My own friends don't notice???

[Chicky abby 0]

So I had surgery almost 8 weeks ago, lost over 35 pounds, and a TON of inches. I was disappointed that I went out last night with the girls I haven't seen since Christmas, who KNOW I had surgery, and no one said anything. Not even 'you look good'. I was crushed. I am wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in two years, I wore high heels that I hadn't been able to walk in, and nothing. I ate half a salad because I wasn't hungry. Nothing. It's like it is a taboo subject? I felt so miserable when I came hom. I have such a long road ahead and I thought, wow, I am so fat no one can notice 35 pound weight loss? Is it just me?

[rdogg 0]

Don't be discouraged, you are doing great. That is an awesome weight loss. Sounds like your friends could be a little jealous. Same thing with me, I lost 45 so far and my own sister hasn't said anything to me about my loss. She only makes comments to other people about how I should have the band taken out. So I know what you are talking about I just try to ignore it but it hurts. Best of luck to you!

[debbie_7155 0]

I too agree you are doing an awesome job & dont let anyone make you feel the way you did last night, to me if they were true friends they would have said something even you look lovely tonight is better than a no comment,

Because they know you have had surgery i find it hard to believe they might feel slightly uncomfortable saying something?

Anyway you go girl your doing a fab job & enjoy the benefits

[Chicky abby 0]

Thank you :-) Makes me feel better to hear your words of encouragement! My DH says the same, that they might be feeling jealous or insecure now that the token fat friend has made some serious changes. I just felt so deflated...before surgery I could barely walk half a block that's how bad I was. Just 35 pounds later I already feel like I lost 100 lbs because the pressure on my knees is gone! I just would have appreciated a little 'you go girl' from my two closest friends that I have known over 20 years.

[malissa 0]

I just wanted to say you are doing a wonderful job!

I'm sure they noticed. Who knows why they didn't say anything - but I wouldn't even worry about it.

Keep up the good work!!

[Mimilou2004 13]

Abby, I am sorry your friends didn't give you the affirmation you deserve. You did have many NSVs (non scale victories) though, with the wearing of smaller shoes and clothes!!! Give yourself a pat on the back and reward your success with a facial or manicure or pedicure...you deserve it!!!

Mimi

[Chicky abby 0]

Thanks Mimi! Never thought of the NSVs, love the idea and as it happens getting my hair and nails done tomorrow!

[deesim 0]

Congrats on the weight loss. So sorry about your friends. Sometimes women are so funny(weird not haha). They could be jealous,some might be worrying who will end up being the biggest. Your DH sounds like a great encouragement. Enjoy your new health and body!!!

[Totallytater 1]

I've got a better story than that. I went on a girls weekend with some old friends I haven't seen in 2 years. In the last 2 years, I have lost 100 POUNDS!!! They didn't say a word about it. Can you believe that?

[CanadianBandster 0]

didnt read the replies - but I bet they noticed and just didnt say anything. Sometimes people dont know if they should say anything or feel uncomfortable doing so!

[di1138 8]

Don't worry, they noticed but could be jealous or concerned about your feelings. Most I find are jealous. Finally after I lost 90 lbs one said "i see you lost some weight, do you think you will keep it off this time?" I responded I hope so and then offered her some of my old clothes which she took! Don't be discouraged you are doing great!!

[ParrotheadCathy 0]

They noticed! But they may have felt uncomfortable discussing it. Not even necessarily because of jealousy but because they thought perhaps you didn't want to be reminded of where you have already come from. I lost 110 pounds quite some time ago (and gained it back, of course) but one friend who never said a word finally admitted that she was afraid to mention anything about it because she didn't want me to think it made one iota of difference to our friendship.

[CapitolChick 1]

Hon, when I was close to 300 people did not say much until I lost over 60pounds (even though they could totally tell) it will get to a point that it will be like: a huge elephant in the room and one of your friends will start the conversation.

The other thing is: some so called friends don't like the former fatty to change which forces them to 'evaluate' the current situtation. When they are unable to say: "well I am not a big as [fill in the blank]" anymore..human nature is: some people feel really uncomfortable about that.

This is just the begining. Some will be super supportive, others won't comment at all and some will be down right bitches (men and women). Pull up your hooker boots and get ready for the fun to begin.

Edited March 28, 2009 by CapitolChick

[kristilaw 0]

I just hit a 50 lb loss a few days ago and NO ONE has said a word about it! My mom notices and congratulates me, but not one of my friends has said a word!! 50 effing pounds and NOTHING?? I feel so selfish and vain for needing the support and encouragement, but really! (my mom says it's because your friends see you so often, they don't see the gradual change)

You're doing great!!! don't let this small stuff get you down; enjoy those NSVs!!!:tongue_smilie:

[Chicky abby 0]

Big Hugs to you all :-) Loved hearing your stories and advice too! So nice to know we can lean on one another, even for seemingly trivial things like my post! I knew my LB family would get it! xoxoox