Post-Goal Weight Anxiety.

[MADE IT 2 MY GOAL..OH YEAH 0]

Hello... I'm 26 years old, 5'8", and weigh 380 pounds. I've been heavy ALL MY LIFE. I've always been told by everyone I meet that I'm facially beautiful. I've always had friends, always had a huge social life, and was always happy. I decided to get a lapband because I need to lose weight to be a more healthy person and live a more active life...the older I've gotten the more out of shape I've become since my days as a fastpitch softball player. I also want to lose weight to just see what life would be like as a thin person. How would my body look? How would my face change? Would my love life improve (PLEASE GOD YES!).

At any rate, my mother--who was also overweight and struggling with diabetes--had the gastric bypass two years ago and has had tremendous success. She got me interested in the lapband.

Ever since I started pursuing the lapband, I've become more and more depressed. I really realize now how fat I am. I see myself so much differently now. I see myself as disgusting when I used to not think I looked that bad. I'm also starting to experience a lot of stress related to the aftermath of weightloss. I keep thinking I'm going to have so much excess skin that I'm going to look horrible...I say to myself, "you may as well just stay fat!"

Did anyone else out there have these thoughts, fears, or questions? How were they dealt with? I'm not going to stop my journey toward banding--I'll get mine in late April/early May, but I just feel like I'm making myself sick with anxiety about looking worse post-goal. What should I do?

I have felt all of your fears. But, I pushed myself through them and realized, I deserve to be happy, to be able to look in the mirror and not be ashamed or disgusted with what I see. You probably will have excess skin after losing weight. The main thing to remember is, EXERCISE EXERCISE. I have a set of 3lb weights that I use 4 days a week for my arms, and when I go to the gym, I make sure I push myself to workout on my thighs and calfs. Sure, there are days that I have to push myself to go to the gym and I make up all kinds of excuses why I can't go (grocery shopping, to tired, I'll go tomorrow, there's people there and I'm embarrassed). After I go through the reasons I say to myself, I can go grocery shopping after I am finished, I will be even more tired if I just set around and do nothing, and I may be embarrassed to be infront of the "skinny" women, but atleast both they and I know that I am working on losing the weight.

Don't let your fears outweigh the goodness that this operation will bring to you.

[ldeere2005 0]

I was also very worried about the excess skin being a problem after I lose weight. I have a load to lose... and because of my age, even with exercise, I'm sure that I'll have to have some removed. But so what???!!!! This is my one chance in life to finally get healthy and be able to do the things I want to do! I want to feel good....go on walks, be active without my feet and legs killing me for a week afterward. Walk from my house to my mail box without being out of breath! And if I have to have another surgery in 2 or 3 years to take care of excess skin, I've come to terms with it. I'll get through that too and I'll feel even better! No need to worry about the things we haven't had to face yet... ready to get healthy now!!!

[jukebox81782 0]

The more I read everyone's words of encouragement, the more I realize that I am worrying too much about something I cannot fully control. I have abused my body for 26 years, and I will have to deal with how my body reacts when I finally try to be good to it by losing weight. Hopefully, I will not have too much penance to pay, but I'll jump that bridge when I come to it. Thank you so much for all of the encouragement and wise words! I'm so happy I found this site (thanks, Jaclyn!).

We are all going to do GREAT!! :tt1:)

[kaitlynmarie93 0]

omg this really makes me feel so much better, I don't know what I would do if I had never discovered this site. When I'm nervous or upset and I go on here i feel so much better knowing there are other people who know just how I feel. I know getting surgery is the right thing for me. I am also scared about how i will look afterwards. I hate being this big but I have found ways to deal with it and to protect myself from getting hurt. I'm just scared that afterwards I'll look so different that I won't feel like the same person, and I won't have any defensive walls to put up when I feel really selfconseius. I know I just need to take it one day at a time and not worry about the future because in the long run I will be healthier and I know this will keep me on this planet longer. And Jessica ty you so much for posting this thread it's been a big help, and I wish all of you the best of luck.

[MissChristina 0]

Just my two sense, I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this to you or in response to your post... the lapband is different from the bypass because the weightloss is alot more gradual. From what I understand you can lose an average of 1-2 pounds per month, where as the bypass- I know someone who lost 50 pounds in 3 months- that's very different. The bypass does not give the skin time to retract back appropriately, therefore there is going to be more dramatic sagging. Every body is different, but from knowing people who have had both procedures and from what the doctor has told me, your skin should look alot different compared to a person who's had the bypass. I don't think your results will be the same as your mothers. Another thing to consider is age. I'm 25, and you being 26 we're very fortunate to have more elasticity in our skin compared to someone over the age of 45.

you ARE beautiful, and I'm sure the surgery will bring out your features even more. Be excited! It's a whole new journey. You aren't ugly now, and you won't be ugly then. Like everything else, it'll take time to get use to.

I know for me- I can't WAIT to shop at the mall in other stores other then Lane Bryant! New York and Company, The Gap, here I come!

[kgloverii 0]

Jess,

I am coming to you from 'the other side.' First of all... you will have excess skin. But I GUARANTEE you'll look better post weight loss than you are worried about. I was SURE I would want plastic surgery after I lost my weight, but the more I look at myself, the clothes look decent without the surgery... so I'm just going to deal... for now. Cute shorts cover the wobbly thighs, and FOAM is your best friend, as far as your boobs are concerned. GOOD fitting undergarments and clothes make a world of difference. Stay positive. YOU DESERVE THE BEST HEALTH. And in getting that, you're going to be looking mighty fine in those new clothes. Promise. :thumbup:

[jukebox81782 0]

Cute shorts cover the wobbly thighs, and FOAM is your best friend, as far as your boobs are concerned. GOOD fitting undergarments and clothes make a world of difference.

Thank you, k! I'm really starting to get more comfortable with the idea of accepting the body I will have after I reach my goal (but I'm still saving plastic surgery money just in case :cursing:)

From what I understand you can lose an average of 1-2 pounds per month, where as the bypass- I know someone who lost 50 pounds in 3 months- that's very different...I'm 25, and you being 26 we're very fortunate to have more elasticity in our skin compared to someone over the age of 45...you ARE beautiful, and I'm sure the surgery will bring out your features even more....I know for me- I can't WAIT to shop at the mall in other stores other then Lane Bryant! New York and Company, The Gap, here I come!

I've actually seen people who REALLY commit to the diet and add hardcore exercise routines into their daily life have weight loss that mirrors that of someone w/the bypass--this is what i'm hoping for because I'm ready to be at least 2/3 to my goal by christmas!! (we shall see...)

Thank you for the compliments. I've been actually getting more comfortable (totally ironic I know) with appreciating my larger body for some of its larger ass-sets...hahahah! I'm hoping I can still have the donka and rack I've got now...just on a smaller scale!

I'm right there with you on the shopping thing. I HATE shopping! Lane Bryant, Fashion Bug, Torrid...those will be names of the past, honey, for you and for me!! :tt2:

[kaitlynmarie93 0]

Seriously I love Torrid to death but I deffinatly won't miss having to shop there, I can't wait to be able to fit into all the cute clothes at the mall, and omg boots I am going to have so many pairs of boots and the best thing is they won't have a 20 inch circumfrense.

[hannahj914 0]

i CANT WAIT TO JUST SHOP EVERYWHERE INSTEAD OF HAVING TO PICK STORES...IT SUCKS TO HAVE SKINNY FRIENDS WHO CANT RELATE BUT THE GO INTO ALL THESE CUTE STORES AND I CANT FIND ANYTHING IN THERE

[jukebox81782 0]

yeah...i always joke that i only like shopping for purses and earrings...those are the only things that always fit...no matter what!