Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

My own friends don't notice???



Recommended Posts

So I had surgery almost 8 weeks ago, lost over 35 pounds, and a TON of inches. I was disappointed that I went out last night with the girls I haven't seen since Christmas, who KNOW I had surgery, and no one said anything. Not even 'you look good'. I was crushed. I am wearing clothes I haven't been able to wear in two years, I wore high heels that I hadn't been able to walk in, and nothing. I ate half a salad because I wasn't hungry. Nothing. It's like it is a taboo subject? I felt so miserable when I came hom. I have such a long road ahead and I thought, wow, I am so fat no one can notice 35 pound weight loss? Is it just me?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't be discouraged, you are doing great. That is an awesome weight loss. Sounds like your friends could be a little jealous. Same thing with me, I lost 45 so far and my own sister hasn't said anything to me about my loss. She only makes comments to other people about how I should have the band taken out. So I know what you are talking about I just try to ignore it but it hurts. Best of luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I too agree you are doing an awesome job & dont let anyone make you feel the way you did last night, to me if they were true friends they would have said something even you look lovely tonight is better than a no comment,

Because they know you have had surgery i find it hard to believe they might feel slightly uncomfortable saying something?

Anyway you go girl your doing a fab job & enjoy the benefits

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you :-) Makes me feel better to hear your words of encouragement! My DH says the same, that they might be feeling jealous or insecure now that the token fat friend has made some serious changes. I just felt so deflated...before surgery I could barely walk half a block that's how bad I was. Just 35 pounds later I already feel like I lost 100 lbs because the pressure on my knees is gone! I just would have appreciated a little 'you go girl' from my two closest friends that I have known over 20 years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just wanted to say you are doing a wonderful job!

I'm sure they noticed. Who knows why they didn't say anything - but I wouldn't even worry about it.

Keep up the good work!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Abby, I am sorry your friends didn't give you the affirmation you deserve. You did have many NSVs (non scale victories) though, with the wearing of smaller shoes and clothes!!! Give yourself a pat on the back and reward your success with a facial or manicure or pedicure...you deserve it!!!

Mimi

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Congrats on the weight loss. So sorry about your friends. Sometimes women are so funny(weird not haha). They could be jealous,some might be worrying who will end up being the biggest. Your DH sounds like a great encouragement. Enjoy your new health and body!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've got a better story than that. I went on a girls weekend with some old friends I haven't seen in 2 years. In the last 2 years, I have lost 100 POUNDS!!! They didn't say a word about it. Can you believe that?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry, they noticed but could be jealous or concerned about your feelings. Most I find are jealous. Finally after I lost 90 lbs one said "i see you lost some weight, do you think you will keep it off this time?" I responded I hope so and then offered her some of my old clothes which she took! Don't be discouraged you are doing great!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They noticed! But they may have felt uncomfortable discussing it. Not even necessarily because of jealousy but because they thought perhaps you didn't want to be reminded of where you have already come from. I lost 110 pounds quite some time ago (and gained it back, of course) but one friend who never said a word finally admitted that she was afraid to mention anything about it because she didn't want me to think it made one iota of difference to our friendship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hon, when I was close to 300 people did not say much until I lost over 60pounds (even though they could totally tell) it will get to a point that it will be like: a huge elephant in the room and one of your friends will start the conversation.

The other thing is: some so called friends don't like the former fatty to change which forces them to 'evaluate' the current situtation. When they are unable to say: "well I am not a big as [fill in the blank]" anymore..human nature is: some people feel really uncomfortable about that.

This is just the begining. Some will be super supportive, others won't comment at all and some will be down right bitches (men and women). Pull up your hooker boots and get ready for the fun to begin.

Edited by CapitolChick

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just hit a 50 lb loss a few days ago and NO ONE has said a word about it! My mom notices and congratulates me, but not one of my friends has said a word!! 50 effing pounds and NOTHING?? I feel so selfish and vain for needing the support and encouragement, but really! (my mom says it's because your friends see you so often, they don't see the gradual change)

You're doing great!!! don't let this small stuff get you down; enjoy those NSVs!!!:tongue_smilie:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Big Hugs to you all :-) Loved hearing your stories and advice too! So nice to know we can lean on one another, even for seemingly trivial things like my post! I knew my LB family would get it! xoxoox

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×