Un-supportive Spouse Or Parent

[hannahj914 0]

WELL I DONT HAVE A SPOUSE SO IN MY CASE PARENT

MY FATHER HATES THE FACT THAT I AM GETTING THIS LAPBAND...BUT I KNOW IT COULD CHANGE MY LIFE I HAVE BEEN IN THE NEVER ENDING BATTLE SINCE I WAS 12 I HAVE DONE ALMOST ANYTHING TO LOSE THIS EXTRA WHAT I A CALL"HEADACHE":cursing:...HE DOESN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW HARD I TRY....ALL I NEED IS A HUG....LUCKY MY MOM IS HERE SHES AN ANGEL I DONT KNOW I WHAT WOULD DO WITHOUT HER ....ANY ADVICE?

[scoobydoo 0]

Hi Hannah, First of all here is a ((hug!)) Secondly, I can understand some of what you are going through because my husband is not 100% convinced that this surgery is good for me. He is basically going along with it because he knows I am determined to get it done and make it work for me. In your fathers case, I am sure that a lot of what he is feeling is probably being scared for you. People who don;t understand what the band is or howit works just don't understand. They tend to think all is required is diet and exercise. That does work for some people but not very many who have a lot of weight to lose. I just read a book by one of Muhammed Ali's daughters called "Fighting Weight". Her name is Khalia Ali. She had the lap band done and was over 300 pounds when she had it done. She looks fantastic now. She went through a lot of people not understanding either. Maybe reading it would help. Or give it to your dad to read. It got my husbands attention because she is related to Muhammed Ali and he knows who that is. LOL Wish I could help more, but I think just be sure that it is what YOU want to have done. If so, then having the courage to follow through no matter what anyone thinks helps keep you strong and focus on the reason you are doing this. I know that in the end, my hubby will come around, once he can see that it is working and I am okay. Hang in there, be strong and know that you are doing something for YOU. Your dad will probably come around.

[lingling 0]

I think your Dad is scared because he doesn't understand it - but the way to articulate that is to read up on it, not criticize it because they are scared (or JEALOUS!)

I love this bill of rights - the red ones are particularly appropriate for your dad!!

Personal Bill of Rights

1. I have the right to ask for what I want

2. I have the right to. say no to requests or demands I can't meet.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6. I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or it violates my values.

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

13. I have the right to feel scared and say 'I'm afraid."

14. I have the right to say 'I don't know.

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

20. I have the right to be in a nonabusive environment.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect

25. I have the right to be happy.

[hannahj914 0]

thanks guys..he still acting funny about it..but ill get the books =)

[KikstersRT 0]

I can relate to other ppl. Husband is so supportive! I am such a lucky wife. My mom can't understand why I would CHOOSE to have surgery when I could just "not eat that or spend more time in the gym". I haven't even told my dad. He would be even less understanding. It's OK. They will be supportive as the weight comes off. So for now, I have my wonderful friends and husbands support.