I need to be rehabilitated.

[TheCapn 0]

I don't post often here, but have lurked since before my surgery. I'll just go ahead and start from the beginning.

So, I had surgery late September of '07, paid for by my parents (immense pressure because of that of course). I weighed 519 lbs pre-op. Didn't get restriction until about February of '08, I got off to an awesome start and lost 100-115 pounds within 6 months, this takes us to summer '08.

Fall rolls around and I stall out, I can't seem to keep restriction etc. The doc checked for a leak, seemed fine. Little to no weight loss. My last fill back in September of 08, my pouch was showing beginning signs of stretching (doc said nothing serious, happens quite a bit, but I need to be careful). Well, I think this depressed me and I fell off the deep end. Stopped going to the support groups, everything. Stop going to the gym, the full nine yards. No restriction. I'm in trouble. Instead of doing the right thing, I let it go.

Around Christmas of December, I got back in the gym and have been going at it since. I weighed in recently and have put on 20 lbs. I know I've put on quite a bit of muscle since going back to the gym, when, if ever, I get to goal I want to be pretty stout so I've been doing heavy weights to build muscle. I've been doing some intense cardio (in my opinion), I'm up to an hour a day, 20 miles, on the bike, says I'm burning about 730 calories per session. My problem is obviously my eating.

I am absolutely petrified that my stomach has stretched. I did a week of liquids to see if things changed. I definitely felt smaller inside (if that's even possible), but am still able to eat whatever, etc. Of course once that happened, it was like being a pig at the trough with no restriction.

I'm going in for a fill next week to get things checked out (my doc does all fills under flouro with barium swallow).

I feel like I need a complete system reboot and start from scratch. Should I go on a week liquid diet before the fill in order to shrink my pouch? Would it even shrink?

Also, some tips on how to get back in the "mode" of losing weight again would be great. My parents, although supportive, have started raising questions and wondering where the results are at.

Any help would be great.

[amberstar 1]

Go to 5daypouchtest.com. Give that a try. Sorry you're having such a hard time!! really does sound like you need more fills. How many cc's do you have currently and what size band?

[TheCapn 0]

I think I'm around 8-9 CC's in a 12 or 14cc band (not sure on the size).

[plain 12]

Ok, Capn, a few thoughts:

First, doesn't matter one whit how many cc's are in your band, so don't stress over knowing / retaining that knowledge. We're all different, so our "fill" level will differ. It's kinda like looking at a jogger and asking him "what size running shoe do you wear".

Second, you say that when you did the week of liquids, you felt smaller "inside", yet felt no restriction. That suggests to me that perhaps you may 1) have mixed up the feeling of "full' with the feeling of "stuffed", or 2) May be totally relying on the band to act as a physical barrier to do all the work for you

RE: the feeling of fullness, a very wise bandster explained this to me when I was but a newb.....He suggested that I eat (slowly and thoughtfully) until I was "Not hungry", as opposed to eating until I thought I was "full". For the most part, it's a mental shift, but one that has helped me more than anything else. We should not try to eat until we are "full" (that implies that we can hold no more....that we are filled to capacity), but until we are sated. It requires paying close attention to your body when you eat, but give it a try. Don't cost nuthin' (to steal a quote from Animal House).

RE: letting the band do all the work - This is not how the band was designed. Don't eat until the band "stops" you (also known as "challenging the band"). I guess this kinda ties in with the above paragraph, eh? Composition was never a strength.

Also, like you've indicated, exercise is extremely important. Cardio and strength training. Keep at it.....sounds like you're doing a good job there.

Last thing......it is natural to get a little down at the roadblocks and downturns. What really matters is what you do TODAY. You shouldn't forget the lessons that yesterday taught you, but neither should you let yesterday drag you down. You are absolutely capable of turning this thing around RIGHT NOW. Do it man!!

Edited March 20, 2009 by plain
typos

[lacasst 1]

Ok, Capn, a few thoughts:

First, doesn't matter one whit how many cc's are in your band, so don't stress over knowing / retaining that knowledge. We're all different, so our "fill" level will differ. It's kinda like looking at a jogger and asking him "what size running shoe do you wear".

Second, you say that when you did the week of liquids, you felt smaller "inside", yet felt no restriction. That suggests to me that perhaps you may 1) have mixed up the feeling of "full' with the feeling of "stuffed", or 2) May be totally relying on the band to act as a physical barrier to do all the work for you

RE: the feeling of fullness, a very wise bandster explained this to me when I was but a newb.....He suggested that I eat (slowly and thoughtfully) until I was "Not hungry", as opposed to eating until I thought I was "full". For the most part, it's a mental shift, but one that has helped me more than anything else. We should not try to eat until we are "full" (that implies that we can hold no more....that we are filled to capacity), but until we are sated. It requires paying close attention to your body when you eat, but give it a try. Don't cost nuthin' (to steal a quote from Animal House).

RE: letting the band do all the work - This is not how the band was designed. Don't eat until the band "stops" you (also known as "challenging the band"). I guess this kinda ties in with the above paragraph, eh? Composition was never a strength.

Also, like you've indicated, exercise is extremely important. Cardio and strength training. Keep at it.....sounds like you're doing a good job there.

Last thing......it is natural to get a little down at the roadblocks and downturns. What really matters is what you do TODAY. You shouldn't forget the lessons that yesterday taught you, but neither should you let yesterday drag you down. You are absolutely capable of turning this thing around RIGHT NOW. Do it man!!

Plain,

Well put & those were awesome words of encouragement! I like that today is what matters and it's never to late to turn this around! We can be such all or nothing kind of people...........thanks!!:tongue_smilie:

[SueAZ 3]

Plain,

I am so glad you posted. I am taking that advice from the old bandster, eat slowly till you are no longer hungry. That makes so much sense to me. I am having a hard time with Portion Control. I focus on how much I use to eat and think that what I eat now isn't enough. (wrong) It's such a mind game for me right now.

[bandpal 7]

Dear Capn,

You've already received some excellent advice here, but I wanted to chip in with some of my own.

I really felt for you when you mentioned that your parents paid for your surgery and are now pressuring you for results. I have had my parents (wonderful, loving people) pay for various attempts at losing weight. For me, their good intentions aside, this led only to pressure, humiliation, guilt, anger, frustration and failure. Even though you might not be able to pay your parents back in the near future, is there any chance that you could make a commitment in principle to reimburse them at some point, or to pay them a symbolic sum monthly? This is not only to get them off your back - you need to know that this is your battle, that you are doing this for yourself and not for them. I'd be concerned that no matter what other efforts you make to "rehabilitate" yourself, the harmful dynamic of this situation will keep bringing you down.

Having a fill done under flouro sounds like the right thing to do. I hope all goes well. Once it has been established that you pouch is working, maybe you could ask your doctor for guidelines regarding how much you should be eating. It's good that you recognise that this is the core of the problem, rather than what ever muscle weight you've been putting on at the gym.

For me, the band is a tool to reestablish limits and change my relationship to food – how much I eat, how fast I eat, why I eat. It can't do the work for me, and if I choose to agress against it and sabotage myself, then I will ultimately succeed. Cap'n, it looks like you want to stop before you get to this point. Like Plain said, you can.

One more thing – stop lurking, start posting and build yourself a support system here. I couldn't have done it without the people here. Isolating, which you've already identified as a sign of trouble for you, will get you only to bad places. You don't need to be ashamed of anything here . We are all in the same boat. Keep us in the loop.

[HeatherO 7]

I agree with what everyone else has said. You can do this, you have already taken off over 100 pounds. You just need to get back in the right frame of mind again. I think the 5 day pouch test is an excellent way to get started in changing the mindset. I wish you the best of luck.

[Totallytater 1]

Today is a great day to start fresh and anew. You can do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!