Great week + Rude "friends" + moving scales makes me a happy camper

[Shanyab 0]

I am down 18 lbs since my surgery date on March 12, 2009.

its weird but I don't see it but MAN I can feel it, things are just feeling different all over my body.

I am finally able to fit into some jeans that did not fit me for the last 6 months. I took out all of the "skinny" clothes that used to fit me when I had dropped 150 lbs and had to put away once I fell in love with my hubby and eating out at the same time.

I am looking forward to 2 weddings this summer and a family trip to Orlando for 12 days with my kids and aunt and will look forward to wearing a bathing suit in public which I have not done in the last 3 years.

My husband has lost 7 lbs in the last week or so just with the change of pace in the household, we both believe that this is a chance for the both of us to get healthy together.

I do have one downturn to this, I have some people in my life that I would consider to be associates or people that I just know in general that are just so rude when it comes to the tact of my weight loss and gain over the last 3-4 years.

( Background )

I used to weight 350 back in 2001. Between 2001-2002 I lost a total of 150 lbs on my own ( called the I got left for a 20 yr old diet ) I was broke, paying a mortgage by myself with 2 small kids. I managed to keep the weight off for about 3 + years until I met my now husband. Over the course of 5 years I worked my way up to 290 then down to 240 then back up to 289 all over again.

In all of that I was on a medically supervised diet for a period of 2 years where one med worked wonderfully but would have eventually caused me to have a heart attack so it was a NO go ... next was a placebo and then the real deal that did not work. I watched my hubby on the same study lose 50 lbs and he looked HOT ... then it stopped working for him and poof gained back 30 lbs ( and still looks hot )

all of that made me say STOP ... do something that will work. No more yo-yoing.

I have a bad heart, I had at one point a 73% chance of a heart attack in the next few years or a possible stroke with my BP levels.

But some people just don't get it. I am in some ways sick of the why did you, you dont need it, your fine the way you are ( whilst they are a size 3 ) commentary. I just wish that people could just look at is as yet another surgery in my book that will make my life easier to live in order to be able to see my kids grow up and have their own family. That above anything else was why I did my band.

I am truly grateful for a site like this, I have met some of the nicest people that can really understand have it 50 lbs or 300 lbs to lose that its a huge part of our lives and its something that we can all do together with support and friendship and that's a wonderful thing.

Sorry for the long rambling post ...

[heartfire 4]

Don't apologize!

You've done a great thing for yourself by stopping the madness and taking control of your heath.

Some comebacks, if you'd like:

"I'm sorry, I don't remember asking your opinion."

"Actually, I'm not fine just the way I am. My doctor predicted my death within a few years if I didn't do something to get healthy."

"I'd rather live than die, thankyouverymuch!"

"Oh, I see, you'd prefer my kids grow up without a mother!"

Okay, so the rude comments ticked me off. Especially when anyone close to you would be aware of your health issues, even if they are just a a coworker!

If you want to be nice, you could just simply state that you had/have serious health issues that facilitated a need to make a solid decision about getting healthy.

Stories like yours are some of the very reasons I have chosen to tell very few people. It's not like a secret, but I have kept it somewhat quiet. Not something I've been very vocal about. I'm also pretty private and really just don't want a lot of questions. I had several reasons for keeping mostly quiet. I admire those who can be vocal about their surgery. I just can't.

Best wishes on your process and your good health! Take care!

[bandpal 7]

Shanyab, congratulations on your progress. Successful "closet shopping" and not breaking out in a cold sweat at the thought of putting on a bathing suit are only two of the many benefits of the band. Enjoy them.

Now, about those people. Some of them may actually be trying to hold you back, while others may be sincerely complimentary when they say, "you don't need it, you're fine the way you are". But all these comments are meaningless, and ultimately they just have to be screened out.

Just as the band helps me to define my limits for what I put into my body, we have to define limits for what we put into our heads. Maybe these people are sick, vengeful, sexually frustrated or well-meaning; the important thing is that their comments can have no effect on me or relevence to me unless I allow them in.

For me, one of the reasons why I got fat was because I didn't have enough skin - and I allowed the world to enter my body (sounds freaky, but think about it) by allowing outside events to influence me to the point where I would binge over them ceaselessly, a never ending cycle of anger and humiliation. Like I said, we have to let the band affect our mindset as well as our stomach. If you hear something you don't like, don't swallow it - spit it out! This might be a little graphic, but it's from my heart. One more thing - the best weapon against people and situations like this not a snappy reply but your own sense of humor and compassion.

Best wishes for continued success, sorry for the long and rambling reply (actually, not sorry at all),

[coloradobanding 5]

I REALLY like the responses from heartfire..CLASSIC!

The bottom line for me is, NOBODY on this EARTH (except for my new life friends here on LPT) knows what I'm going through, what I've gone through, or what lies ahead for me. ONLY I know that. While some may be well meaning, I honestly just reply that this is a personal decision I made for many reasons that I don't need to discuss.

I am SOOOOO happy with my band I cannot tell you.

I was SO much like you in so many ways it's scary! I was 255, lost down to 163 (I'm 5'6 so 163 looks very good on me :rolleyes2:). Then people would see my "before" pics and say, OMG, that looks nothing like you (and it truly didn't). However, once I gained all that weight back + 10 (thank you to my 2 wonderful boys and overindulgent husband, and yeah, ok, I was lazy and ate like crap too :scared2:) no one said anything. They almost "helped" me live in my fantasy world of, "I still look good" (which trust me, I did not!).

Suffice it to say that the people in our life we consider friends and even our family cannot possibly know what we've done and why. So I politely, yet firmly, ask them not to comment. Or if they do, I tell them why I found that remark offensive and it has opened more than an eye or two.

Live by my motto..."Do what's best for you and screw the rest" :scared2:

[maestrita 43]

I love what you said, Bandpal. It's true that we choose what to let in and even how to interpret what others are putting out there. I like to try to believe that people are mostly good in their intentions, but some have unrealized/subconscious motivations that can be harmful to us. Good food for thought...yuk, yuk...Oh, the pun was so unintended...

Oh, and Shanya, you're awesome. I have a feeling that this is going to be the best summer ever for March banders!