.

Frankly, it takes some effort to get *Uhm...* Well... READY....

Is this normal post-op (this was my first surgery ever)?

Is this normal for being on a liquid diet?

Anyone else experience this? C'mon guys I need to hear from you too.

-BSG

[ksill18 0]

well when i got my surger back in December the doc said no hanky panky for atleast 6 weeks....and honestly i really wasnt in the mood right after surgery. What your feeling is normal and your wife's insecurity has to stop good luck.

[bambam 0]

It was several weeks before I was interested as well. It really varies, I've read some people were ready within a week, but for me I was still sore and sensitive, especially near the port area. My hubby and I had a lot going on with our schedules at that time, so in addition to all that I was tired, not from surgery, but just from a busy schedule!

[carbgrl 0]

Your body has to have time to heal. Use this time to get closer in other ways, holding hands, cuddling..... try to reassure your wife.

[spud.mama 7]

IDK. I'm just curious about post op depression? That can cause that problem. Try to reassure her of your love in other ways. I know my husband's 'actions of love' are mainly in the bed and he's not got at the verbal and throughout the day actions of love.

Good luck, it will pass.

[spud.mama 7]

Hey! I saw a sex therapist on a thread sumwhere. She mite still be around--ask her.

[luluc 6]

i was banded the same day as my husband.

he struggled early out w/pain & lack of energy (due to the liquid post op diet) - so he didn't feel so "hot" for sex till he was about 3wks out.....one of the few times i was ready before him...LOL

just reassure your wife that this will pass - your active sex life will reassume once your feeling up to it.

[bignik 0]

Hi , I think perhaps you gotta give yourself some time to gather your thoughts , it is Im sure like the rest of us , a very tough time , with the worry of your recent op and what the future holds , sure your thoughts are no more than on this at present.

Reassure your wife you still love her, buy her a little gift and reassure her. Despite being post op a couple of weeks Im sure there is a lot you can both do to well ..... bring a smile to ones face , ask her to put on those favorite bedroom attire * wink * a man enjoys and Im sure the little man downstairs will perk up in no time .. sometimes when like this it just needs a little encouragement and what was what a no goer quickly can turnaround.

As for well .. the 6 weeks , I wasnt advised by my surgeon not to , he did advise no heavy excercise so suppose perhaps falls into that category ...

let me just say , well it didnt for me .... I just took the more relaxing position in bed and a little care well .... I was still smiling later

hope goes well and wish you all the best , Im sure will all get back to normal in no time.

[MADE IT 2 MY GOAL..OH YEAH 0]

So I have been home a week and a half now and have not had a whole lot of desire for any sexual contact with my wife. This is very disconcerting for both of us since we were a 4 - 5 times a week couple.

Now my wife has slightly hurt feelings because she is worried that I think she is too fat for me now... I have assured her that this is not the case, but she is an ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS kinda gal.

I love my wife dearly and she is the sexiest woman I have ever been with. We are very computable in this area... VERY.

Frankly, it takes some effort to get *Uhm...* Well... READY....

Is this normal post-op (this was my first surgery ever)?

Is this normal for being on a liquid diet?

Anyone else experience this? C'mon guys I need to hear from you too.

-BSG

I was the same way as you are for about a month after surgery. I think it is a combination of the major change you just went through, getting use to it, and maybe the liquid diet.< /p>

I may sound old fashion here, but there is more to sex than just sex. Intemacy is more than sex. If you aren't in the mood for sex yet, than try a little back rub (you give her one not her give you one lol), are major flirting. Kissing is nice and nibbling on the neck is good to. You don't have to always penetrate to be intimate. Be sure to always let her know that sex isn't the only reason you are with her.

I hope this helps you atleast a little. Good luck

[kristy6 0]

well I guess mine will sound gross but you know if you are not up to sex just yet ( which is understandable) maybe you could get to her climax in other ways... I mean a little rubbing the right way sure gets me there. I dont need a penis to have pleasure. I think she may like just to be kissed on and rubbed on to make her feel better.

Or possibly she coudl get on top if very very carefull. that way you dont really have to do anything but enjoy!

Hope this helps.

[Big Momma is Shrinking 0]

BSG....you are still healing and adjusting to a RADICAL change in your eating habits, it's very understandable that you just don't have the energy for sex....

Now saying that I also understand exactly how your wife is feeling....We are also a cpl that is VERY active....and if it is more then a few days that my husband seems "uninterested" I start to take it personally. Try explaining to her that you love her and still find her incrediably sexy and you can't wait until you can reconnect, ask her to be patient and try to keep the intamacy there.....sex doesn't equal love and right now she is problably feeling a little disconnected.

[2Flyguys 13]

i just wanted to let u know u sound like an AWESOME husband...i dont have any advice for u....but u sound great!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rcruz 0]

I would say that it isn't the actual sex she is missing here I think it's a tad bit of jealopusly not in a bad way don't take it like I am calling her jealous. But I agree with the others there are other ways giving her the attention she needs...I agree with kristy6 "other ways"

[silvers320 12]

She will change her tune in about 6-12 weeks as the lbs start to drop and you become horny like a 12 year old boy.

The crack of dawn wasnt safe around me.

[rcruz 0]

The crack either for me let me clairfy I never suggested the back door but other ways if you can use your imagination...