Terrified . . . please help

[Retta1983 0]

Hi,

Well I'm 25 and weigh 119kg's to date. I've been overweight since i was 12 and have jumped between acting ok with my weight and dieting/exercising to extremes so that i've lost weight but ended up sick. i'm not proud to say but there's been self-harm and very scary stuff going on in my head and it seems the only way to settle my depression and anxiety is by eating.

my dr suggested a lapband because my weight causes aggravation to my scoliosis, knee joint pain, and general comfort. i'm newly married and we want to start a family but i'm terrified of what pregnancy would do to my body as it is now. so i am considering lapband as an option but going on some anti-anxiety medication and getting regular counselling so that i can deal with my head as well as my body.

my husband is unsure about the whole thing and i find it so hard to communicate why i think that's the option rather than bumbling through diet and exercise, it's so emotinoal to share how i feel living this big, with the overwhelming anxiety and upset and how much i feel that i let everyone down simply by being me.

but then i have a creeping doubt . . . is the lapband going to be the right decision?

[Sue Magoo 71]

Hi:

I think I would work more on the emotional side before you get banded. The band has to work with your brain in sync, because if your brain wants you to eat the wrong things then the band won't work for you.

I hope you find peace in your mind and then find an answer to your weight issues.

Best wishes.

Sue

[CarmenPonce 0]

I can relate with your issues as I have also had to deal with anxiety for which I take medication. I have been hospitalized a few times for anxiety.

I have also been heavy for quite a while.

One thing my Doc told me (and it makes sense) is when you start to lose the weigh (in a healthy manor) your mental health will also improve. You see, because of the weight I have developed a hormone imbalance and by losing the excess weight I can help to regulate my hormones. Hormones can do craze things to us and make us do crazy things, you should have your hormones checked!

I can tell you I have lost 22lbs since 03/13/09 and am starting to feel better, my doc has even started to lower my anxiety med dosage.

BTW… my doc was not concerned with letting me have surgery while taking my anxiety meds.

[tully 0]

Hi Retta,

I have a very similar story to you, I am a few years older and a few kilos heavier, but pretty much the same.

I have decided to get a lapband and will be having the surgery in May and I can't wait. It is a personal decision though and I guess it is just something you need to think about.

I have already spent almost 20 years of my life losing and gaining the same weight and letting my weight hold me back from life and I am finally ready to start living my life.

Good luck with your decision. :-)

Cheers,

Tully.

[megsy101 0]

Hi,

I havent had any experience with anxiety so I can t comment there, but I have had 2 kids whilst being extremely overweight and it was tough.

What state are you in? I think the best thing you could do to help you and your husband understand about the lapband and all that is involved is to go to an information night. I know they have them regularly in Melb.

One of the important things to realise is that people with as much weight to lose as most of us in this forum do, cant do it on there own. Without the band, we would never succeed at losing ALL our weight and keeping it off. This is a health issue, not a cosmetic issue. When I was deliberating about whether to be banded or not, my GP told me that if it was some other kind of surgery that i needed (knee, kidney, whatever) that I wouldnt think twice about having the surgery, so why hold back from getting this done. She was so right!

I first started researching the band after the birth of my first child (2003 @ 110kg) and it took me 6 years and an extra 25kg to decide to do it. My only regret is that I didnt have it done sooner. This is the single best thing that I have ever done for myself. Everyone else benefits from me losing weight but I am the winner here.

At the end of the day, you do need your husbands support in this, but this is something that you have to decide for you. Nobody can make you do it and they are not the ones that have to have fluids for weeks on end. If you truly feel that lapband is the way for you, then do it. I'm sure your hubby will back you up when you yourself have made the decision.

hope this helps.

Megs

[Retta1983 0]

thank you all for your advice. bears lots of thinking about! i'm 120kg's now and my biggest issue is my back. other things - anxiety, depression, knee pain . . . those things are bad but with my back i have serious pain and some of the bones are already deteriorating and the weight is making things worse ansd worse.

makes me feel that i need the lap band for long term weight loss, that it will help me no end in my health but that at the same time i will keep working on my anxiety and depression because that's so important and could hinder my future weight and state of mind so much. the surgeon i saw was supportive and advised ways to cope, along with teh support of my psychologist, gp and psychiatrist i feel that i have good tools to get me far in this journey. it's going to be really hard work every step i know, but just imagining what life could be is pushing me and pushing me.

my husband looks so afraid for me in my constant struggles and is supportive of me when i make moves to improve my health. he will be supportive of the band but is afraid of the idea of me having surgery and worries about possible complications, but we'll get through it together. there's always going to be worries i know - but not doing anything and getting even bigger and more unwell is way scarier.

[megsy101 0]

Hi Retta,

Everybody is different, so keep that in mind when I say the next thing. I was 129kg on the day of surgery (had lost 4kg on the pre-op diet) and I did not have one issue after the surgery. I had panadol the entire next day but i think that was more as a precaution than a need - if that makes sense. I was driving on day 2 and worked for a couple of hours on each of day 3/4. Day 5 I had the kids by myself and the only issue I had was picking up my 2 year old son.....but we managed.

Maybe you need to imagine yourself at a cross-roads of your life. One road leads down to the same place we have ALL been before and the other leads to somewhere different, it winds up into a place you havn't been before (or for a while anyway...). I am on that road and I am loving it!!

Choose Life - things can only get better as you lose the weight. There may be some trials and tribulations along the way, but ultimately it is all worth it.

There are plenty of people on this site who you can talk to (dump on) if/when things arent so great... and they are the same people who you can Celebrate with when things are great.

catch ya

Megs

[Freckles 0]

Hi Retta, good luck sweetheart in whatever you decide, but can I just say that my daughter was banded in 2005 and she has lost 8 stone up to now. She is also 4 months pregnant, and has to have C sections (she has 2 other kids). She loves being pregnant, whilst slim, and has only put on 2lbs.

I have read the other posts, and I am so enchanted by the lovely people on this board, everyone is so kind and nice, and willing to give their advice and their views, so refreshing to 'meet' so much kindness all in one place.

I am proud to be a member of this fabulous community.:drool:

btw I know this is the Ozzy thread, but my other daughter has just moved to the Gold Coast, so I feel closer to you all, hope you dont mind me sticking my nose in.

Edited April 11, 2009 by Freckles

[Retta1983 0]

Yes I agree, I feel quite enchanted by how eager everyone has been in giving advice.

I'm excited to feel I can say I'm able to look into having a lap band put in late May. Have to call the surgeon to see if he wants me to make another appointment before then once we're back at work on Tuesday.

I feel nervous, excited .. . and also a little scared. Mostly because the idea of losing all this weight and no longer being really fat is something that I just don't remember, it's foreign to me so pretty scary but I think that the change is gonig to be incredibly positive all around.

I'd be eager to hear about other people's experiences during this time and right after the surgery! xx

[megsy101 0]

Well Done!! You wont regret your decision.

best of luck

[shaggs 0]

Hi Retta, congratulations on your decision - I'm sure you wont regret it! Remember that complications are very rare and are nothing compared to the complications of being overweight and especially pregnant! I had 2 overweight pregnancies and one normal weight and being overweight makes things so much harder and more dangerous especially if you need an epidural (which lets fact it most people have these days). And lets not forget the health effects of being overweight in itself. I had bad knees, hips and feet and I knew I was headed for a joint replacement somewhere down the track and now almost all pain is completely gone just 2 months after surgery and only 10kg down! The pain was the first thing to go!!!!! I decided that I would rather have surgery to fix the weight and the joints now rather than surgery later that would only fix maybe one joint at a time. It was a no brainer! I saw people in hospital who had had knee and hip surgeries and boy was I glad I wasnt them! That looked painful and debilitating! As for my mood, I am naturally a rather depressive person (have taken medication once before in my life) and I am also an old hand at self hatred and shame about my weight and I cannot say how much this surgery has helped me. I REALLY dont hate myself anymore. I feel like I have actually helped myself and been my own best friend for the first time in my life. I am giving myself the best chance I can. Eliminating the self loathing and excess and guilt and disgust from your life just cannot be measured. You may have your ups and downs but you wont crash like you used to - I feel my moods now are only related to PMT and I'm even getting that under control (I think LOL) Let me tell you, you will not look back! And these are the benefits I didnt expect or even know about before hand. Lets not mention losing weight and fitting into fab jeans and the wonderful comments you will get. You will just love yourself sick! You go girl, keep us all posted, I'm sure there will be lots of pre and post op advice on its way!